Secret in love and really confused.

[Twist]

My first love.

A boy. A beautiful boy who I am deep in love with. He has dark blonde hair, blue eyes and a height that is just perfect to me.
He smells like Diesel. The perfume, you know. He is smart and wants to become an engineer. He is pretty good at sports too.
Did I mention that he is very talented in music? He can play the guitar, tuba, baritone trombone, a little bit piano, a little bit bass.
And in addition, he has the most fantastic personality. He is always smiling, like to help other people, non-smoker, tidy, caring, funny, nice++
Pretty amazing, huh?

It was love at first sight, basically. We started in the same class at a new school, August 2008. The first two days was like really hectic and there was a lot to do, so you didn't really have the time to speak to anyone. But the third day... August 20th. That was the first time we spoke. I remember it so well. I met him in the hallway, and he smiled to me, looked me in the eyes and said hi.
W O W.
His eyes. They were sparkling. And I've heard that the eyes are a reflection of our soul, and if that's a fact - he has gotta be perfect. My heart skipped a beat. When I came home from school that day, I thought about us. And I did the same thing the next day. And the day after that... And I'm still doing it. 536 days later.
We are friends now. We're almost sitting next to each other in the class room. He is smiling at me every day. I smile at him too. We talk. Not all the time, but some times. About school and stuff. Just random things. And the days keep going on like that.
Oh, and then there's a few exceptions. We danced together once - in gym class, laughing like crazy... But he was such a good dancer!
Last weekend we also went to see a basketball game, and we hung out for like 2 hours, watching the game, taking pictures and he shared his candy with me. Fun.
This weekend he was playing guitar at some local show/concert thing, and I was there watching him. And he smiled at me from the stage. When the show had a 15 minutes break, I was standing in the hallway and he passed me by, but then he noticed me and turn around and said Hi, with a big smile.
And we've accidental crashed into each other, and he was like "Omg, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. Are you ok? : )".
And he is always such a gentleman, opening the doors for me.
Anyways, since we are in almost all the same classes, we do a lot of things together.
So he is always nice and sweet to me and we are having a lot of good times together at school, but then again...some days we never speak. I've never chatted with him at MSN or facebook, I don't have his number. And we're not that close, really.
And I’ve just gotta tell you - this is no ordinary crush. I love this guy. I'm not going to give him up. I could do anything to make him happy. I would sacrifice myself for him. He has changed my life in so many positive ways. I've become a new, healthier, smarter and nicer person since I've met him. I want every little piece of him. I want him to love me back.
But I'm scared.
So scared of being rejected, that I don't know what to do. Everything's gotta be on time. I can't just show up at his house and say "Hi, I’m in love with you!”. Our "relationship" would be...I don't know... Destroyed?
It would be awkward for both of us.
He is too nice, and don't want to hurt me if he doesn't feel the same way. But he can't be too nice either (he would think), because he would probably feel that he's giving me false expectations. And the truth..I couldn't stand it if it's gonna be heartbreaking, because I love him that much. He is my oxygen.
I'm so confused.
Does he like me or not? If not - what should I do to make him fall in love with me? I think I know when the right time to say something is, but it's still way out of sight. The world is not ready for the truth yet.
I think I need some advice..
And I might sound narrow-minded, but I really don't want comments like "Ohh, it's never gonna happen!", "Just forget about him", "There are many fish in the sea". Those negative comments are so depressing, and I'm not going to let this whole situation end bad anyways... So just please don't be that negative.
I want to know everything I can do to make him mine one day.
PS. We're 17 years old, and I'm a little bit shy : )

[lonelyhamster]

I would say yes, he does like you. Although I don't know enough about his personality to judge, it's *possible* that he's treating you just like any other girl, but from what you said it seems like he's interested but either a) not enough so, or b) too shy, to act.
As far as what you should do, the most important thing is to hang out with him more. The more time you spend together, the more he'll realize how you feel.
Something else to do would be to (however awkward it may be) straight up ask him how he feels about you. Don't expect an immediate answer, by the way. But that's a good way to make him start thinking about you if he isn't already. That's how my current (first) relationship started, actually.
Is he also as shy as you are? Because in that case you will almost certainly need to make a first move. Shy guys are much bigger wimps (as per being open about feelings) than shy girls. I know because I am one, and 17 also.

The most important thing to do, even if you don't want to "make a move" yet, is to spend more time with him.

It's ironic, because your description of him more or less fits me. I was like, is this my girlfriend posting here? ...Except I'm not a sports person and , while I am musical, don't play those instruments... so I realized that it wasn't.

[Twist]

Thanks for answering me. I'll try to spend more time with him : )

[Twist]

I would like to get some more advices : )

[LoveHurts09]

u said u would do anything for him but u'd give up if he rejects u?
life is a risk, u have to take that chance or u will never be more then "what ifs" anyway, go for it but dont be so heavy, just cos u really like him u have to let him (and u) start from the beginning if u start dating.