Urgent!!i need help

[sotornapart]

I have been with my highschool sweet heart for a little over 4 years, one of wich we have been engaged. We have started looking on a home and planning our wedding for late next year. He always makes sure I have what I need food, money, a car ext. He has stayed by my side through some tough things, I also have stood beside him through the thick. However he does not like to talk, cuddle, or do any of those other sappy things that make me feel so good. Alot of times I leave him feeling empty almost alone.
One year ago the office I work for was sold out to another person. I had a little silly crush on him since he came. He is 32 I am 20. Honestly I laughed at myself when this first happened. First and foremost I would never cheat on my finace. I have a great amount of respect for him, but my little silly "crush" has come into full bloom. I think about my boss everyday. He is funny, smart, honest, very respectfull, an animal lover, everything I want in a companion.
I have noticed my self slowing down my finace in regards with proceeding on looking for a home and other things, because I really don't know what to do.
Is this a grass looks greener on the other side kinda thing. Cold feet? How do you know if it's time to move on or just get over those feelings.

[tufty]

no1 - ur getting cold feet
no2 - ur boss is totally the wrong person to go after
no3 - if ur feeling empty when u leave ur bf - tell him!
no4 - i havent got a number 4 - i just like even numbers

[vashti]

You're just a kid at 20... too young to be even THINKING about marriage. Move on.

[IncognitoSir]

Wait A minute, you may be kinda young to be getting married but why would you throw all that away for........a crush? Thats all it is, a crush, if that. I think you're getting cold feet personally, but I think you need to talk things over with you finance before you make any life altering decisions here. Your finance must mean a lot to you, you guys have been together for some time. Slow it down, tell him how you are feeling and what you need that he isn't giving to you. Proceed with extreme caution.

[SirWagginston]

I have been with my highschool sweet heart for a little over 4 years, one of wich we have been engaged. We have started looking on a home and planning our wedding for late next year. He always makes sure I have what I need food, money, a car ext. He has stayed by my side through some tough things, I also have stood beside him through the thick. However he does not like to talk, cuddle, or do any of those other sappy things that make me feel so good. Alot of times I leave him feeling empty almost alone.
One year ago the office I work for was sold out to another person. I had a little silly crush on him since he came. He is 32 I am 20. Honestly I laughed at myself when this first happened. First and foremost I would never cheat on my finace. I have a great amount of respect for him, but my little silly "crush" has come into full bloom. I think about my boss everyday. He is funny, smart, honest, very respectfull, an animal lover, everything I want in a companion.
I have noticed my self slowing down my finace in regards with proceeding on looking for a home and other things, because I really don't know what to do.
Is this a grass looks greener on the other side kinda thing. Cold feet? How do you know if it's time to move on or just get over those feelings.

Now when you say "animal lover"...

[sotornapart]

By animal lover I ment he has two dogs. I have two dogs. We talk about stupid things pet owners do. Stand in rain/ sleet/ snow for 20 min waiting for dog to find perfect twing to pee on.
PERV!!!

[sotornapart]

I know my bf and I are young. But we are the oldeset young people I have ever seen. My family loves him just as much as I do and are full steam ahead with house hunting/ wedding planning. I have never let loose, partied, did silly teenager stuff. Everything is always rational, practical, thought out. But the feeling I have for my boss make me feel like I have already betrayed my bf. The feelings are equall returned, but as I said before the lines are NEVER crossed. How can I be a good partner in life when I am thinking about others. Is that fair? Maybe these feeling will subcide, tht cold feet will go away?!

[SirWagginston]

I was joking. Now I'm not. I don't think never having partied, let loose or done silly teenager stuff makes you adult-like. I call that being sheltered, and it makes you just the opposite. When you say that your fiance will take care of you, you are making him into a father figure. You have convinced yourself that you are in love with him because you are not ready to grow up.

I really think you need to strongly reconsider your plans for marriage.

[Heratriumphant]

Now when you say "animal lover"...

We actually had one of those that posted here for a short time...
Used to post pics of sexy dogs.

[SirWagginston]

We actually had one of those that posted here for a short time...
Used to post pics of sexy dogs.

I was actually thinking along the lines of someone who makes love like an animal, but that's funny, too.

[sotornapart]

I was joking. Now I'm not. I don't think never having partied, let loose or done silly teenager stuff makes you adult-like. I call that being sheltered, and it makes you just the opposite. When you say that your fiance will take care of you, you are making him into a father figure. You have convinced yourself that you are in love with him because you are not ready to grow up.

I really think you need to strongly reconsider your plans for marriage.

Maybe your right. I dunno. That's why I asked for advice isn't it? I do have to defend myself a little though. I've decided I need to wake up from this fantasy and come back down to earth. I love my finace. My boss is a nice guy and I am flattered by his intrest in me but I am very thankfull for what I have and it needs to be left at that. I do have to disagree with you about the whole father-figure thing a little. A husband, fiance, bf what ever is supposed to "take care of" their significant other. I support and take care of him just as much. That is the type of person I want to be with. Someone who would do anything to provide and care for his family. I was not sheltered in he least. I grew up in an abusive home. My stepfather was a dirty cop to say the least and I was exposed to alot of things I should not have been. I moved away from home when I was 15 and met my now finance. He has been there since. So in a way maybe he is my "father figure". But in a good way. He loves and protects me. And down the road if it's ment to be and we get marrired, have children, I know he would love and protect them the same way. How can you get any better reassurance than that? I am kind of embarassed to have admited to a crush on someone else, bc he is good to me. Maybe that explains why I choose to confide in strangers.

[vashti]

Was he 27 and dating a 15 year old?

Yuck.

[sotornapart]

Was he 27 and dating a 15 year old?

Yuck.

NO!!!!!!!
My boss is currently 32.
My fiance is currently 21.
Sorry for confusion. That would be gross.

[SirWagginston]

So you're more adult-like than I gave you credit for. But if you like sappy romantic things as much as I do, and your significant other doesn't understand that, you have a big problem. If you stay with him and don't find a way to fix this dilemma, you will find yourself having crushes on other people for the rest of your life--or at least until you grow bitter and depressed.

Have you tried explaining your feelings to him?

[Gigabitch]

I think your crush on your boss is your unconscious way of telling yourself you're not ready to get married.