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Thread: Non-girl update, plus the new bus-girl...

  1. #1
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    Non-girl update, plus the new bus-girl...

    Warning - long post, read at own risk, 2nd post has a tl;dr

    First things first - I think I've finally got (most of) my heart out of that pesky non-relationship I told you about in another thread ([url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/37248-time-vent-out-my-non-relationship.html[/url]). I mean, I'm not over her. Not at all. But over the last few weeks I've convinced myself there's nothing there, the tone of our conversations has slowly made its way into basic meaningless chatting. And that's how it's staying.

    Lesson learned. Believe in actions rather than words. But there are still 2 things I resent: her not giving me a straight answer, not even a clean rejection, instead going for the "I don't know" in the last times I tried to discuss the content of our non-relationship (which frustrated me to hell, but anyway), and her not even giving me a 2nd chance to see her physically, which was downright wrong of her considering all the pretty words which now I can finally acknowledge as lies.

    So, what's next for my failure of a social life? Trying to get more women in the picture. Since I've entered college I've hardly met any of them. Physics is a man thing, at least here in Portugal, and my social contacts out of college are none. It was probably the lack of female acquaintances that made me fall so hard for non-girl, so I'm trying to change that step-by-step...

    There's this girl that often rides the same bus I do to go to college. Her drop-off spot is different from mine so the bus stop and the bus itself are the only places where I see her... but what gives me hope is that I actually managed to say her a few words before Christmas break - one day when there was a bus driver strike and we happened to be at the bus stop side by side, and I directed her a small complaint about "lazy bus drivers striking all the time"... she looked surprised for a split-second, then smiled and said "yeah".. then her cellphone rang and I couldn't follow up, we ended up walking away in different directions due to lack of bus.

    During Christmas break and exam season I've seen next to nothing of her, but today I had a stressful time... this time I found myself next to her on the bus, and I began wondering whether it'd be ok to try and talk to her, or just look at her... this ended up turning into a weird body movement game, with us both turning around and looking in different directions, me occasionally trying to make eye contact but not having the guts to actually complete the process - and without me being able to tell if she at some point tried to look at me or if she couldn't care less.

    So... I could use some help. I've never tried to contact a stranger like this before, and I just want to talk to her, without giving the impression I'm hitting on her - I believe in friends before, if, lovers, and I shouldn't even be fantasising about hitting on her when I know nothing about her. But there was another bus girl before - and I rode the bus with that one nearly everyday for about 2 years without being able to speak a single word to her, even though I wanted to. I don't want that to happen again this time, and I want to show myself I can do this, if nothing else. But I don't know what to say, and how to find the guts to say it.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by irrelevant_89; 06-02-10 at 11:22 PM.
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

  2. #2
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    I guess a tl;dr is in order. Sorry for bumping.

    There's a girl I ride the bus with, I wanna talk to her without it sounding like I'm hitting on her, and I don't know how. Suggestions would be appreciated, thanks. :]
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

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