what do we do wrong??

[florencia]

I've been flirting/seing this guy for a while now. I an not really good at relationships as I have been badly scarred from past ones so I am a bit hesitant. Still, I went to his place, had a lovely lunch and then cuddled in a great nap. His phone went off, and I don't know why I got scred that something "big" miht happen and decided to leave. As soon as I got home I texted him saying what a great time I had and I did tell him to text me when he would be around so we sould see each other again. That was 2 weeks ago. I have texted him twice just being chatty and friendly and no reply. nothing. I know I should have stayed but that's why I texted him I thought.. I don't know. Have I lost him? Should I do something else? Maybe there's another girl and that's why...
any advice would be helpful.

[mrtdg82]

Can you elaborate a little?

How long had/have you been seeing him for?
To what extent did your relationship go i.e did you sleep together?
What time did you leave his house? Elaborate on how you left.

On what youve said so far its a little tricky.

[florencia]

I've known him for over a year. Nothing ever happened before. a Bit of flirting but then the flirting got serious. We are both shy I but I guess if the phone hadn't rung he would have ended up kissing me. We haven't slept together no, we haven't even kissed!!! I got there by lunchtime and left about 5.30. As I said the phone rang and I said I should leave because he leaves quite far and I wa on my bike. He didn't say anything. We just said good bye as usual, I told him to let me know when he was around london so we could see each other, kiss kiss, hug hug and thats it. I made sure to etxt him once I got home but got no reply.

that enough?

[mrtdg82]

Strange one this... I take it you live far apart then? And why would you leave if the phone rang? If the phone rang normally then would you leave?

How old are you both?

Sorry about all the questions just im trying to work out how it all come about so i can guess his mindset. Maybe he lost his phone or maybe he just isnt interested. Its a difficult one to work out.

[florencia]

No, if the phone rang I wouldn't. I just freaked out. As I said, I am not good at relationships. I had not a bad, but an awful one before so I am scared of letting people love me again. I guess I saw the phone call and the nightfall coming in as an excuse to go. we are both in our late 20's. I thought he would have lost his interest but can that happen so sudden? if he lost his phone he could use facebook. I don't know. it puzzles me. I know I am tricky but I have shown interest in going there and texting him. He cuddled me, held my hand and all and now no contact???? I don't know his friends so I do not know whats going on on that field either... too tricky???
thank you so much though :~)

[Mish]

That was 2 weeks ago. I have texted him twice just being chatty and friendly and no reply. nothing. I know I should have stayed but that's why I texted him I thought.. I don't know. H

I think let it be for awhile, don't chase him. If he's not interested then there won't be much you can do to change his mind.

[mrtdg82]

No, if the phone rang I wouldn't. I just freaked out. As I said, I am not good at relationships. I had not a bad, but an awful one before so I am scared of letting people love me again. I guess I saw the phone call and the nightfall coming in as an excuse to go. we are both in our late 20's. I thought he would have lost his interest but can that happen so sudden? if he lost his phone he could use facebook. I don't know. it puzzles me. I know I am tricky but I have shown interest in going there and texting him. He cuddled me, held my hand and all and now no contact???? I don't know his friends so I do not know whats going on on that field either... too tricky???
thank you so much though :~)

If he is on facebook can you not contact him on there? Or at least see what his up to? facebook is really good for that. Im not a fan of guys who do that however, if this was the first time you went over then my guess is that he was hoping for more then a cuddle. When he didnt get that and you left he didnt see the point. Again, this is just an opinion.

[florencia]

tried facebook.. he's not really good at posting stuff and then, I have texted him twice this week, don't want to harrass him (would it be harrasment if I do post something on facebook?). Maybe you're right but then if he's known me for a year he should know more than that...

thank you very much though at least I can have a blokes opinion

[mrtdg82]

As a policeman i can tell you it isnt harrassment, well.... not quite anyway. Not if you just left a message. And id be very disapointed if he went to the police with that!!!

Anything to help a fellow londoner.

[dewilliams2]

Just send him a message and say, I haven't talked to you for a while...are you okay...don't put on like your concerned about what happened, just act like your worried he might be sick and that your concerned. If he doesn't get in touch with you then either he is avoiding you or there really is something going on...I mean maybe he has just been busy.

Honestly though if replies to your message don't be afraid to ask him out yourself. If he is shy like you say maybe he is a little embarrassed about what happened and he thinks you left because you don't like him....by you asking him out it shows that you are interested and builds his confidence back up a bit.

[elizabeth412]

Your "odd" behavior in the beginning may have been all it took for him to leave you at bay. I would not attempt to contact him at all. What would your explanation be, after all, if you were to communicate with him again? You have to consider that.