Player or serious?

[Heratriumphant]

I know you can't see this yet, but 30yo men who date teenagers are always screwed up.

Yes, I'm sure you have plenty in common BUT the point is that at his age he should almost nothing in common with you. Guys like him suffer from arrested developement. Which means as you continue to get older and more mature he will not.

I dated a 30yo when I was 19, when I run into him now (15 years later) he is exactly the same. Still about to finish his degree/get a good job/get his own apt/finish that novel et cetra...

I've seen the same thing of my friends much older ex's. These men are all broken.

[TheWizard]

He is graduating in May with an associates in Drafting.

To be fair anyone with a Bachelors' will scoff at that. Getting an Associates is usually on par with getting employee of the month at Costco. Yeah, you did good... but only about 10 people are really going to care.. and most of them aren't giving out jobs.

As for the real problem here you guys are in different LIFE stages. Age is one things, LIFE STAGES is another. It's generally impossible to have a successful relationship when you're both in different stages of life. You need to go to college and get the college experience, not to mention the bachelor's degree that your "man" didn't.

Stop doing this with your emotions and when you look back in 10 years you can thank us. Sort of like how when you're 14 and your kids ground you for smoking - you don't really appreciate it until later in life, like when you're his age...

[Lulu]

HAHAHA!! This guy HAS to be my ex! And yes- my ex has a substance abuse problem, 31, living with mom now, and flirting with 18 year old girls! I couldn't stand him anymore so I kicked HIM out. This guy is using you. My ex sleeps with these 18 year old girls, but flirts relentlessly with me and would love for me to take him back any minute. He is trouble- you are young and naive (even if you don't realize it yet). RUN AWAY from him!! He is going to try to get you pregnant next so he can hook you into being a cushion for him and his messed up existence. That is what these guys do- they reel you in very quickly and try to get you pregnant so YOU will be dependant on HIM and not abandon him. Then he can have someone around for when he needs them, but will likely keep messing around with other 18 year olds behind YOUR back- until you are 30 (like me) and fed up enough to kick the bastard OUT!!! Only then you will have a kid(s) with him. Sucks. Just listen to me, please! I know this guy....

[Gigabitch]

Player? no. Parasite? Yes.

Everyone is laughing at you, honey. You just don't notice because you think it's flattering that this chode left his woman for you. It's not. It's gross.

[girl68]

Little one at 18 you are in NO place to tell yourself that you're capable of changing an addict. Nor are you old enough to move away from all those that care for you. And you're certainly not old enough to say that you want to marry a 30 year old deadbeat.

-Anyone else see her bf finding this thread here and then bashing all us for our judgements?

[LailaK]

Get far far FAR away!

You're so young Don't get involved with that MUCH older man and his issues.

Some things I've learned:

1) Never date anyone addicted to anything. You are not a nurse and can find someone with a lot less DRAMA
2) Never date a guy who left someone to be with you (ie you were the reason he left). What's to stop him from doing that to you. It's not a compliment, it doesn't mean he loves you. It's a ticking time bomb for your relationship.
3) If you are a grown up and he is a grown up neither of you should be living with your parents. May seem harsh in today's economy but if he's so broke he's living with his parents he should be working on getting his life together, not dating you.
4) If everyone you love is against your relationship, there's a good reason. Take the time to think about it.

Be smart. Run. Fast.

You know you're just a sexual play thing. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking us.

[Asip4u]

No really point even saying anything to an 18 year old with that type of mindset. She came here because she wanted to hear the "yes you should go for it" and anything else wasn't going to do it. Same shit, different day. Now she will learn the hard way.

[LailaK]

In addition, in the future, always assume EVERY guy is a player and act accordingly.

Not every guy is, but it's a good way to protect yourself from the ones who are.

[QueenofCorona]

I think he's very immature and is using you as an escape to not have to act his age. Living vicariously through your younger age. No woman his own age would want to date him. He needs to get his shit together.

Are you really happy living in a bedroom, far away from your family? At 18 years old your worries should be about how you did on your finals or what your plans are for Friday night. Don't waste your younger years on a guy like him.

[davidtorres]

He is graduating in May with an associates in Drafting.

If your going to date a 30yrs old, make sure he can support you, he has a house or his own apartment and have a career. Heck your 18. Its a give and take. You give him your youthfulness non stretch mark body and he supports you.

[Petit Papillon]

Why do I have the impression that this is another person who comes here to hear what they want to hear?
Honey if You're so sure he's a perfect match for You and he's a good guy and whatever then go,be with him,marry him and do him 15 kids. I don't understand why You come here and then disagree with people who try to give You a realistic advice.
Wake up kid or give us a break, lol.

[18inlove]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I understand everyones opinion and now that I am so attatched to him and moved far away I feel stuck. I guess I want to see how it plays out with him graduating in May and me working now and he did have a job the co. got downsized so he gets unemployment benefits. We are getting an apt soon. He is nice to me and cares for me alot. I know Im young and cant see the things everyone else does or I just dont care. If he is using me then why wouldnt he have just stayed with his ex who had expierience and money and a house? I guess thats what the BIG question is?

[Asip4u]

If he is using me then why wouldnt he have just stayed with his ex who had expierience and money and a house? I guess thats what the BIG question is?

If she has the money, house and everything, who do you think is in control here? She obviously didn't want anything to do with a guy who does drugs and has no job. So i don't even see that as being a question..It's too obvious. You being more like a kid to him..He knows you won't care what type of lifestyle he has, so he goes after you. Wake up 18!

[Petit Papillon]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I understand everyones opinion and now that I am so attatched to him and moved far away I feel stuck. I guess I want to see how it plays out with him graduating in May and me working now and he did have a job the co. got downsized so he gets unemployment benefits. We are getting an apt soon. He is nice to me and cares for me alot. I know Im young and cant see the things everyone else does or I just dont care. If he is using me then why wouldnt he have just stayed with his ex who had expierience and money and a house? I guess thats what the BIG question is?

Why he's doing it? Dunno, he could be psycho as well...

[girl68]

He's using you because you're young. His ex was 'old'. Actually I bet she was the one who was like grow up or I'm leaving. He thought whatever old bitch, I'll dump you first.