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Thread: uh oh. i think things aren't going good

  1. #1
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    uh oh. i think things aren't going good

    the thing is she says there's no problem. it just doesn't feel that way though. at first we were always so excited to see each other and now its like, whatever go out with your friends and i'll go out with mine. i really like this girl and she says she really likes me and so im open with her and i asked her if there was something wrong because i feel like there is. she said no. maybe im a bit paranoid, but even her tone of voice has changed on the phone. she seems a bit more distant and told me today that she was just giving me my space...all of a sudden she wants to give me space? im happy the way things were. 'giving me space' is a red flag right there.

    its just confusing because we still go out a few times a week and we still talk to each other every day or every other day but i don't know, it just doesn't feel the same. almost like shes doing it out of routine or habit to see me or call me. she doesn't seem as excited to see me or talk to me anymore and she continues to say stuff like "i can't wait to see you". before, i felt that she meant it and now it feels like she's just throwing those words around.

    even our conversations have kind of gotten stale. i keep trying to let her learn some things about me and stuff like that to keep it interesting and she just goes on and on and on about her day, and i don't mind, but at the same time its like tell me something new...

    i've changed my mind on 'things are going pretty good between us' to 'im expecting her to tell me its not working out' in a matter of a week. im not sure if i should end it or wait for her to do it.

    few things that im not sure about... is she just getting comfortable with me and the appeal of a new relationship is wearing off? I would understand that, but at least tell me or something, let me know. am i being paranoid? or am i right in thinking like this?

    we've been dating for about 6 weeks. we're both 21.

    i rushed this post, so the grammar and punctuation is off.
    Last edited by selke; 29-01-10 at 08:14 AM.

  2. #2
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    Six weeks IS a new relationship. Either bring up the specifics to her that you did in this post, or call it off. The fact that in your mind it's dwindling already isn't a good sign.

  3. #3
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    I've tried to talk to her about it but she said there was nothing wrong or no problems. It's not like I want to keep insisting on there being a problem, because that becomes a problem in itself. I just have a hard time believing her when she says that because her body language and tone and just the way she acts in general, compared to before, has changed.

  4. #4
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    From a guys perspective you're being too nice. STOP IT. This doesn't mean you don't treat her like a lady, it does mean you need to stop chasing after her with "are you ok? are we ok? is everything ok? are you upset? are we good?". Seriously I can't think of a faster way to chase of a girl than to do that. You're falling into the nice guy trap AFTER landing the girl which is weird. Stop putting her on a pedestal and just live like she is a part of your life, not the center of it and she'll respect you more. She wants to be with someone on equal footing or you're just like all the other guys she's dated before. When you guys first started flirting and getting along - be tat guy again.

    That would be my educated guess, she does like you, but you're becoming predictable and insecure. STOP IT. STOP trying to fix what you think is wrong because in all reality the only thing wrong is that you keep thinking something is wrong.

    Just one man's advice. Take it with a grain of salt and see what other posts roll in. best of luck!

    EDIT: Yes 6 weeks is well within the "infatuation" stage of a relationship. in all reality you guys might have learned everything there is about each other (or her about you) and now it's gotten a little stale. The fairy tale part of the relationship lasts typical up to 3-6 months, after that you're left with the real person and you'll decide at that point if you want to continue seeing them or no. Just a general rule of thumb it seems.
    Last edited by TheWizard; 29-01-10 at 04:26 PM.

  5. #5
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    the exsact thing happened to me. I said are u okay occaisonally not all the time though and she was like 'yeh its all cool' when clearly it wasnt. she even asked if i was goin to break up with me and when i said no she said she was glad. anyway thats what was on her mind and she was clearly thinking about it. a week later she dumped me by text. my relationship lasted exactly two months and it was 6 weeks when i started getting doubts. i waited to see if things would improve but then she dumped me. i would get out of there if i were you and do yourself a favour. ur young at 21 go find someone else it happens. its probably not what u want to here atm but it sounds like it would be for the best u sound like a nice guy who would fight for a relationship but girls dont think in a logical way most of the time

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