What's taking me so long?

[Petit Papillon]

you guys are weird! i thought forum is a place where we can get advices, from not involved people....

i post here, since my friedns dont want to listen to my mess anymore or give me an advice i dont agree with... when i do read posts from IndiReloaded or Petit Papillon it makes me feel like we came to your home withought any invitation and eating from your fridge and sleeping in your bed...! and you are kind of pissed of with that...? do you think those post are stupid? if you think so, have a look, read, decide what you think about it and move on to the next record, which you will find good or exciting enought to be posted in YOUR forum community...

I thought forums were public and there should not be mobbing from "oldies"... really...

Sorry Coco for changing your thread into this "other" discussion with another post to the subject, i just got an opinion to the above convirsation i ad to get read of.

Before you say anything, you should try reading to the same old story for two years. you would react the same way, as she got the advice billions of times but never actually took it (plus many times she insulted people as a 'thank you') . so shut up, find some old posts and then say if we are wrong or right.

[Petit Papillon]

And to you Coco, I really mean it now. Find a new lover and stop talking about Anako. If you find a new one I will read your stories with pleasure and maybe i get even nicer to you if you try then i will try too

[to-cinderella]

Before you say anything, you should try reading to the same old story for two years. you would react the same way, as she got the advice billions of times but never actually took it (plus many times she insulted people as a 'thank you') . so shut up, find some old posts and then say if we are wrong or right.

shut up? excuse me..?!

well, i have better things to do, than reading old treads, i got live. but i will think twice before posting anything asking for an advice in the future...

[Asip4u]

What bothers me is this. You guys pretty much know what her reaction is going to be, so why continue with all this drama? Either let her have this thread, or explain to her that she's had her fair of chances and close it. The new poster is right, it makes the whole forum look bad when this keeps happening. Also, there are PM's and you can express your dislike for one another that way.

[Petit Papillon]

I gave her advice at the first place, it's her who called me broad ;]

Cindirella : don't be so sensitive. This is internet, there is no place for weakness

[Coco]

You people get even more ridiculous by the day. You actually think I want your approval or seek your advice PP? If I want advice I'm going ask for it no matter what. If you choose not to read about it then that's your problem. If I want some advice on how to beat my feeling for my ex-fiance then that's what I choose to do. You can't tell me what I can or cannot ask. How ridiculous do you sound?

[Doc Durian]

cool.. cat fight.

grabs popcorn

10 bucks on the furry one.

[Asip4u]

cool.. cat fight.

grabs popcorn

10 bucks on the furry one.

Doc, you are hilarious..and you give good advice. I love reading your posts!

[Gigabitch]

Coco, you're having trouble getting past it because you broke the cardinal rule, which is No Contact. If you hadn't spent all that time playing Florence Nightingale with him, you'd be well on your way to an Anako-free lifestyle.

I've said this to other posters before: your ex is like a drug. You have to get all of it out of your system before you can think clearly. He had almost six years of your life to fill every corner of your mind up with his poison and it's going to take more than a few months to get it out. It may be years before you can see him for what he really is.

Give yourself a chance and reinstate No Contact and stick to it this time.

[Coco]

wait... wait... wait.... isn't the purpose of the blog so that people read what you have to say?? isn't the purpose of the forums to post what you want to say, yet have people respond??

I had no problem with people actually responding to the topic I posted about but I do have a problem with people telling me what I can and cannot post. For some reason I can't get comments and I can't make comments in the blog section so I posted my BLOG here in the public forum.

Seriously Coco... I was married for 5 years and it took only a matter of a few months to endure the no-contact-rule and move on with life. People go through break ups everyday... at some point they stop being break ups and turn into obsessions. How close to an obsession do you feel you're getting now?

That's really great that you were able to do that in YOUR situation with your ex husband. The first time I broke up with him it was kind of easy to enforce the no contact rule. I didn't have contact with him for a couple of months. He continued in couple's therapy while we had split up and I took him because I honestly believed he had changed. It didn't take long to see that he was acting like a robot. I couldn't talk to him without him following stupid ass steps. Anyway... this is our second time breaking up to the point where I changed the locks, he moved out. I broke the no contact rule when he got hurt which was probably a mistake but my heart wouldn't allow me to abandon him in his time of need. Before he was my lover he was a good friend. One who helped me out in so many situations including dangerous ones. I felt like I owed him that much as a friend even though he didn't show his appreciation... I know I did the right thing. I don' feel an obsession. I love him, I really do. I keep dwelling on the past, reliving the past and thinking about what could have been and what should not have happened. I'm just having trouble accepting that it's over.

Also, why not be honest with the forum in other matters -- you'd probably get a better answer.

I don't know what you mean by this because I have been nothing but honest.

[Coco]

Coco, you're having trouble getting past it because you broke the cardinal rule, which is No Contact. If you hadn't spent all that time playing Florence Nightingale with him, you'd be well on your way to an Anako-free lifestyle.

I've said this to other posters before: your ex is like a drug. You have to get all of it out of your system before you can think clearly. He had almost six years of your life to fill every corner of your mind up with his poison and it's going to take more than a few months to get it out. It may be years before you can see him for what he really is.

Give yourself a chance and reinstate No Contact and stick to it this time.

I hope so because I feel like I just cut back open a wound that would have been healed by now if I had not helped him. Once he moves out and I go back to no contact I reallllly hope I get over him. I'm pissed at myself because I should be already. It's like as soon as he said he found his own place and his move-in date something just... happened. Thanks for your advice. I just wish time would hurry up.

[Doc Durian]

Doc, you are hilarious..and you give good advice. I love reading your posts!

Thanks, but it's just a set of extreme circumstances for the moment. I bought a cordless hair clipper set on the way home from work this morning with the intention of shaving my head. Unfortunately, it's not a lithium ion battery which I found out 3 passes across the scalp. Each pass after that has taken a 5 minute charge. I got bored and started drinking energy drinks because I must go to the bank (which opened 30 minutes ago). I'm only 3/4 finished. It's been two hours. I've drunk a litre of "V" energy drinks.

It's a vicious circle of looking at the clock, looking at the shaver, looking at the fridge, and whizzing.

[Aeradalia]

That's really great that you were able to do that in YOUR situation with your ex husband. The first time I broke up with him it was kind of easy to enforce the no contact rule. I didn't have contact with him for a couple of months...I honestly believed he had changed... I broke the no contact rule... I felt like I owed him that much as a friend even though he didn't show his appreciation... I know I did the right thing. I don' feel an obsession. I love him, I really do. I keep dwelling on the past, reliving the past and thinking about what could have been and what should not have happened. I'm just having trouble accepting that it's over.

A million excuses but you miss the obvious. My situation is different from yours because where you broke the no-contact-rule... at least twice... I didn't. Where you felt he had changed, in my situation I knew my ex hadn't. Where you felt you had owed, I felt no such feelings. Amazing what some subtle differences can make -- differences that can be implemented right now.

Obsession typically involves dwelling on the past, reliving the past, thinking about what if's, and having trouble accepting that it's over.

[IndiReloaded]

I hope so because I feel like I just cut back open a wound that would have been healed by now if I had not helped him. Once he moves out and I go back to no contact I reallllly hope I get over him. I'm pissed at myself because I should be already. It's like as soon as he said he found his own place and his move-in date something just... happened. Thanks for your advice. I just wish time would hurry up.

Ugh. Now he's got an actual move date, can't you just ask him to live in his car or a motel or something?

Okay, I'm joking. Sort of. But I would spend as little time as possible there until he is gone, in that case.

[Doc Durian]

Obsession typically involves dwelling on the past, reliving the past, thinking about what if's, and having trouble accepting that it's over.

Shit...

Are you sure?