Friend has a mild eating disorder how to handle?

[Asip4u]

Girls at 5'5 are suppose to be anywhere from 110 to 140. I know a few who are around 110-120 and look pretty healthy. The main thing is that she doesn't continue to lose weight and especially if she loses a lot of it fast. Try to be there for her and get her to eat high calorie foods..you'll have to sort of trick her somehow by making it fun so she won't argue and all that. People don't want to eat when they are being chalenged or are depressed which is true in her case.

Even if you get her to eat few things that are high in calories, at least it will keep her going. I don't know what age she is but as an example at 25, 110 lbs being 5'5 you need around 1500-1600 cals/day which is fairly easy to get. Good luck!

[girl68]

Here's a place in your area - [url]http://www.caribooeatingdisorders.org[/url]

This is actually really far from Vancouver. Thanks for trying though!

[girl68]

Girls at 5'5 are suppose to be anywhere from 110 to 140. I know a few who are around 110-120 and look pretty healthy. The main thing is that she doesn't continue to lose weight and especially if she loses a lot of it fast. Try to be there for her and get her to eat high calorie foods..you'll have to sort of trick her somehow by making it fun so she won't argue and all that. People don't want to eat when they are being chalenged or are depressed which is true in her case.

Even if you get her to eat few things that are high in calories, at least it will keep her going. I don't know what age she is but as an example at 25, 110 lbs being 5'5 you need around 1500-1600 cals/day which is fairly easy to get. Good luck!

This wouldn't be helping.

[Asip4u]

This wouldn't be helping.

Now how did i know you were going to say this? When i initially read your post i couldn't help but think at first... "she thinks at 5'5 and 105 lbs her friend looks gross"...I know girls at that height and 110 lbs and they look great, are healthy and so..it sounded more like girls are challenging each other than anything else. As i said before, if she is starving her self on purpose you can always do something about it. Can't tell you how many times i've heard this girls trying so hard to compete with their looks.

[iateyourcookie]

Well I have recently read a book about anorexia. Basically the girl had starved herself to look thin ALL her life because like QoC said, she controls what goes in and out of her mouth. Everyone around her was so worried about her that they tried to break the habit but she was stubborn. Eventually she found a website where there are girls like her, who starve to be thin.
When her parents whisk her away to this rehab center for bulimic and anorexic girls she still sees herself as neither bulimic or anorexic, but as a person who just wants to be skinny and to control her own destiny.
The ending was that she got hold of the computer and one of her 'online' friends died from this disease. And it came as a blow to her. That she didn't know this would kill. And so she started to change.

So maybe what I'm trying to say is you could point out to her that you can really risk her health and such that could lead to death. You could give her a good scare by showing pictures of uber-thin girls and ask her, 'Would you want to be like that?' or something. I'm not sure since I haven't really experienced it before and most of these stuff I just read it from books. Good luck.

[vashti]

Girls at 5'5 are suppose to be anywhere from 110 to 140.

It all depends on her frame. 110 would be the outlier weight, appropriate for someone with very delicate bones. That does not describe the vast majority of people who are 5'5.

BTW - hello, Asip!

[TJavis]

Have her talk to a professional, and buy her some really yummeh food she cant resist! lol

[girl68]

That doesn't work on girls who *think* they're eating just fine.

I've distanced myself from her. Tried talking to her she's a brick wall that spits back. She's toxic to me and I want very little to do with her. I don't need a girl who wants me to get fat so she can be the "skinny" one.

[Gigabitch]

I'm sorry your friend is a little nuts. It's frustrating.

[QueenofCorona]

That doesn't work on girls who *think* they're eating just fine.

I've distanced myself from her. Tried talking to her she's a brick wall that spits back. She's toxic to me and I want very little to do with her. I don't need a girl who wants me to get fat so she can be the "skinny" one.

She'll regret her behavior when she is friendless.

[girl68]

She is, thing is I think I look great and I work DAMN hard at it (and not by starving). And there she sits starving, giving ME the peice of cake loaded with everything fat. Yet she cuts her piece into fourths and then takes half of it and claims she's full. BAHHHHHHHH freggin' frusterating.

Yet she's sooo proud of me seeking counselling on body image issues... crazy girl she is indeed. However she's still a good friend but right now I'm limiting my exposure.

[lavnder]

Eating disorders are very serious and though her situation is "mild" it could become far worse. Personally I have a friend who has had unhealthy eating habits for at least 10 years. Although she wants to stop she can't. As a friend all I can do is suggest seeking therapy or support groups. You are her friend and you should express your concern in a caring, but serious matter. If she's not ready then nothing will happen. Be there to support her-you don't condone her behavior but you are still her friend.

[IndiReloaded]

Tell her she's starting to look like shit and should eat a bit more. Since her appearance is what's driving this, then let her know its starting to be overkill.

Failing that, you can start sending her Karen Carpenter links. She died from heart problems from not eating enough, I think.

Someone posted a link, but I've never heard of them (no offense to Haze, but I live in the same area as Girl and your link is damned far away). Here is a site from Fraser Health that discusses eating disorders:

[url=http://www.fraserhealth.ca/your_health/healthy_living/nutrition/eating_disorders]Eating Disorders[/url]

You can also call your local public health nurse for advice, also at FHS and free. They are a great resource and many visit the local schools, so will be very familiar with the issue.

Good luck, Girl.

[cancankant]

I would ask her if she's okay, honestly. I wouldn't bring up weight or eating. Just a friendly, "Hey, I noticed you seem down. Is anything wrong?" She may open up, or she may not open up about her feelings.

Eating disorders are about feelings. I don't agree that this is always about "control". Sometimes it is about physical appearance and looking good. In some way, being the "skinniest", means being the "prettiest" in the person's eyes.

I can tell you this is true, since I suffered from an eating disorder and have since recovered. I did not have a severe eating disorder and did not receive treatment for my eating disorder from a professional. I did have a doctor confront me when I went for a regular checkup. I won't say what my smallest was, since this can be triggering to people with ED (not that this is an ED forum, but whatever). Let's just say it was very close to where your friend is right now physically.

She is probably reeling from the loss of the boyfriend and would like to attract another man. In her mind, the way to do this is to be the "prettiest" one. Not the prettiest version of her. The "prettiest in the room" or "the skinniest in the room". Everywhere she goes. This is how I was. I didn't say it, but I thought it.

Of course, the way she is going about this is making her unattractive and hurting her health. There is no easy way to tell someone that you think they need help for this type of disorder. They will be angry and since you are a friend, she will most likely accuse you of being "jealous" of her thinness.

[girl68]

Wow, you just bumped a really old thread. Thanks for the input but I'm not really friends with her anymore.