When to Quit

[girl68]

I'd disagree with 1 lie and it being over. But that's just me. But repeatedly lying- no way, no chance.

[Perryville]

If they will lie once, they will lie twice, why give them the chance?

[Perryville]

You do understand that I'm talking about real lies, not innocent fibs , like a surprise B-day party, or X-mas present. When I say lie, I'm talking about intent to deceive.

[girl68]

So Perry you have NEVER told a lie?

I guess it depends what they're lying ABOUT. In my opinion yeah the subject of lie does matter. At least for me I take that into consideration.

Like I know I'll be flamed: I certianly was in my thread about it. To be brief: Guy from work asks to go out for Friday beers. 'Round here that's a regular thing. It's a group thing guys, gals, singles, married. Anyays I accept. Then I find out the regulars aren't coming- it will be just me and some dude. Crap, I think. So I ask his friend who is also my friend if he might think this is a date. She says yes. I think crap again. So me not wanting to be all like "you know I have a bf riiight?" snotty. I sneak in a "can't stay long I have to go to XXX with the bf". So I said it. Anyways. I asked if I should tell my bf that I'm going for beers and if I need to say with whom. At the end of the day I told my bf that I was meeting up with my bff (wait, before you go off let me finish). I had plans the WHOLE time to meet up with my bff after these beers. When the time comes to leave I realize I can't drive I'm drunk. I end up not going to see my bff. I never told my bf I didn't see her and that I went on these beers with this co-worker. Note: for all the folks who though I was a cheating whore. Not a damn thing happend, nor did he try.

Anyways yeah I lied. Yeah I could be busted. Yeah he'd be pissed- rightfully so. No, I'm not going to tell. Now did I do wrong? Yeah. Do I regret it? NO.

[SealedWithAKISS]

Generally speaking, we all lie. For me, lying about core issues is not acceptable while lying about a surprise party is acceptable. Personally, I don't lie about who I am, what I belive, actions I have taken.

I hold myself accountable for my actions. When I meet people who hold themselves accountable for their actions, I usually find truthfulness.

[Perryville]

Of course I've lied, but I haven't in a while, and not to the new GF. This is one issue we are in complete agreement on.

[SealedWithAKISS]

So Perry you have NEVER told a lie?

Anyways yeah I lied. Yeah I could be busted. Yeah he'd be pissed- rightfully so. No, I'm not going to tell. Now did I do wrong? Yeah. Do I regret it? NO.

And if this was done to you, would you add this to the list of reasons to quit the relationship?

I am asking for when people would call it quits.Lying is certainly a sound reason to call it quits and for some it is one (as defined). We all have different tolerance levels based on personal values.

[girl68]

If he did the EXACT same thing and I found out. I would be pissed. But I would later find out why he lied (which was not to cause drama) and that nothing happened and that if in the future he wants to go out with another lady friend he'd better tell the truth, she'd better be aware of his marital status and I in return will promise to trust and not knot my panties over a harmless little outting. If he lied again that's when shit REALLY hits the fan...

Basically he's allowed to screw up. Once, maybe twice, 3 times depending on about what. But to be lying continuously after a whole year. God hell no. That just means she's not learning, not trying and certainly isn't remorseful.

[Perryville]

Screw-ups are when he adds incorrectly at the store, or runs up the light bill, or backs over the curb. Deceit is a character flaw and can rarely be fixed. This person is a loser.

[SealedWithAKISS]

Thank you all for your honest feedback. Guess I should look for a book on how to avoid or date misfits. Ha Ha.