Too young?

[Okita]

Hello everyone.

I thought I could manage this on my own but I can't and since I feel that I need help I'm posting my heartache into this forum. (Sounds easier than it was coz I cried like never before in my life and I still do every night...)

Two weeks ago my girlfriend told me over the phone that she loved me less than she used to. It was a long-distance relationship but it was as real as a "normal" one can possibly get. Then a month after my last stay in her country she told me that although she still loved me that she wasnt in love with me anymore or she got bored with me.

She emphasized that it had nothing to do with me, that it wasnt because of something Ive done or not done or because she didnt see any future for our relationship (I'll have to go to the army next year for 8 months and after that I'd still have to get the residence permit of her country, a place to stay and to work etc.) but simply because her romantic interest in me has decreased with time. And that's what hurt and scares me the most.

I admit she is very young. I am young too but I guess in this age category the difference counts even more. What I mean is, it doesnt matter if the wife of a 70-year-old is 66. But if you are 18 the difference does matter the younger she is.

I love her. More than anything else in the wolrd. I would do anything for her. She is the one I want to share the rest of my life with. I made the mistake of letting her know this and Im sure that this scared her off a bit but this cant be the reason why she loved me less all of a sudden. In my despair I talked with her mum about this (I'm on very good terms with her) and she too said that her daughter was too young for such an intense relationship (let alone a long-distance one...)

Anyway it happened. I told her that I'd respect her feelings and I'd let her go. But I want her back some time. I'm willing to wait for her. For her to be ready for a that kind of love, for her to see new faces, to meet new people, to make happy memories, to experience the feeling of being in love many, many times, to go and have fun partying & clubbing & drinking & dancing & flirting and do all the things a girl her age likes to do, if that makes her happy.

I'm willing to wait for her for as long as it takes because I love her and I know there is no place for anyone else in my heart. The thing is until that time she might "seriously" fall in love with someone else or she might never fall in love with me again at all. I know that these are all things noone can know for sure and I myself do not understand why Im posting this if I am willing to wait regardless of conditions. All I know for sure is that she really loved me and that she still wants me as a friend.

I love her and I want her back. Is there any hope for me? If there is how should I act until I am "allowed" to approach her romantically again? Please help me, I love her so much.

[sfalexi]

In my experience (drawing from personal and also others experiences), once a goner, always a goner. She said she is not in love with you anymore. That's pretty much a 'clincher'. You can wait and wait, but the odds are TRULY stacked against you. Not to mention, while you'll have PLENTY on your mind to keep you busy (being in the military and all), she's still free as bird, and WILL probably meet other guys she'll become interested in, and probably WILL be asked out/hit on by them, and that makes your fight even harder. Not to even mention the "outta sight, outta mind" cliche which holds very true in most cases (and for a different country, probably will).

Of course you're still in love with her, considering only two weeks ago this started to come to light through a phone conversation, but as Mariah Carey sang, "Love takes time to heal". Two weeks may not be enough for you. At this point you're probably reading this and thinking, But I WILL wait for her. I care for her too much. I'll wait as long as I need. The only thing I say is if you feel like you want to remain friends with her, that's just gonna make it MORE time to heal.

BUT, while you're waiting, just do yourself a favor and don't pass up a possible relationship when one comes around. You have to realize that you're SINGLE. You may not want to be, but you are. And you might meet some girl that intrigues you, likes you, and maybe wants to hang out and date you. Don't pass it up because you're waiting for this girl from another country who is, and I quote, "too young for such an intense relationship (let alone a long-distance one...)" to fall back in love with you through the occasional phone conversation. Cause you'll probably end up with nothing, and could be passing up a great relationship. Don't be like me. It'll kill you in the end to realize that you've been missing out on life.

Rod Steele

[lost1031]

i have the same feeling as u 1month+ ago.....
but my ex keep ignore me................
time will heal but long, i cost me 1 month+ to give up.....
i want to at least be friends, but without feelings she's a Bi***
when my frens tell her i'm quitting school, she says it's not her prob,
when my frens ask her to give me 1 last chance, she say no feelings give chance oso no use.................haiz.........

(pls excuse for my bad english if u dont understand)

[ltj5253]

every woman is different. your best bets would be to just live your life like you normally would. thats the best thing i could tell you to do. if you want to get over her ill tell you the best way to do it. just do things you couldnt do when you were with her. thats the best heartbreak medicine. i hope you feel better bro.

[Frebbiezadyke]

age is a number is maturdy, healt, and educationt hat matters

[MVPlaya]

You're 18 and she's 14?

[Steve2004]

18 and 14...well..i hear you on all this heartache and stuff..but this is also illegal...

[Frebbiezadyke]

blah illegal....like i said before i think..laws are there to keep people in order...ur soposed to break them..go for her younger sister

[Anthony]

Unfortunately, at fourteen years of age she likely doesn't have the emotional -ability- to participate in a long term relationship, regardless of the circumstances. I don't mean to say that a relationship would be impossible, however I would think it's fairly improbable. I don't know if there's anything else you can do to improve the situation other than what you've already decided.

[Frebbiezadyke]

yeah .....the maby is the key word there
she coudl vey well have the ablilty

[Steve2004]

yes, but most girls her age are very fickle and aren't sure what they want. She could also be very uncomfortable with the age difference.

[Frebbiezadyke]

there still trying to find otu who they are

[KirstyM]

Yes 14 is too young. I am all for age gap relationships, I'm in one, but only if both partners are of equal maturity and very few 14 year olds are going to be mature enough and ready to cope with such a serious relationship. Move on.

[Steve2004]

yes..i agree.

[Frebbiezadyke]

so sterio typical