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Thread: Online dating VS real dating? help please!?

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    Online dating VS real dating? help please!?

    Okay. well.. Heres the thing...

    I'm not exactly in a relationship with the online guy. We've been friends for 5 years and i met him a couple times and stuff. He's kinda my best friend and we both know we both like each other. He's pretty damn shy and he likes being by himself most of the time. I love that about him. He does have a few girl friends (like girl FRIENDS not in a 'lovelove' way..) He had a friend come from Melbs(here) to spend the weekend at his place in Perth. I'm friends with that girl and I know she has a boyfriend. I asked him after she went home if he enjoyed it and all, and he told me that they were playing in the gamesroom and there was a lot of tickling and hugging and like he said, 'she was trying to break my brain!' meaning she turned him on. At first I was insanely jealous, but now when i do think of them two together, I feel nothing. I feel so damn calm and neutral that it's scaring me. I personally think that my brain is putting up defenses incase he does go out with her sometime soon, y'know?

    Okay. And this happened just yesterday. My friend (also my neighbour..) came over in the morning to ask my parents if he can take me out on a date. I personally don't know if that means "can your daughter be my girlfriend?" or "can she come out to play?" lol I'm still in my awkward phase around him since i barely know him and he talks a whole damn lot, so i try to ..catch up. o_o But don't get me wrong, I still like the guy. (and what puzzles me is why the hell does he even like me? though the only answer i can come up with is everyone is different, so everyone likes different things. o_O)

    AND THATS MY PROBLEM!! i like my neighbour. but i LOVE this online guy. -_-;

    So. opinions please? and advice? i need a whole heap of advice...

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    love is a very strange term to use for an online guy - especially when u have only met a couple of times. very ur tummy may do flips, yes u may enjoy his stimulating convo through the screen, yes you may even get a vibe he likes you too - that doesnt mean love - infatuation maybe - you dont know him, like really know him - how can u fall in love with a figment of ur imagination?

    i prefer the old skool method - the graze of his hand as he passes you by just cos he has to make physical contact, the secret little looks then smile he gives u cos u know he likes what he sees - the gazillion texts you get just saying how gorgeous u looked in ur knee-highs

    ok - maybe its just me then lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by tufty View Post
    love is a very strange term to use for an online guy - especially when u have only met a couple of times. very ur tummy may do flips, yes u may enjoy his stimulating convo through the screen, yes you may even get a vibe he likes you too - that doesnt mean love - infatuation maybe - you dont know him, like really know him - how can u fall in love with a figment of ur imagination?

    i prefer the old skool method - the graze of his hand as he passes you by just cos he has to make physical contact, the secret little looks then smile he gives u cos u know he likes what he sees - the gazillion texts you get just saying how gorgeous u looked in ur knee-highs

    ok - maybe its just me then lol
    lol yeah but thats the thing. im not sure how to put it. guys who are intelligent and stuff stimulate me. i love the fact that he's intelligent. although personality and physical touch plays a good part of relationships, i'm more of the type who like personality over looks. Plus he's a pretty down to earth kinda guy. my type.

    I dunno though. You are pretty much right.. Except i cant exactly "let go" of my online friend, especially since in my heart he's #1 so its ... confusing.

    And nono. I got him to admit he likes me and stuff.

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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    I'd NEVER give up an opportunity for a real, live guy for a remote chance of a relationship with an online guy.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    I'd NEVER give up an opportunity for a real, live guy for a remote chance of a relationship with an online guy.
    haha. but thats the thing. my 'outer' self is different to my 'inner' self. Outside I'm all nice and smiles and put on the "I'm an angel~" attitude. So unless you dont know me for a while (like pretty damn long) you wont know how i really am. Cause I'm quite scary, have an attitude problem, think death is funny.. XD am highly uh- 'sexual'. o____o and so on, and so on. can't really think right now.

    Thats why i like the online guy better. He knows all that and is still accepting me. And its hilarious when im in my sexual moods cause he gets all uncomfortable and changes the topic several times. LOL. guys like that make me laugh.

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    It sounds to me like you're afraid of getting hurt if someone doesn't like the "real you". That's why the online guy is so appealing. You can keep him at a distance and--log on when you need some attention and then just log off when things get uncomfortable.

    Why not give the neighbor a chance? At least you can really get to know him.
    “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin

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    Just because you're going on a date with the neighbor doesn't mean you're cheating on the online guy or anything; besides the online guy seems to have interests in another girl as well. And you can always go back online to the other guy if it doesn't work out. No harm in seeing what it's like.
    This message has been paid for and approved by the Beep™

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    I'd NEVER give up an opportunity for a real, live guy for a remote chance of a relationship with an online guy.
    hey vashti! I agree with you also because in person what you see is what you get..No bs! To add though, you seem fairly young and confused right now so why not try to date both and see which guy you like more?
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

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    lol haha. thanks guys. im going out with my neighbour on sunday. ^^;

    @starbuck: yeah. you're probably right. i feel like my real self is pretty damn fugly, so it hurts if someone who likes me irl got to know the real me and would be like "damn. you're crazy."

    @Beep: haha. i feel like i am since im going back and forth between them. if i like someone, i'll dedicate my life to that person. i dont like going back and forth between people. it makes me feel like a damn whore. <- though i'm technically not sexing no one (physically.. hehe) but eh. im not sure if you know what i mean? i do not condone cheating or any form of it. if you want to cheat, you should be prepared to tell your lover that. so BAH

    @ASip4u: yeah. thanks. imma do that. as said before. going with him on sunday. trying to think of it as just "going out to have fun" so i dont get nervous and be all awkward and shy. :|

    thankyou guys

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