I'm in a serious relationship but I feel like I need more

[lostdude]

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now and I really love her. I feel like she's the one for me.

But I'm also young (22) and I feel kind of trapped by the relationship, because I don't envision it ending. The problem is that there are other girls out there that I want to have sex with and I don't know how to deal with it, but I feel very repressed. Sex with my girlfriend is fine but I feel this biological instinct to need to have sex with other women. I will NEVER cheat on her but I want to hear experiences of other people in the same position, as to how I should go about this.

thanks

[tufty]

how you should 'go about this'.... are you asking us how you should go about sleeping with other women? If you are - i won't/can't be much help

[Peter Pry]

You could ask for permission.

[lostdude]

I'm asking for advice - I want to know if others have been in this position and does the feeling pass? Or is there something wrong with the relationship? Should I speak to her about it etc.

[vashti]

Obviously, if you want to sleep with other girls and maintain your moral standing, you will have to break off with your GF or get her permission to sleep around.

For the record, I don't thik the desire to have sex with other people EVER goes away, and I doubt your girlfriend hasn't experienced some of the same thoughts.

[lostdude]

You could ask for permission.

My friend suggested this. The problem is that it'd be a double standard because I would never want her to do the same thing, and obviously if I asked, it would have to become an open relationship and the rules would apply for both of us. But I don't want that of course.

[tufty]

whats good for the goose...is good for the gander - as the saying goes

[lostdude]

God, I can't imagine all the sorts of issues that must come up in an open relationship. Sounds like a nightmare.

[Peter Pry]

My friend suggested this. The problem is that it'd be a double standard because I would never want her to do the same thing, and obviously if I asked, it would have to become an open relationship and the rules would apply for both of us. But I don't want that of course.

Then you're going to have to learn to be faithful despite your attractions. Either that or break up. No, there is nothing wrong with the relationship. Being in one doesn't stop you from being human.

[IndiReloaded]

You are too young to settle at 22. Frankly, there is much more to a relationship than sex, but its natural to want to sow your oats so perhaps the timing for this will mean you let her go.

[Lite]

Either the sex is satisfying and interesting, or it isn't. If it isn't, then you're not sexually compatible with her and you should just move on.

Feeling like you should end a relationship because you want to sleep with other women before you die is really kind of stupid. Either the relationship is a good one, or it isn't. If it's a good one, and you want committal, you have to give up the freedom of sticking your penis in any woman that is willing. If you don't want that you need to break up with her and stop wasting her time so that she can find someone who IS interested in staying with her.

[lostdude]

I think I just needed to hear these things.

Lite, I don't see the need to call my thoughts stupid. I didn't troll anyone, I've been polite and sincere. Just think that was uncalled for.

[Gigabitch]

Lite is allowed to say he thinks that idea is stupid. He didn't say YOU were stupid, just your idea. I doubt he's the only one who will think this and frankly, you should hear this. Your IRL friends won't be so straight-up with you, but they might think the same thing.

In my opinion, you're too young to be in a serious relationship that might preclude having sex with anyone else, ever. I don't think I'd be able to fully trust a guy that hadn't gotten a lot of curiosity out of his system. You say you'd never cheat on her NOW, but if you stay with her forever and have a mid-life crisis, you could end up doing something really hurtful and destructive when you're older.

[lostdude]

So I should just break up with her? I don't think that's the solution either

[DarkNeko]

I've had similar feelings...I love my boyfriend and I do feel he's the one for me, but I occasionally wonder what'd it be like to have sex with another man, especially since my BF is the only guy I have ever had sex with.

My advice? There's nothing wrong with fantasizing about the women you want to have sex with. You don't need to break up, unless the urge to have sex with other women is just too overpowering and you just don't want to be with your girlfriend any longer because she doesn't fulfill your needs. And that doesn't sound like the case...yet. In my experience, the feeling comes and goes, but never fully disappears.