I will be single forever :(

[Coco]

They may not have been the one for you but it doesn't hurt to have friends.
As long as if you are open and honest with the guys you are meeting you should have no trouble with stringing the guys along.
Let them know you think they are cool but you want to take things at a neutral pace. You're not looking for a heartbreak.

[LailaK]

That's true. I could do that instead of being so severe.

[starbuck]

I struggle with this a lot. I just don't want to string anyone along or hurt anyone's feelings. The 2 guys I was interested in never broke it off with me. They still try to contact me and keep me on the back burner and I think it's very confusing behavior. One of them has a girlfriend even, so what he's doing doesn't make sense. I don't appreciate that kind of stuff and I'd rather they tell me they're not interested instead of giving me false hope.

I guess that's why I'm always so quick to break it off. If I know it's not working I don't want to lead someone on.

I think it's applaudable that you don't want to string someone along. But how do you really know if it's not working after only 3 dates? Perhaps the guy hasn't really gotten a chance to show you how funny, clever, smart, responsible, etc., he can be. I know that there are some that would disagree with me, but sometimes people can grow on you.

I think because you've been lead on by guys in the past, that maybe you've become a bit severe about trying to make sure you don't do the same to others. I wouldn't worry so much about it. There is no reason to not go on a fourth, fifth or sixth date with a guy who might have potential even if you don't feel the chemistry. Like Coco said, just make sure expectations are met and that he knows you want to take things slowly.

[lastwish]

People who are so open-minded also make more mistakes. I find one of the reasons for so many divorces in North America is because too many people are exactly like that. You either know what you want or you don't.

I find that one of the reasons for so many divources in North America is because people are constantly trying to find someone who has to fit their mold of perfection or even worse...something magical.

I'm not saying that people should stop trying to find someone they have chemistry with or drop all their standards. But they should at least make some attempt to open up and get to know the person better before they write off a potential.

[cmacattack1]

I think it's applaudable that you don't want to string someone along. But how do you really know if it's not working after only 3 dates? Perhaps the guy hasn't really gotten a chance to show you how funny, clever, smart, responsible, etc., he can be. I know that there are some that would disagree with me, but sometimes people can grow on you.

I think because you've been lead on by guys in the past, that maybe you've become a bit severe about trying to make sure you don't do the same to others. I wouldn't worry so much about it. There is no reason to not go on a fourth, fifth or sixth date with a guy who might have potential even if you don't feel the chemistry. Like Coco said, just make sure expectations are met and that he knows you want to take things slowly.

I know that I've very nervous and awkward when it comes to dating and some people need time to come out of their shell a bit. We'd all like to blow them away on the first date and have them head over heels for us, and that's sometimes the problem (trying too hard). I think it's great you don't want to lead them on as well, but it doesn't sound like you are doing that. You aren't being dishonest with them and you aren't telling them how much you care about them. It's hard to know alot about somebody after a few dates so keep an open mind.