One of those, does he like me, posts!

[willow mama]

Okay, hopefully this won't be too long, and this story is real, i didn't make it up even though i swear it feels like i have been through a soap opera this past year.

I was a mom of two children, worked two jobs and had a live-in boyfriend of four years. i also went to college! Just to let you know upfront, i am a very hardworking, nice and friendly person and a great mother. I met another dad hiking one day, and well to make a long story short (and take away alot of the romantic parts and sad parts) i ended things with my long term bf and started falling in love with this new man. Two months into it, my lease is up, the kids all get along and love each other (he has three i have two) and so we decide that i should move into his four bedroom home....i do want to say, if i wasn't a single mother who had to work so much, this wouldn't have been an option as i wouldn't have done that to my kids so fast. But i was literally taking care of myself and my kids with no help...so money was tight.

a month later, we find out i am pregnant. Both our faults. We are of course shocked but make plans. Then he gets laid off...and then, to my surprise, he has to go to rehab (this is all happening in a month mind you)...i only saw him drink once at the beg. of our relationship and we got into a little fight because i just wanted to sleep and he thought i was mad, and started crying, etc...it was horrible and he drove my car and put it in a ditch! i had never been with someone who had an alcohol problem...and then he has kept this from me...that he has done this before...he is an amazingly handsome smart man...so, he goes to rehab and i am left with this worry about what the hell did i just get my kids and myself into...so, i ran off to the ex's house and then proceeded to move 2000 miles away from the father of my baby. While he was in rehab.

fast forward 6 months later or so. I have the baby and he is beautiful. I have had no contact with his father, but i dream of him all the time, think about him and his kids, wish i had stayed. So i send him a letter with pictures of the baby...and we get back into contact. the first night we texted we talked about the baby and how beautiful he was, and then he asked me out on a date when i got back (i am moving back home so he can see his baby). Two months go by (i am saving up money at this time to get aplace of my own) and he texts me every morning, asks me how the baby and i are doing, etc... and sometimes brings up sleeping together again talking about how good our sex life was, how it ws kick ass and i was the best, etc....

This is where it gets really stressful again for me: (and i think there are deeper issues with me and having t have a relationship going at all times that maybe i could figure out one day! LOL) I had the live-in ex of four years on my account...i had deposited every single cent of my earnings into that account and saved up 11,000 in ten months so that i could stay at home with the baby and have a place of my own and not work insane hours, but also not have to live with any man. Well the ex boyfriend i guess owed 22,000 dollars in back support (after we broke up he kinda got depressed and got fired from his job) and the govt. took it all. I am fighting that and might get some of my money back...but then the father of my baby, offers to drive out to pick me up, move all three kids and me back into his home and let us stay with him. He seems really excited about it too.

My friends back home said that he was heartbroken for months when i left and walked around asking people if they had heard from me. I am so scared to like this guy...because i more then like him i love him...and i am afraid to get hurt...I have always been in a relationship...i have never been alone....in my adult life.

so, my question is...after i wrote this all, i guess he does like me and wants to try again. But why am i freaking out? What is wrong with me? Is it because i am scared to fall in love? I mean, he is amazing....he went through rehab (he stopped drinking entirely after our fight because the drunk him scared me so much....) but i don't want to see him drink again...does he really love me?

sorry, i guess i hsould find a diary and write in it...instead of bothering you all...but maybe someone can give me some insight into my questions!

he is coming in a week. he will meet his baby boy. I am going to cry. Is it okay to believe it might work? I worry because sometimes when i text him in the afternoon in response to hs texts he doesn't text back. But maybe he is tired because he works 13 hour shifts and has full custody of his three kids...am i being a worrywart?

thanks

[QueenofCorona]

I think you two need to communicate with eachother, not through friends or heresay. For Pete's sake, you've got a kid together and a mess of kids each, and he has a drinking problem. If you two are even going to attempt to make a go of ANY relationship you better start being honest and upfront with eachother. I'd recomment therapy for both of you and the kids. Way too many ups and downs and people coming in and out of their short lives. You obviously have issues where you feel you need a man in your life. Learn to live for yourself, not a man. A man doesn't make you whole or a better woman.

That being said, I'm sure he cares for you. You'll have to ask him if he loves you.

[willow mama]

I think you two need to communicate with eachother, not through friends or heresay. For Pete's sake, you've got a kid together and a mess of kids each, and he has a drinking problem. If you two are even going to attempt to make a go of ANY relationship you better start being honest and upfront with eachother. I'd recomment therapy for both of you and the kids. Way too many ups and downs and people coming in and out of their short lives. You obviously have issues where you feel you need a man in your life. Learn to live for yourself, not a man.

oh, i totally agree about the communication. And I know this sounds really Jerry Springer-y... I am normally not like this, i was married for eight years and am very good friends with my exhusband and love his new wife. My children are in gifted and have adapted amazingly well to everything---they are the types of kids people who hate kids love LOL...i swear. I am blessed, but i am also a very playful fun and loving mother...sometimes to the detriment of myself (I am a preschool director and so being with children is my career choice and my love)...and i agree about the ups and downs in my children's lives. That is what i feel the worst about. But we told the kids together and they are all excited to be back living together. I am working on my master's degree in Education...i normaly have a very stable life, but then this happened.

he has mentioned that he is looking forward to driving back with me because we have alot to "catch up" on (understatement of the year lol) and that we can work out some of our stuff.

Thanks for responding so fast.