Girlfriend takes her frustration out on me.

[theguy]

I posted the text below a few days ago, and I just realized something. You dont need to real everything below, because it all sums up that my girlfriend takes her daily stress, problems and frustration out on me. I always get the blunt end of it, and only when she has a really good day do I get to enjoy our time together. I have talked to her about this before and when she cried and told me how sorry it was it got a little better. However today, just like every other day she gets mad at me for things that didnt go right in her day, for example she didnt get the counter job today after her interview, and started talking about how she will never get a job after she graduated and got really frustrated and everything I said she took wrong, I tried to hug her and it was like a stiff board. What do I do to make myself stay sane and not become that 40 yr old man who drinks a beer on the sofa and has trained himself to ignore her as shes bitching at him the entire time.

1 in a half years ago I met my current girlfriend. She and I hit it off instantly and just loved being with each other. We progressed steadily with our feelings, expressing that we loved each other 3 months in. She left in January, for a study abroad trip and was gone for 6 months. We talked every day on the webcam.

Come april, while she was still studying abroad we had our first argument. We argued because of the frustration of nothing new to say but we didnt want to hang up because we missed each other. Things got a little better and I flew to go see her in May..

She was different. The entire time we were there she was moody, angry upset. We fought, I felt trapped because before when she was in a bad mood i could go home, in this case I was stuck in a foreign country with nowhere to go, I was forced to sit there an deal with it. The last day I was there we patched things up, and looked forward to seeing each other again in a 1.5 months.

She wasnt the same on the phone anymore though. She would act really excited to hear from me at first, but then got angry and snappy at me for the smallest things.

When she got back from her trip, we would hang out as much as we could. Yet she was constantly moody. She would get frustrated with me over nothing. We would end up in a fight and I just without noticing had been slowly weened into it. Where I never would have put up with her constantly being moody before, I just accepted it and had grown used to it as if it was normal now.

We started school together again and she would get mad at me for anything. I told her three days in advance that I was going to spend saturday with some old friends. Come saturday, it was not okay as she showed up and complained that I didnt want to spend time with her. It turned into such a big deal that I havent spent a day with just the guys since. She stays at my house every night, and sometimes I get a feeling just like old times. She is sweet, fun loving, nice and affectionate. However these days are pretty rare.

Our sex life when we first got together was amazing, balanced and fulfilling. When she would pleasure me it felt like nothing mattered but us, and she enjoyed making me feel good just as much as I enjoyed it. Now she just says well im not really in the mood, and just makes me cum to cum, dont really feel the love because she used to get into it and now it feels about the same as if I did it myself.

I finally told her a month ago, after she was being moody as hell during the super bowl. She was pissed off the entire time she sat and watched it with me (why didnt she just do something on her own?) complaining about me talking football during the commercial, making snappy comments lie ("thanks I couldnt hear that because of you"). So i snapped I told her this is rediculous your constantly pissed off, Its miserable when your angry all the time and I cant handle it if this is going to be what it is. She started to cry and told me how sorry she was and laid down on my chest and sobbed. (I felt horrible)

She then confessed that when studying abroad she started to get this horrible irrational thought that makes no sense to anyone but her. She said she constantly feels like everything she worked for is going to dissapear that she has this fear that she will never see her family or friends or me again, that something is going to take it all away and knows it sounds dumb but it is constantly in her head and she cant get rid of it.

I comforted her and have been trying to enjoy the relationship since then, hoping for a new start. I feel broken though, as if putting up with the lack of intimacy, the mood swings and now this thought problem have worn me down. I think shes a beautiful girl, one of the best looking i have ever been with. Yet I just feel like i am going through the motions now and I really want to fix it.

I feel lost like I don't have an identity as if I am age 22 and just cant figure out where I am in life. Its really tough for me right now, and If I broke it off with her, I feel like I would regret it forever, because I think maybe that I am overlooking something. I just dont know what to do anymore and am losing my grip on things. I really could use anything you've got say everyone... and will really appreciate in comments.

Last edited by theguy; 23-02-10 at 02:21 AM.

[QueenofCorona]

I'd say talk to her again. Let her know you are not happy and don't see a future together and you WILL NOT condone this behavior any longer should she continue to use you as her emotional punching bag. Let her know you aren't playing, you need to see action on her part, not tears. You can offer up suggestions to help her refocus her negative energy...buy her an actual punching bag, offer to go to the gym with her, offer to help find her a therapist but its on her to actually step up to the plate.

[davidtorres]

i think shes BIPOLAR. you need to find another girl. just break up with her and save yourself. let her find her own kind

[theguy]

Is it true that we should be friends if we ever expect to be happily married. Because I don't think that we are. I love our intimate moments, but I can never get her to play games with me or try anything new for that matter. I suggested ice skating for hell sake, a generally female friendly sport and got a no. I suggested kayaking I got a no. I suggested we take a trip to peru and visit Machu Pichu, I got a no. Maybe we can become friends somehow.. is there anyway this is possible?

[SirWagginston]

Your girlfriend reminds me of my sister. My sister has anger management problems.

I think you have no alternative but to get your girlfriend to seek counseling, with your full support. You could even attend some sessions with her if the psychologist believes that will help. The "thought" she had during her study abroad is a little bit of her misunderstood feelings leaking out, which is healthy. If she can't learn to express the majority of her feelings that way, living with her will be completely impossible.

The psychologist might refer her to a doctor or psychiatrist, who will prescribe her something. Do all you can to get her to cooperate. This is what happened to my sister, and she got a lot better. My battle-scarred testicles thank her doctor every day.

[theguy]

or do you think this is just a sign of her losing interest?

[QuietLady]

i think shes BIPOLAR. you need to find another girl. just break up with her and save yourself. let her find her own kind

Let her go.