GETTING OVER IT, how do you do it?

[NewToLove]

Hi.. I've recently been heart broken.. I thought she was the one.. she was it until she changed. I need to get over it.

I want to know how you people cope with it.. please I need all the advice i can get, I love the girl, but it's not healthy for me. someone please help me!!

Im thinking about working/hanging out with friends/read more/date other girls

what do you guys/gals think?

[cmacattack1]

We try and find a way that hopefully doesn't hurt our chances in the future. If you weren't begging and chasing after her, you are off to a good start. Tell us about the relationship in through and honest detail if it left you very confused. Understanding will help you in the long run.

[NewToLove]

We fell in love with each other.. in 3 months time.

Then we couldn't see each other much for the next 3 weeks, like 30 minutes total time every day, and they are split... 3 minutes there, 5 minutes there.. no private time at all... high school hehe.

Then we slowly kinda grew apart. She was deciding where to go to college, and i was bottling up my feelings for her.

First we applied to the same college, hoping to continue the relationship, but then hen she decided to go to a different college after high school, where it is impossible to have a relationship with me.

She told me she still wants to be with me for the time being, i felt totally used and abused.. she wants the comfort of me but doesn't give me what I deserve in exchange.

She says she wants to meet new people after college, doesn't want commitment to me, and wants to go to a school best for her.

I explained to her I didn't want a strong commitment and I wanted to have a real relationship, not some high school puppy lovey dovey shit.

She said that if i were to follow her to school, she would be obligated to be with me... and would feel tied down.

She did not want me to follow her to school, I was trying to understand this.. but if you're in love you don't easily understand....

She ignored me, even after i texted her saying "I understand now"

She claims she didn't have anything to say to me, she said she was tired of the drama, and me talking about the future all the time.

So she brought up about taking a break, and so I agreed to it. So now we're taking a break. So is that a breakup? or just time off? I don't know..

Is she trying to move on? or trying to figure out if she wants to be with me until high school ends.

My heart is still torn and bleeding.. I was in love and dedicated... promise rings.. love poems.. serenades.. quality time spent with her.. everything.. but she doesn't seem to appreciate.. I hope she strongly regrets letting me go.

She's a bitch and I want to move on.. help! I love her so much and I did so much...

[iateyourcookie]

For me, I just busied myself with anything that doesn't involve my ex. Find a new hobby that would take your mind off her. I know it's tough going through a break-up, but everyone goes through it in one point of their life. Good luck.

[NewToLove]

For me, I just busied myself with anything that doesn't involve my ex. Find a new hobby that would take your mind off her. I know it's tough going through a break-up, but everyone goes through it in one point of their life. Good luck.

The thing is.. my life was so centered around her, I don't know how to change it...

When I wake up. I think about how she would look like when I open my eyes and see her sleeping soundly next to me

When I listen to music, i always relate to her.

When I do things, I always wonder about if she would like/dislike/mind the things i do

When I go to sleep, i fantasize about her and close the closet cause it's her pet peeve

When I sleep i dream about her.. how can i have another dream about her last night... she just broke up with me... it hurts so badly... and i see her everyday in Homeroom, she sits 2 feet away from me.

[MetalPhoenix]

The thing is.. my life was so centered around her, I don't know how to change it...

When I wake up. I think about how she would look like when I open my eyes and see her sleeping soundly next to me

When I listen to music, i always relate to her.

When I do things, I always wonder about if she would like/dislike/mind the things i do

When I go to sleep, i fantasize about her and close the closet cause it's her pet peeve

When I sleep i dream about her.. how can i have another dream about her last night... she just broke up with me... it hurts so badly... and i see her everyday in Homeroom, she sits 2 feet away from me.

I can't really explain it, but I've found a way to ignore certain feelings I have towards a person. I've been able to get by the whole "being in love" just by setting my mind on something different. It will, however, take a lot of time.
If you find yourself thinking about her, then try to do something completly different. A hobby that requires a lot of time can really help with this.

I must say that it took years and a number of bad experiences, before I was completly able to be like this

[QueenofCorona]

Im thinking about working/hanging out with friends/read more/date other girls

Do it. It hurts now but won't forever. Keep yourself busy and occupied.

[NewToLove]

I have kept myself pretty busy today, turns out we're not broken up yet.. but I think she plans to do it tomorrow after school in my car in person. cause she texted me saying "I want to do it in person" when i asked if she wanted to talk on the phone.

So I basically just went about my own business, school, me and friends ditched 6th period to a free lunch offered at Denny's today! woot!! like 5 of us in mah car.

Then I worked until 6:30 before getting home and i finally texted her to ask if she wanted to talk things out.

So whether she breaks up with me or not.. I have no control, but thing is.. I'm starting to learn how to distract myself.

[Spaz1one1]

Just make sure you show no weakness if she does decide to break up with you.
Be mature, talk things out perhaps, and agree with the breakup and accept the fact that it's probably for the best right now.
If the break up bothers you, then you can say it does, but please, don't show desperation and neediness. Cause that's what I did, and let me tell you, it's actually the WORST thing you can do. And if you don't believe me, ask anyone else on this forum. I had to learn the hard way. Literally EVERYONE told me the above ^ . I didn't listen cause I was like "Shit, they don't even know how I feel, they don't know what I'm going through . This breakup is so much different from everyone elses". Seems like they were all right. And now I'm sitting here trying to move on, extremely sad. While she's out there having the time of her life.

[cmacattack1]

This is a tough transition period for many relationships and most don't make it. We are growing up, and going in separate directions. You can't blame her for wanting to go to a school that's best for her. She's working towards a future and a career for herself, and if she gives that enough effort, it will be more stable than any long distance relationship you can have with her. You should always put yourself and what you want to do over a relationship, because even if you put in the best effort and bend over backwards to make it work, it has to on both ends. It doesn't sound like it's coming from her end. And then where will you be, without her?

You can't make her the center of your universe because without her, you are nothing. You are your own person and you have your own life to live.

As for getting her out of your head, yeah, not being broken up and on break or whatever isn't going to help. It needs to be like a band-aid. Right off. The more you are in contact with her, the more you see her, the more you are waiting and wondering, the more it's going to eat you up inside. After the breakup occurs, which seems inevitable, take some time for you and do things that make you happy.

[NewToLove]

Just make sure you show no weakness if she does decide to break up with you.
Be mature, talk things out perhaps, and agree with the breakup and accept the fact that it's probably for the best right now.
If the break up bothers you, then you can say it does, but please, don't show desperation and neediness. Cause that's what I did, and let me tell you, it's actually the WORST thing you can do. And if you don't believe me, ask anyone else on this forum. I had to learn the hard way. Literally EVERYONE told me the above ^ . I didn't listen cause I was like "Shit, they don't even know how I feel, they don't know what I'm going through . This breakup is so much different from everyone elses". Seems like they were all right. And now I'm sitting here trying to move on, extremely sad. While she's out there having the time of her life.

Thanks for the Heads up, but right now, I am not sure what is going on, I do want to talk things out maturely, yes, what she picked was the smartest thing to do, and yes I was clingy and desperate for her, but now I realized that there's no point crying over spilled milk. So I'm just gonna be straightfoward with how i feel and hopefully she will too and then if things don't meet an agreement, then talk time is over, time to walk it out.

This is a tough transition period for many relationships and most don't make it. We are growing up, and going in separate directions. You can't blame her for wanting to go to a school that's best for her. She's working towards a future and a career for herself, and if she gives that enough effort, it will be more stable than any long distance relationship you can have with her. You should always put yourself and what you want to do over a relationship, because even if you put in the best effort and bend over backwards to make it work, it has to on both ends. It doesn't sound like it's coming from her end. And then where will you be, without her?

You can't make her the center of your universe because without her, you are nothing. You are your own person and you have your own life to live.

As for getting her out of your head, yeah, not being broken up and on break or whatever isn't going to help. It needs to be like a band-aid. Right off. The more you are in contact with her, the more you see her, the more you are waiting and wondering, the more it's going to eat you up inside. After the breakup occurs, which seems inevitable, take some time for you and do things that make you happy.

Yes, I do want her in my life, she's probably the most bitchiest girl I've ever met, also cold and heartless, but I love her regardless. If we do stay together, I'm gonna use her to be strong, even though I love her, I'll learn not to give in to her, I'll stick up for myself, and every time I fail, I'll punish myself someway.. definitely not physical, I'll just have a conscience that tells me i did something wrong. So whatever happens happens, It'll make me stronger and better prepared for future relationships to come.