Damn you "love" for rearing your ugly head on this one

[urkiddingme]

You GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

alright so been dating this younger chic for about 9 months. basicly the whole time it was on and off feelings for her, i mean i cared about her alot and when we got along it was great and sometimes it "felt" like love. but there was just so much that always held me back from actually "loving" her. But the whole time she was madly in love with me, so i kept hope seeing if our relationship would work and if she improved. But there were so many times when i was almost so sick of her i wish i didnt have to deal with her, and actually WANTED to find a way out of the relationship.I mean sometimes she seemed to me just plain psycho, obsessive compulsive, i don't even know!! I can not even find the words sometimes. But i guess it cause she was SO in love with me. So the whole time there was always turmoil in our relationship and sometimes i would deliberately avoid her and avoid her text messages and calls through the relationship, so yea pretty jerkish but hey, she was just a plain rotten bitch and disrespectful alot regardless.

well anyways yea, she broke up with me finally and i was like yea "whatever" just one of our normal fights , and tomorrow she be callin me or i would call her and we would be all good and get along fine, boom back together( the whole time im telling myself in my head, WHY ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH HER YOU JACKASS?!?).

NOPE , NOT THIS TIME LOL

now she really don't want me back and she moved on

SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME MAN!??? WHY AM I UPSET OVER THIS?? I DO NOT GET THIS, i seriously can not believe i am feeling what i am right now. Mani am really hoping this is very temporary. THIS IS BS

Now it is turning out i am starting to act the same WAY she was!!! CRAZY

I need someone to slap me in the FACE as hard as they can.

AWW MAN this SUCKS

[dyno31225]

wow! you know what? i went through the same thing with my current fiancee way 2 years ago. He did the same thing you did. When we get into arguments he would not pick up his phone when i call him or he would not reply to my text messages. I would get furious! Im not one of those psycho bitches that would go over to the house if you don't pick up the phone... is more like lets talk and get this resolved. As many times as he did that, yeah im still with him but there was this one time i was about to up and leave because i felt like i just had enough of his games.

Maybe you were in love with her but not as much as she did. you thought that if you would avoid her and not take her calls... she will cool down and you guys talk later and like you said BOOM! back together... but there's so much that a girl can take. believe me... avoiding someone sucks!

maybe you realize that you do love her and you miss her being around...

[urkiddingme]

wow! you know what? i went through the same thing with my current fiancee way 2 years ago. He did the same thing you did. When we get into arguments he would not pick up his phone when i call him or he would not reply to my text messages. I would get furious! Im not one of those psycho bitches that would go over to the house if you don't pick up the phone... is more like lets talk and get this resolved. As many times as he did that, yeah im still with him but there was this one time i was about to up and leave because i felt like i just had enough of his games.

Maybe you were in love with her but not as much as she did. you thought that if you would avoid her and not take her calls... she will cool down and you guys talk later and like you said BOOM! back together... but there's so much that a girl can take. believe me... avoiding someone sucks!

maybe you realize that you do love her and you miss her being around...

hello, nice to meet you and thank you for your input.

i think your right, it is SO true what they say i guess, you don't know what you got until its gone!

the weird thing is i know this is for the best, see she is 19 and i am 31, that is one major issue. I actually was just very weary of being with her because of her age. I knew it would never work out! When i first met her and we became good friends, and she started coming on to me, at first i told her that i was uncomfortable about us being a couple. i even talked to her a few times and said she should honestly stick to guys her age and that messing around with older men is trouble.

but of course temptation gave in.

This is BOGUS :surprise:

[dyno31225]

you know... my current fiancee is 7 years older than me. Im 26 and he 33. like some people say, age is nothing but a number. i said the same thing that she said. i would never mess with an older man... but how can you control someones feelings when they're just fun to be around with. With us... stuff happened and we wounded up together. The first few months that we were together, he did exactly what you did.... and i totally hated it! never take anything for granted i guess....

but you said she was crazy... like how crazy was she? usually girls around her age gets very clingy and obsessive like what you wrote in the beginning of the thread. since you're older than she is... you're probably over that clingyness and all that other stuff because you've already been through it.... im just guessing.

[urkiddingme]

you know... my current fiancee is 7 years older than me. Im 26 and he 33. like some people say, age is nothing but a number. i said the same thing that she said. i would never mess with an older man... but how can you control someones feelings when they're just fun to be around with. With us... stuff happened and we wounded up together. The first few months that we were together, he did exactly what you did.... and i totally hated it! never take anything for granted i guess....

but you said she was crazy... like how crazy was she? usually girls around her age gets very clingy and obsessive like what you wrote in the beginning of the thread. since you're older than she is... you're probably over that clingyness and all that other stuff because you've already been through it.... im just guessing.

yes like you said very clingy and obsessive, and yes i have been through all that and over all that. see sometimes she could be very mature, but there was ALOT of the time that felt like i was dating a damn child. like when we would joke and play around sometimes, she would take it WAY too far and say hurtful things, so then we would actually start fighting out of a play fight! and it was always her fault! and then she would be in a bitchy mood the rest of the day or so would be completely ruined, OVER NOTHING. and every other comeback for her was "oh yea you wanna f*** her?" or "yea you wanna f*** my mom dont you". I say "hi" to her mom, and strike a meaningful conversation with her, and thats what i get. ya know i just dont want to sit there and say nothing like a weirdo! this is your mother kiddo! and i am 31 years old TAKING you from your mothers house,i am sleeping in your mothers house some nights with you! lol i think i want to make a good impression, which i always did! her mother liked me!

there are many other things i could go on about her, which i probably will here soon. LOL

[dyno31225]

yeah... i thought so... girls around her age like to joke around but to the point where gets too far. i would get irritated too if my man was asking me, "you want to f*** my dad dont you?" and all that other stuff... that would piss me off. Plus too, when you're that age, you think that you're always right and she probably says like, "why are you taking it so seriously? it was just a joke" or "I was just playing around." it does get annoying....

if it was me... and she does that... i would just totally forget about her... she moved on, why shouldn't you? everyone bickers and argue in a relationship but you need somebody more mature in a relationship than someone saying stupid middle school shit like "you want to f*** this and that" thats bullshit. you're over that.

[urkiddingme]

yeah... i thought so... girls around her age like to joke around but to the point where gets too far. i would get irritated too if my man was asking me, "you want to f*** my dad dont you?" and all that other stuff... that would piss me off. Plus too, when you're that age, you think that you're always right and she probably says like, "why are you taking it so seriously? it was just a joke" or "I was just playing around." it does get annoying....

if it was me... and she does that... i would just totally forget about her... she moved on, why shouldn't you? everyone bickers and argue in a relationship but you need somebody more mature in a relationship than someone saying stupid middle school shit like "you want to f*** this and that" thats bullshit. you're over that.

yes you are absolutely right. I think i will be fine in a few days actually. she actually thought we were still going to be friends and i would still hang out with her. but i just cant. it is just the type of person that i know she is, i just can not be friends or anything anymore. anyways in our last conversation after we had it out and were done, she called me right back and told me i should get my few pieces of clothing from her house soon. i told her to throw it away or do whatever she wants with it, because i wont be seeing her ever again. i hope to hell she does not text or call me after this. and if or when that happens i hope i have the courage to not respond. but i think i'll be fine.

[dyno31225]

you should be. i remember when i went through that.... sometimes young girls can't live without the drama or like the drama to make the relationship more interesting. It's going to be hard being friends because something may come up and she may something stupid again, probably even worse since you guys are no longer together. Maybe like in a few weeks or so, she's going to do something to make you feel like this is what you could of had but you can't...i don't know why girls tend to do that.... but i can guarantee that she will call or text you....

but like we both said... you'll be absolutely fine because you're the mature adult... she isnt.

[soulsurvivor23]

Of course this is just an opinion, and only knowing the bare minimum of facts but what it sounds like to me is that it was either a situation where you loved her more than you thought you did as others have said, or it could just be a situation of feeling rejection. No matter whether you were really in love with a person or not, I think it still hurts when they turn you down. I remember being in a relationship with someone who was head over heels in love with me and I was never certain of how I felt about her.. I had thought about breaking up with her many times, and then out of nowhere she broke up with me and I was just utterly amazed.

Anyways, as a side note.. I hate the silent treatment and don't really agree with it as a method to solve problems. It can turn a completely normal and sane person into looking "obsessive compulsive" or "crazy" and I can attest to that. One of my ex's used to give me the silent treatment every time we would have a fight. Her reasoning behind doing that (I actually asked her one time) was that she felt as though if she continued the conversation while we were both angry and hot-headed, one of us or both might say some things we regret and she'd rather talk with a cooler head and time to think about it.. And yeah in a way that made sense to me but when you have a heated argument with a person and next thing you know they completely avoid you it just fuels the fire. I said a lot of regretful things to her when she ignored me. I blew up her phone, her e-mail, text messages, etc... because it just drove me nuts not to get a response. Anyways, that's all. Sorry for the jumbled thoughts.

[dyno31225]

Anyways, as a side note.. I hate the silent treatment and don't really agree with it as a method to solve problems. It can turn a completely normal and sane person into looking "obsessive compulsive" or "crazy" and I can attest to that. One of my ex's used to give me the silent treatment every time we would have a fight. Her reasoning behind doing that (I actually asked her one time) was that she felt as though if she continued the conversation while we were both angry and hot-headed, one of us or both might say some things we regret and she'd rather talk with a cooler head and time to think about it.. And yeah in a way that made sense to me but when you have a heated argument with a person and next thing you know they completely avoid you it just fuels the fire. I said a lot of regretful things to her when she ignored me. I blew up her phone, her e-mail, text messages, etc... because it just drove me nuts not to get a response. Anyways, that's all. Sorry for the jumbled thoughts.

I HATE THE SILENT TREATMENT! i pisses me off more when they do that. i think that you would say alot more regrettable things than going at it right then and there.... my man used to do that to me all the time and i talked to him about it cause i feel like it just makes the problem more worse than it is!

[Junket]

You're upset because you're a drama queen.

You're also upset because she pulled the plug this time, not you, it wasn't on your terms.

Now stop wasting your time.

[cmacattack1]

Whole heartedly agree that the silent treatment is bad news. I did that to my ex. It was just out of instinct for me to avoid the calls and texts, because I wasn't mature enough to take my problems head on and work on a solution. She dumps me, I'm moping. I totally deserved it.

You are 31 and you are doing it. Not communicating solves absolutely nothing. You know better. She's 19 but she doesn't need time out.

Age is just a number but even four years difference between somebody in high school and somebody in college is huge. We are changing, and learning so much, and responsibility is coming at us faster than we can even understand. How could it possibly work?

[urkiddingme]

You're upset because you're a drama queen.

You're also upset because she pulled the plug this time, not you, it wasn't on your terms.

Now stop wasting your time.

whoa! you could not be more WRONG! SORRY! I HATE DRAMA, and want absolutely NOTHING to do with any at all. I have lost many friends and dissassociated with many aquaintances because their lives were just all hyped drama it seemed.

your probably right about me being upset because shes the one who pulled the plug though, that's the only conclusion i can come too. LOL

Like i said, it is very mixed right now, because there were so many times i was so sick and just wish i could forget all about her, i never really had true feelings for her, because the way she acted sometimes is what prevented that! MAN i knew this relationship was a mistake from the beginning!

im just really mad that my defenses seem like they are breaking down now!!

[Junket]

whoa! you could not be more WRONG! SORRY! I HATE DRAMA, and want absolutely NOTHING to do with any at all. I have lost many friends and dissassociated with many aquaintances because their lives were just all hyped drama it seemed.

You may hate it, but your relationship with this girl is founded on drama. The extremes of fighting, separating, and coming back together again.

You'll be better off putting this relationship behind you.

[urkiddingme]

You may hate it, but your relationship with this girl is founded on drama. The extremes of fighting, separating, and coming back together again.

You'll be better off putting this relationship behind you.

somewhat yes, but the drama was all her mainly, but i guess now i understand, love just brings on drama no matter who you are, when love gets ahold of you we all act highly unpredictable and irrational sometimes. it is crazy how such an emotion can change you into an almost completely different person, and make you seem crazy, we all have experienced this.