My GF watches porn, should I be concerned?

[OneQuestion]

Ok. So me and my girl have been together over 5 years, lived together over 4 years, and all is good. We are engaged and the relationship itself is great.

My question is, however, should I worry that my GF is watching porn... and usually porn that includes double penetration. That seems to be the main 'category', but other things are watched as well, often anal videos.

Now we have a great sex life, we have tried many things, I won't go into tons of details now, but we are not boring in bed at all! We have many toys, and experiment a lot. And we have done anal, so it isn't like she is watching and fantasizing about things we don't do. Of course the DP is what worries me. And we are a white couple, some of the videos include black males as well - not the majority or anything, but some.

My GF doesn't know that I know she watches porn. Please don't post about how I am invading her privacy! But every once in a while, I will click on her internet history tab(she should delete it if she doesn't want anyone seeing it!). Anyways, about 3 days a week there will be porn in there.

I can't bring it up with her, because she doesn't know that I know she watches it...

Don't know what to do, but it is kind of depressing me, like she would rather masterbate than have sex with me(not like we don't have sex, we do at least 3 times a week, usually more, but... why does she need to watch porn then, I am always here to please her...)

Anyways, just wondering a womens view on this.

Thanks!

[Petit Papillon]

Everybody watcjes porn, if not everyday then at least once in a while. Double penetration porn?So what? It could be a part of her sexual fantasy (doesn't mean she wants to try it!), that she can watch just on porn websites.

Cool down, it's normal.Especially if you still have good sex life. I masturbate from time to time ,for example when my bf is at work. It's just another way of having orgasm, but it doesn't mean I prefer that than my bf. Maybe she has high sex drive, or just likes to masturbate. But again, if you're still having normal sex life, don't worry, it's all good, IMO.

[SirWagginston]

Maybe you should look at it like an opportunity. If she's looking at porn, that could mean her sex drive is even higher than you thought. Smother her with even more loving!

[OneQuestion]

Thanks for your comments. I guess I shouldn't be worried. She doesn't seem to have a higher sex drive than me however. We do have sex often enough, but if it was my choice, it would be every day. She does deny me sometimes ;p

I guess it just concerns me to because this is a new thing. I just got her a laptop not too long ago, so I think since she has her own computer now, she looks at it. The problem I see with it is it seems like she is taking longer to orgasm during sex. That is fine, I last a good while, but a couple times even after 45minutes she hadn't had an orgasm so I finished then finished her with oral. That is fine, I will finish her if I finish first, but I am thinking her watching porn and masterbating is taking away from our sex life. I feel she would have stronger orgasm and more sexual feelings if she didn't waste them on the porn.

[Petit Papillon]

But that is normal as well. Orgasms through masturbation are generally MUCH quicker than those while having sex with a partner (am talking about women). It's not fault of porns Well you lucky guy, you're lucky that you make her have orgasms at all :p But it's really normal, you shouldn't be concerned

[Lipp]

It'd be possible to rewrite your entire opening post, but make her the guy and you the girl, and you'd have the case of why a lot of women are worried about their guys watching porn.

1. Watching porn is often a matter of convenience, not preference - it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to have sex (and as you say, your sex life is still active), but rather a sex drive that she'd might prefer to please in a more accessible, quick and easy manner sometimes.

2. Watching different-looking guys and settings can often be a case of simply wanting wanting to watch a different variety from what she's already getting, and does not necessarily mean that she prefers one over another. We've already had a case of a guy freaking out because of stereotypes when finding out that his girlfriend's ex was black and automatically assuming that he's inadequate in bed without any previous indication of it.

Essentially, as long as your sex life is still alive and kicking (and isn't being adversely affected by it) you shouldn't be worried. If she starts to develop a preference for it, it oughta be innocent enough to just say that you were using the browsing history to find a webpage you were on (unless you using her computer would be suspicious) and saw those links.

[OneQuestion]

I'm not saying her orgasms from porn are quicker than with sex - I know that is usual. I am saying I think her orgasms are taking longer now than before(when she didn't watch porn). And it doesn't seem like she is as excited in bed as when she didn't watch porn. You know how sexual 'pressure' I'll call it, will build up. And the longer you don't have sex, the better it feels. I guess I feel like she is cheating me out of being able to please her as much as I can. I don't know, I guess I am just an amazing boyfriend and I like to be the one to please her always, just wish she would let me and not watch porn...

I don't know, I guess I could talk with her about sex. Maybe have a conversation that goes along the lines of saying I want to be there whenever she is horny and she can always ask me to please her, and of course visa versa. I think she knows I am always there to please her, but maybe talking to her about that will make her ask me instead of going to the PC.

[dewilliams2]

Personally I think you should bring it in the bedroom...you know what kind she likes, surprise her with it....you already said you don't have a boring sex life.

I'm seeing a woman who watches porn and I think it is great but she also likes to watch it with me and it isn't a secret....I also know she masturbates and I don't care because we can't be together all the time and well...so do I....don't worry about it...it isn't like she is starring in one of those vids...then you'd have reason to worry.

[sheenietee]

Ok. So me and my girl have been together over 5 years, lived together over 4 years, and all is good. We are engaged and the relationship itself is great.

My question is, however, should I worry that my GF is watching porn... and usually porn that includes double penetration. That seems to be the main 'category', but other things are watched as well, often anal videos.

Now we have a great sex life, we have tried many things, I won't go into tons of details now, but we are not boring in bed at all! We have many toys, and experiment a lot. And we have done anal, so it isn't like she is watching and fantasizing about things we don't do. Of course the DP is what worries me. And we are a white couple, some of the videos include black males as well - not the majority or anything, but some.

My GF doesn't know that I know she watches porn. Please don't post about how I am invading her privacy! But every once in a while, I will click on her internet history tab(she should delete it if she doesn't want anyone seeing it!). Anyways, about 3 days a week there will be porn in there.

I can't bring it up with her, because she doesn't know that I know she watches it...

Don't know what to do, but it is kind of depressing me, like she would rather masterbate than have sex with me(not like we don't have sex, we do at least 3 times a week, usually more, but... why does she need to watch porn then, I am always here to please her...)

Anyways, just wondering a womens view on this.

Thanks!

It's not a big deal. As long as it's not obsessive, taking over her life and thoughts, or affecting your relationship or sex life, there is nothing to worry about. It's healthy and just a way of expressing her very active sex drive. Don't over think it!

[Petit Papillon]

Personally I think you should bring it in the bedroom...you know what kind she likes, surprise her with it....you already said you don't have a boring sex life.

I'm seeing a woman who watches porn and I think it is great but she also likes to watch it with me and it isn't a secret....I also know she masturbates and I don't care because we can't be together all the time and well...so do I....don't worry about it...it isn't like she is starring in one of those vids...then you'd have reason to worry.

Bring it in the bedroom? I watch double penetration pornos as well but I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TRY IT!! There are some things that we girls prefer just to fantasize about ...

[to-cinderella]

I'm not saying her orgasms from porn are quicker than with sex - I know that is usual. I am saying I think her orgasms are taking longer now than before(when she didn't watch porn). And it doesn't seem like she is as excited in bed as when she didn't watch porn. You know how sexual 'pressure' I'll call it, will build up. And the longer you don't have sex, the better it feels. I guess I feel like she is cheating me out of being able to please her as much as I can. I don't know, I guess I am just an amazing boyfriend and I like to be the one to please her always, just wish she would let me and not watch porn...

I don't know, I guess I could talk with her about sex. Maybe have a conversation that goes along the lines of saying I want to be there whenever she is horny and she can always ask me to please her, and of course visa versa. I think she knows I am always there to please her, but maybe talking to her about that will make her ask me instead of going to the PC.

Do you exactly know, that she needs longer to orgasm now because she is masturbating and watching porn, or maybe she is watching porn because its taking longer to orgasm now...? its like that question, what was first chicken or an egg?

i am also watching porns and those with double penetration, there is something about beeing these much horny, when people go these far and feeling so much free... but i would not want to try it myself... and i think soemtimes about those women: man are they healthy and in a good sport shape, that they can take it!

try to talk to your girl and figure out, that when you have sex, is this always at the same time, when she is fealling horny enough or is just going with you, because you go on her?

who is initiator when you are having sex? Is this you or her? Try to wait until she will be initiator and make sure you dont say no to her....

[Gigabitch]

I think you should watch porn with her. Porn isn't a threat to your relationship, fantasy does not equal reality. I fantasize about all kinds of things that I would never want to do in real life, but they still turn me on.

[OneQuestion]

I think you should watch porn with her. Porn isn't a threat to your relationship, fantasy does not equal reality. I fantasize about all kinds of things that I would never want to do in real life, but they still turn me on.

we have watched porn together in the past. And when we watched together she would make comments like, "that girl doesn't look like me" - and we would find a porn that had a brunette so it was more like we could imagine it was us. She also never used to want to watch any porn with black people in it, not that we are racist at all, just she never used to. So with me, her porn choices were much different.

[OneQuestion]

Do you exactly know, that she needs longer to orgasm now because she is masturbating and watching porn, or maybe she is watching porn because its taking longer to orgasm now...? its like that question, what was first chicken or an egg?

i am also watching porns and those with double penetration, there is something about beeing these much horny, when people go these far and feeling so much free... but i would not want to try it myself... and i think soemtimes about those women: man are they healthy and in a good sport shape, that they can take it!

try to talk to your girl and figure out, that when you have sex, is this always at the same time, when she is fealling horny enough or is just going with you, because you go on her?

who is initiator when you are having sex? Is this you or her? Try to wait until she will be initiator and make sure you dont say no to her....

Her orgasms take longer than they used to when she didn't masterbate. I can just tell sometimes she isn't as into sex as she usually is. She won't be as loud, or moan as much, won't cum as fast. Sometimes the sex is still amazing, and it is never bad, but it seems to be not as good as before. I guess I feel like her fantasizing about this all the time is causing problems. For her and me:

For me: well it is just a little concerning. Kind of makes me feel like I am not pleasing her enough because she has to look get her sex elsewhere, and by looking at porn scenes I can't reproduce.

For her: Masterbating / sex lowers sex drive(for the few hours or day that you did it). So she is kind of 'cheating' us out of better sex. She would enjoy it more, and so would I because I would know I was pleasing her more, if she wasn't watching porn/masterbating.

I know from experience as a man, that if I masterbate a lot, say Monday I am really horny, and I end up masterbating 3 times! If I do so, sex monday would SUCK, and last like 5minutes because I wouldn't be able to stay hard because I had already came 3 times today. Tuesday sex would be ok, I would stay hard and sex would be good, but not feel as good as it could. I realize females don't have to get 'hard' during sex, but they must still have the sexual build up, and she is wasting it on porn - I guess that is what bothers me.

[to-cinderella]

i was also watching porn with one ex-bf and my choices in watching it together or by myself were different!

there is a difference between men and women, that women leave porn in fantasy and men just want to practice it.. (well at least was in my case), so i was careful in choosing, not bringing him to think about things i will not do with him...