jealousy

[baxter]

First post ever:

A little background.

I am married to a woman 30 years younger than myself-now 56. From the beginning of our relationship she made it very clear that she would always want to remain friends with an ex boyfriend of some 4 years previous. They only were boyfriend girlfriend and sexually active together for a short time but became good friends after that.

I have had periods of jealousy as although I believe there is nothing physical going on between them I sometimes resent the level of contact they maintain. There is contact most days via msn, facebook, txt, phone and they see each other about once a week for and hour or two.

I know the chap and am trying to befriend him and we all meet up from time to time with him, us and his girlfriend but on a lot of occasions my wife insists they meet alone out and about or at his house. My wife has always disliked this chap’s wife in the first instance and now his new girlfriend now he is divorcing.

He is a known womaniser and has indulged in lying to different partners in the past, hence divorcing etc.

To her credit my wife is very straightforward and I belief it is just a strong friendship but still get niggling doubts and wonder if I am being brainwashed in to belief.

As an example I just found out she is taking him to the theatre and when I asked why I was not invited she got in a huff and said that she was going to go away to Amsterdam and Geneva with him and I would have to put up with that and trust her.
I do trust her but I worry about him.

When she gets mad at me if I raise any problem about him she gets vile and refers to ****ing him

I am looking for views from anyone who would care to comment as I have no one to talk to about this and my feelings as that would be to close to home for me. I got this idea indirectly from my wife as she posted her own mini poll on face book about jealousy.

Thanks in advance for your views

[kai]

First, why would you marry a girl who is 30 years younger than you? That's a BIG difference. Second, she's going to cheat on you.

[Lulu]

ooohhh- weird! I don't want to add to your mistrust- but what the ****? Why alone all the time? Why on trips without you?? Ugh. Kind of strange!

[tufty]

i wouldn't trust her as far as i could throw her - ask yourself this.... would she mind you meeting an ex of urs once a week, alone, for an hour or two? Would she let you go to geneva with someone else? What about you taking an ex to the theatre? Would she let you get vile and mention f***ing someone else if she made an issue out of it?

This is a very weird relationship if you ask me!

[tufty]

ermm i think i just responded to this somewhere else....

[Petit Papillon]

Yes tufty You did. OP I send You PM and told You to not post the same thread everywhere! I'm going to move the posts but don't do it again!

[Asip4u]

First post ever:

From the beginning of our relationship she made it very clear that she would always want to remain friends with an ex boyfriend of some 4 years previous. They only were boyfriend girlfriend and sexually active together for a short time but became good friends after that.

There is contact most days via msn, facebook, txt, phone and they see each other about once a week for and hour or two.

on a lot of occasions my wife insists they meet alone out and about or at his house. My wife has always disliked this chap’s wife in the first instance and now his new girlfriend now he is divorcing.

He is a known womaniser and has indulged in lying to different partners in the past, hence divorcing etc.

As an example I just found out she is taking him to the theatre and when I asked why I was not invited she got in a huff and said that she was going to go away to Amsterdam and Geneva with him and I would have to put up with that and trust her.
I do trust her but I worry about him.

When she gets mad at me if I raise any problem about him she gets vile and refers to ****ing him

Just go back and read some of the stuff you wrote. So clear that this guy is more important to her than you. Stand up for yourself and set her straight. If she won't listen, get the **** out.

[vashti]

I don't think the problem is that she goes on trips without you, but rather that she goes on trips with HIM.

Do you have kids with her? I hope not. Please don't make any. I don't see this lasting.