High Sex Drive - Girlfriend thinks I have issues

[confusedsquare]

Hi, I have been in a long term relationship for around 7 years and for the last 5 years we have had various relationship issues including intimacy issues. I am 33 and my partner is 28 and in the first year of our relationship we had good sex but afterwards when we moved in together things changed as she turned cold and acting bored and tired whenever we would start getting ready for bed.

My partner always lacks energy when we are together and is hardly ever affectionate and mostly cold towards me. I am a passionate person in most aspects of my life and this also reflects in the way I express myself physically, affectionately - including my sex drive and desire to have regular sex. I am also the only one who initiates any intimate contact and she seems to cooperates sometimes but doesn't participate actively. I would like to have sex at least once a day and have always been attracted towards my partner but she things this is abnormal.

Do you think that having the need/desire to have sex once a day is a problem?

[4dvz]

I`ve had the same problem for almost half an year with my girlfriend, we have been together for 1,5 years and live together. I have a thread about my problem too here:
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/intimate-forum/39606-not-getting-enough-sex-my-relationship-making-my-daily-life-hard.html#post559828[/url]

I don`t believe it`s an "issue" to desire sex every day. I desire sex many times/ day and would happily have sex with my girlfriend even 3 times a day, but she is not willing to have sex even once a day, it`s rather 1-2 times/ week. So you have all of my symphaties in this problem we share. It would be awesome to find a working solution for woman`s unwillingness.

My advice for you is to do something together that is not ordinary, take a trip or try new hobbies. And doing sports can also do miracles.

At the time being, I`m trying not to express my desire for her and see how she reacts when I turn her down when she wants to have sex with me.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think it's weird or anything. It might be unreasonable, if you have busy lives like the rest of us. I still get laid pretty regularly, though, even though I work full time, am taking a class and have a kid. If the sex doesn't happen, at least the affection does. It's important to our relationship that we have "quality time" every day, where we pay close attention to one another and aren't talking about random crap.

It sounds to me like you're being neglected.

[mings]

Your forum is so different from us, very nice.

[Incognito]

Well unfortunately some people (men and women) try to please their partners less once they "think that they HAVE them". Some people call it "getting comfortable", or "letting one's self go". It sounds like she laid the goods on you because she sensed that was what you wanted. Now that you are living together she is showing her true self, and isn't as concerned about "getting" you because she now "has" you. By all means try to see if she'll change, but if she doesn't give her the ol heave ho. Do't end up like me, married to someone who has no sex drive and isn't attracted to you. It certainly does make you resent the person and the relationship.

[saraisROCKIN]

Try and warm up to her again. Perhaps stop trying COMPELTELY for a few days to see if she's like .. "what? he stopped?" and maybe she'll try herself. Or even just lay on the romantic stuff thick, take her out to a real nice dinner and make her feel special.

Also... A high sex drive is not a bad thing. She obviously has something going on in her head that is making her resentful towards sex, possibly. There are plenty of women who have ridiculously high sex drives. like me.

[lahnnabell]

I think the sudden sex drought is primarily due to too much down time spent being in each other's faces. You need a healthy amount of time apart, but you also need QUALITY time together. Quality time isn't just cuddling up on the couch before you pass out for the night. That's not exciting at all. If all you guys do is hang around your home, eat dinner, and go to bed, well, no wonder she's not spreading her legs. I wouldn't either. Your blood's barely pumping. Do you guys spend time outdoors together? Go ride bikes together. Go to the beach if you live by a coast. Frisbee? Dance classes?

The effort to improve your lifestyle needs to come from both of you.

[girl68]

nah it's not abnormal at all but as giga said once a day is totally unreasonable. now if it's not happening at least every few days then I'd say that's an issue.