Hello, I'm happy to meet you!

[Miharu]

Greetings everyone,

Please accept my apologies for this late self-introduction. I have been lurking here for a month or two while I was working through a difficult relationship issue and only began making posts recently. Since the situation has been resolved through a combination of my research here along with a number of outside resources, I decided to go forward and self-disclose a bit in spite of the near-complete unsecure status of the forum (seeing that it is publicly searchable)...

Without going into too much detail, I am an Asian-American male in my early thirties who grew up in the Midwest United States. I was an expatriate in the Far East for over half a decade and recently returned to the US for an international/public sector professional position.

I have a strong interest in old world and early 20th century style, personal handicrafts, physical training and shopping. I'm also a bit of an Anglophile and almost exclusively dated English ladies overseas.

My reasons for coming to this forum evolved over time - I initially exclusively read the "Broken Hearts" section. Lately I have branched out and began reading and posting occasionally throughout the message boards. At the moment I'm in the process of recovering from being manipulated by what I recently discovered to be a textbook HPD girl, so please forgive me if I come across as a bit distant. Nevertheless, I'm glad I was able to come across this forum and hope to be of some service in the future while learning more about how a healthy relationship is supposed to be.

[Illusional]

correct me if i'm wrong, but i always thought that miharu was a girl's name.

raverboy

[Miharu]

As I mentioned in another thread, it's one of several different pronunciations for my family's kanji/hanchya in Japanese. On the other hand, my given name is fairly uncommon so I tend not to use it online.

Nevertheless, there are a large number of "popular" given names in Japanese that have exactly the same pronunciation for both males and females but completely different kanji characters/meanings - for example, "Akira" is actually more common for women in my experience than for men.

So, in conclusion (if I may make the logical leap) it may be best not to use Japanese cartoons as a primary reference for actual Japanese cultural/social trends...

[Illusional]

haha... i didn't get this reference from a cartoon.... or should i say anime. it's just that i've never met any males that use the name miharu before.

as for your logical leap, it's probably closer than you think. i'm also japanese.

raverboy

[Miharu]

I see. If you put it that way, then the reason why you haven't seen that family name before is probably because it would usually be an alternate pronunciation for a zainichi Japanese family name. I'm under the impression that it would be terribly rare to find a zainichi Japanese expatriate, so that would make sense. There are only two "acceptable" Japanese pronunciations and one Chinese pronunciation for the kanji/hanchya for my family name in Japan, but for the sake of convenience it was easier to rely on the kanji/hanchya itself (as it was singular) so I could make a proper inkan for registry at the shiakushou. That way I could get an inkanshoumei/inkanshoumeishou for official and other authentication purposes along with the typical torokugenpyoukisaishoumeishou.

... And it seems I made it fairly obvious what country I was an expatriate in in this post. Ah well.

[Illusional]

it's not a problem. although i don't understand all the terms that you are talking about, i got the gist.

so when was the last time that you were in japan??

raverboy

[Miharu]

I haven't been back since I left, so it's been nearly two years now. I'm still actually suffering from some reverse culture shock though - it's quite humorous as I tend to be overly polite in English to complete strangers due to the aizuchi habits I have from Japanese. That and it's harder for me to appreciate Japanese food as it tends to be prepared for western tastes...

[Illusional]

hrmm.... i beg to differ when it comes to japanese foods. that's the main reason why i go to japan every so often. the sashimi there doesn't even compare to the fish that we have here, and i live in hawaii. we're surrounded by tropical seafood, but because of the different temperate zones, unfortunately our fishes don't have the same fat qualities.

overall, i guess it depends on what kinda foods you are into.

being that you left, i'm not going to guess that you're from tokyo, but i could be wrong.

raverboy

[vashti]

Lurking for a couple of months, huh? So tell me: who have you e-bonded to?

[Miharu]

Illusional: I'm in CONUS, and only until recently in the Midwest so I can't rightly say much about sushi in the US. Also, I was outside Tokyo but on the Boso peninsula so I was in a typical post-industrial poisonous inaka area that you typically encounter outside of major cities so chain kaiten sushi restaurants like Sushi-ondo were the norm with the local places limited to neighborhood izakaya that managed to stay alive in spite of Shirokiya and the like. If anything though, I miss having authentic Japanese-style ramen specifically with proper chashu; fresh natto (frozen and thawed tastes like styrofoam); and Suntory Malts on tap in a frosty nama-dai mug (even though I rarely drink now) and a full selection of yakitori to go with it.

Vashti: Sorry to disappoint(?), but I haven't e-bonded to anyone yet. As I mentioned in the first post I just left the clutches of what I recently found out to be a textbook HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder) girl, so I am still reeling a bit from being manipulated and used like a $500 used car. Sad thing about this is although my instincts and the intervention of a third party saved me personally from the insanity I witnessed later that was inflicted by her on another poor sucker, the feelings developed by me for her responding to the completely false persona she crafted for our particular interactions were very hard to eliminate (even in the face of all the easily penetrated lies and elaborate drama created by her gossiping behind my back). So for now I'm investigating what personality flaw she was able to exploit in me through research and introspection... Which has actually drawn me more into lurking in a psychological support forum specializing in HPD. I still come here every other day or so though, as I am ramping up for another sally into the dating scene. I just have to retrain myself to listen to my instincts a little better first.

[vashti]

Vashti: Sorry to disappoint(?), but I haven't e-bonded to anyone yet.

You've been lurking for a month, and you haven't come to appreciate ANY of the regulars yet? hmm... I am trying to understand what would motivate you to post, then. Oh, well, welcome.

As I mentioned in the first post I just left the clutches of what I recently found out to be a textbook HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder) girl, so I am still reeling a bit from being manipulated and used like a $500 used car. .

yikes. They are tough to deal with.

[Illusional]

hahaha... char-sui ramen... very delicious in the winter time i might add. and i will admit that the best part of drinking is the izakaya bars... sadly in hawaii there aren't too many good ones.

raverboy