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Thread: She dumped me, but unsure why?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    She dumped me, but unsure why?

    Ok I dated a girl for 3-4 weeks a couple of months ago. She is 22 and I'm 26 and we met through 2 mutual friends (who are both seeing each other)

    First 3 dates were great. We kissed a little on the 2nd date, then propperly on the 3rd date (however she would pull away sooner than I hoped). I paid for the cinema (3rd date) tickets in advance, even though we agreed that she'd pay, since I paid for dinner on the 2nd date. 1st and 2nd date she'd text me straight away saying she'd had a lovely evening, but the 3rd she didn't, so I text her first saying I loved her company that night and she replied with "It was a nice night, have a good day at work".

    4th date I go round hers for a DVD, which had already been discuseed on the 3rd date. (other 3 dates I arranged) I Brought her a small bunch of roses. We kissed and cuddled but nothing else happened whilst watching the film. I decided not to take things to the bedroom that night. So I ended up leaving that night - It just didn't feel the right time and didn't want to risk anything.
    She text me later that night saying the roses were beautiful and thankyou.

    2 days later me, her and the 2 mutual friends go out for the day. Here she was really distant and weird with me - barely spoke to me all day. Later she text me saying sorry she had been distant with me, wasn't sure how she was feeling and what's happening between us. Also that she didn't want to mess me around cos I was "so nice".

    I asked If I had done anything wrong and she text me saying I hadn't and that I was lovely. I told her that I wasn't in a rush and was taking things slowly with her. She said that was cool with her.

    Next 2 dates she cancelled on and when I next saw her (which ended up being for the final time), she wouldn't ket me kiss as she had an apparent 'chest infection - why invite me round then?

    An hour after I left she text me saying she just wanted to be friends, thought I was lovely but only saw me as a friend. Said it wasn't cos I wasn't her type, but that she didn't feel a spark and that it felt like we were meeting as friends. Again I said I was taking things slowly, but said I was ok with being friends if that was what she wanted.

    My friends say she can be weird and very moody - hot 'n' cold. She did send me some odd texts, very short 'n' sharp. We never spoke on the phone as I wanted to save the convo. for the dates.

    Her interest level in me nose dived after the DVD night so would this have been because we didn't get intimate/have sex that night?

    We seemed to get on really well, but she was difficult to read, which I told her after she went distant with me. I was being more cautious with her which I do admit, but that was because I actually 'liked' this girl, even though I don't think I made it obvious. Surely if she dumped me purely cos we didn't get intimate/have sex at a certain point, I'm better off without her? I was thinking what's the rush and never thought for 1 minute that she'd go weird afer I left that night.

    Ive been in no contact and haven't heard from her in 2 months, although I will hear and possibly see of her occasionally through the 2 mutual friends, likewise she will for me.

    Girls opinions' greatly appreciated, thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Ah, the good ol' 'friends' line - sorry, it just means she ain't interested. Maybe you aren't her type, that she isn't attracted to you or perhaps she has simply found somebody else or has returned to ex after a spot of rebound dating, you need to forget her and move on, after all it was only a handful of dates. Sorry if that's a tad harsh!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    Thanks for reply Jas

    Any other opinions?

    On the DVD night she did initiate some contact, but only holding my hand. Her friend was due home later and other people were around the house. We watched it in the living room. I also had work early in the morning so I just thought this isn't the night to get too intimate.
    2 days later though she was all distant and weird. Surely not getting more intimate on the DVD night wouldn't have put her off? Even though she gave me the nice guy speech in a text, I was a challenge to her and showed that I'm confident.
    Surely if she really wanted me, all that wouldn't have mattered??

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    You can read into it all you want to, thinking that there is something there, but when you got the "let's be friends line" it was her trying to let you off easy. She doesn't want to say "I don't want to see you and I don't care if we see each other again". Sounds mean right?

    Don't be the first to assume that something was wrong on your part. Everybody is different and everybody has their own tastes. One person's opinion doesn't necessarily make it right either. I know you want to improve yourself but she's already not be honest with you by trying to be nice .

    Not getting intimate didn't ruin things for you. Girls don't really care what happens if they like you. They will wait, they will be patient they will do whatever. She didn't feel it, she lost interest, and didn't want to hurt you because you are a nice guy. Sounds like you started to like her. Sorry man, you are going to have to try with the next one.
    Waking up next to a beautiful girl,
    Step outside and say hello to my beautiful world.

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