Her obsession is making me nuts!

[norton comando]

First off I noticed that most of the topics here are related to dating, I am maried now twice. My first wife , well phsyco. My current wife is the most wonderful woman a man could ask for and i love her with all of my heart. We have been maried now for 8 years, we have 3 beutiful children. She never mentioned to me that she liked Michael Jackson untill he died. After he died, in july i think , she joined a forum, we will call OMJ. She would post on this forum every day. I thought nothing of it really, untill she started staying up real late , and then even all nighters at times. It really did become a constant , to the point where she would get upset if she had to step away from the computer , or if i was on it and she was not. After a few months of this i started to wonder , and even asked her once ," how much can there be to talk about michael jackson"? A few months ago she switched to another forum , we will call this one RTT. I asked her why and she just told me cause they were being jerks. This whole time these forums have been very secretive. I would walk up behind her, and she would close the window , or scroll away so i could not see what she was writing. 2 weeks ago she left her notebook out on the counter, maybe it was snooping , but i opend it and started reading. She has writen letters to him (MJ), that are deep, very deep love letters. she has posted very sexually explicet dreams she says she has had. I started to get jelous, imagine that jelous of a dead man, but these letters are very heartfelt, she has never wrote anything like that for me. I began to notice that she had pictures of him everywhere, on her phone , in her car, she burned up 80 dollors worth of printer ink printing pictures of him and made an album. She has spent over 1k on MJ dvd's,
shirts ,cd's, among other things. So i googled her user name , i found alot of posts on the OMJ forum, more of the love letters , how she thinks of MJ when in bed with me,lots of sexually explicet posts (this is why the kicked her and her group of this forum). I have the password for the new forum RTT, but i cant invade her privacy further, can I ? Or am i the nutball for being so jelous , the jelousy is begining to comsume me. I dont want to loose her, but i cant handle the secrets and lies. Is obsession like this normal , or should i be worried , should i log on to RTT and check, what if she finds out? Please help

[Coco]

What the hell? I would confront her about her obsession to her face not busting her on the forum.

[vashti]

Sexual attraction to Michael Jackson?

ewwwww.



She needs professional help.

[girl68]

That's straight up scary. She needs professional help.

[Doc Durian]

She doesn't... you know... have any Bubbles gear laying around, does she?

Just asking for a friend of a friend..

[norton comando]

@ coco , you are ablolutly right. confronting her is probly the best thing to do , on the other hand i could send her into a deeper secracy about the whole thing , and the secracy is what has got me so messed up. i know i have to talk to her about it i just wanted to know what outside pearsons my think about the situation , and maybe some advice on how to handle it. she would probly just deny it as being a problem right now anyway and get even more withdrawn.

[cmacattack1]

You are probably right on the deeper withdrawn reaction to you asking. If after eight years of marriage, she can't share this with you and expected you not to find out or ask, it is something to kind of worry about. Prying and even grazing the surface asking could set the defenses up at arms. I think it is something that needs to be addressed, but if she is going to fight you for it from the get go, I wouldn't pursue try to pry anymore by yourself. It seems harmless to be obsessed with an idol, but this is outrageous.

Is there a doctor in the house? Some professional help might be a great route.

[SirWagginston]

As a third party observer, I couldn't help but find your dilemma amusing. It reminded me of a thread on another forum I saw, wherein the OP (and this seemed almost too ridiculous to be true) claimed that his wife was so distraught over Michael Jackson's death that she said she couldn't birth and raise a child into a world without him. All of the sudden, she wanted an abortion. At least your situation could be worse.

Still, I'm sure it's not so funny when you're dealing with it personally; I honestly can't fathom what you should do. If you didn't already have three kids and eight years of what seemed like true love, I would suggest a divorce. It seems strange that her fetish could go unnoticed for so long.

[kisswithafist]

strange one.....

So you didnt even know she liked MJ before he died?

when people die in the puplic eye, especially as iconic as him, it can make you realise how fragile life is, and it was a shock to everyone that he died i imagine.

Perhaps she has been kind of brainwashed by people on this forum, kind of like a MJ cult thing.
But you do have to confront her, ask her whats going on and why, perhaps she needs a little help about grieve with a professional if it has gone this far.

Chances are though she might not want to hear it, and it will start an argument, but imagine if it gets anymore out of hand? what will be next?

[SirWagginston]

I just don't understand how people can become so obsessed over public icons. They don't even know who you are! When Michael Jackson died, I carried on like it was a normal day.

[Coco]

When you bring it up to her just explain to her how it makes you feel to know that she is obsessed with a celebrity. Tell her without giving her a chance to deny it. Talk to her as if she admitted it. Also let her know that if the tables were turned and you were thinking about another woman while making love to her how would she feel about it?

[norton comando]

thank you all for your replies.
@ kisswithafist , She didnt even own a mj cd untill he died , now we have 50 or so. I have been worried about the cult type thing too, the new forum (RTT) is super locked down and secret, this is the only reason i contiplated logging on as her, just to see if my suspisions were true, but i dont think there would be a way around the fact that i invaded her privacy , that would make things worse.
there have been over 500 people commit suicide over mj , same with elvis and jim morrison.

@coco its very touchy, you gotta understand she is a very sweet and inocent carring woman , if i tell her these things she will then know that i have been prying, i dont want to hurt her.
again thank you all.

[JJfromphilly]

Its bigger than michael jackson. She isnt getting what she needs out of life so she is running wild with this stuff... She may have obsessive disorders or just craves the feelings that go with this stuff. She may have a boring life afrter 8 years of marriage.

Its worth trying to work out. Try to joke about it and let her know she doesnt have to hide it from you.

[norton comando]

Its bigger than michael jackson. She isnt getting what she needs out of life so she is running wild with this stuff... She may have obsessive disorders or just craves the feelings that go with this stuff. She may have a boring life afrter 8 years of marriage.

Its worth trying to work out. Try to joke about it and let her know she doesnt have to hide it from you.

This is probly somwhat true, we live in the moutnains , back in the woods , there is not a whole lot to do here and we dont really have a whole group of friends ( couple is all) . That is why i let it go for soo long before really worring too much about it, but still why the secracy.
thank you all soo much , belive it or not this is really helping me thx

[norton comando]

just tellin somone about it here, maybe it will be easier to discuss it with her .