Words of comfort not so comforting...

[DonkeyKong]

So I'm on day 27 of NC with the ex, and things are going fine. Until yesterday. I work with both of my ex's parents. Her father and I work in the same department and her mother works just across the hall, so I see them a few days a week. Now, it hasn't been awkward or anything since my ex and I have said that we're going to remain friends, and her parents haven't brought it up with me. At least until yesterday.

Yesterday her mother comes over to my department and starts talking to me about how I'm always welcome at their house, and how she feels like I'm part of the family (ex and I were together for over 5 years) and how she hopes that whatever happens between us, it's for the best, and all that. I appreciated her saying those things, because it was a very kind gesture on her part, but then for the rest of the afternoon, of course all I could think about was my ex. I'd been doing a pretty good job of putting her out of my mind until then. And even today now, it's not so bad, but I'm still thinking about her because of this. AHHHHHH!

The other weird thing was I got the slight impression that her mother was trying to give me hope that we'd reconcile. If that were to happen, I'd love it, but I'm not holding my breath. And the last thing I need right now is to be given false hope. I wanted to ask her what, if anything, my ex had said about us over the last month since we spoke, but I resisted that temptation, thankfully. Though it hasn't stopped me from wondering what she is thinking. I know we aren't getting back together, but I do wonder how much she misses me, if at all, or if she wonders when I'll start contacting her again since I told her I had no idea how long it would be when we discussed NC.

I guess I'm not really seeking any advice or answers here, I just felt like I had to vent this story to somebody. Though of course any comments or insights would be appreciated if given.

[Gigabitch]

You practice NC until it wouldn't cause either of you anxiety or pain to see or hear from one another. Maybe you should explain this concept gently to her mother.

[DonkeyKong]

Yeah, I pretty much did. I told her that even though I do plan on seeing the ex and hanging out again in the future that I don't know when, and it's precisely for that reason. That I can't see her again until I've completely let her go. That's not the part that bothered me so much though, it was the part about how she seemed to be trying to encourage me and give me hope that we'd end up back together again. That's a lovely thought, but there's no way to know if that can ever happen again so it's not worth getting my hopes up over. If it happens, it happens...there's no good that can come from me dreaming about it.

[QueenofCorona]

Hard to know what the ex is thinking unless you actually talk to her. I'm sure you don't want to turn it into schoolyard "Does she still like me? What did she say?" between the three of you. I can see my own mom doing something like this, thinking she's being nice when in actuality she's opening up cans of worms without knowing what she's really causing. She may have just wanted to let you know she doesn't want things to be weird with you and the dad.

[cmacattack1]

That's annoying that she would be involved and say her piece like that, even if she had the best intentions. It's not anybody's business besides the two of you, even if your ex confides in her mom. The temptation is there working with you but I hope as adults they would know better.

And you are still counting the days since you last talked. You aren't out of the woods yet.

[DonkeyKong]

And you are still counting the days since you last talked. You aren't out of the woods yet.

I know I'm not out of the woods yet, which is why I still have no idea when first contact will take place. But in my own defense, I'm actually not counting the days, it's just that it started on the first of the month, so it's kind of difficult to forget how many days it's been. Though now that we're in a new month, the calendar date no longer corresponds exactly to the number of days of NC! lol yeah