Did I deserve this?! I know we got physical too soon :(

[ryna88]

I met this guy a few months ago through mutual friends and he really really pursued me. I admit, I really liked talking to him and his personality. He was pretty aggressive in pursuing me - I'd always get texts and instant messages, practically every day. Just less than 2 weeks after we've met we hung out at my apartment and a few days later he invited me to come over his house....we watched a movie, during which he made a move on me and we ended up making out/hooking up after (no sex though). Honestly I didn't feel it was right to do that so early on and the next day, I called and texted him and he never responded. The next day, the same thing- no response...I saw him at a friends' house and he was very different - shy and couldn't look at me. We were supposed to go out the following weekend and I messaged him about it, he also never responded. I was stood up. When he finally got back to me, he texted me saying we can stay friends...but wouldn't talk to me in person or pick up my calls. That's most of the story in a nutshell. I haven't talked to him in a while now.

I'm pretty much dropping him, I just keep blaming myself for pushing him away. Or did I? I mean, maybe something like this would have happened in the future- if not then, later. My friends who know him say he's "not worth my time," and that he's a "very flakey guy," One friend even said he was a liar...

He's had a rough past- an ex cheated on him notoriously with a lot of men, and he comes from a family that's been through 2 divorces. So, I'm guessing just from that he hasn't had the best experiences with relationships.

For a long time, I blamed MYSELF for pushing him away by contacting him so much...Yeah, I know it was a bad move on my part. I learned. But did I deserve that kind of response? I just don't want to make any more of the same mistakes in the future.

[Charlie Boy II]

Relax, you didn't do anything wrong. Hooking up after two weeks is fine. Just forget this guy.

[ryna88]

Thanks Charlie. He did blame everything on me, saying I got too close too quickly. I just wanted to clear the air, not chase him down, but he took it as me chasing him, ugh. Yeah...I should forget him.

[Charlie Boy II]

Well maybe you did call and text him too much - you didn't give much detail on that part. I meant physically, what you did was fine.

Edit: hang on, are you a gay man?

[ryna88]

Yeah, I did. I learned the hard way. But the first time I texted him, he didn't respond immediately like he did in the 2 weeks before and he could at least told me he wasn't going to make our date the following week instead of ignoring me. So, I knew something was up that was not right. Oh, well. Yeah, physically, it's fine- I'm over that now.

[Charlie Boy II]

How many times/how often did you call and text?

[ryna88]

No, I'm in my early 20's, and I'm female, lol.

Looking back on it I did call a lot--I called him the day after and the day after that. Gave up for a while and texted him the night we were supposed to go out.

[Charlie Boy II]

well that doesn't sound too bad at all. Although I bet if you'd just waited he would have come back around eventually. But it doesn't sound like you gave up your dignity.

His behaviour sounds a bit odd - not typical guy behaviour at all. Normally, hooking up would just whet his appetite for the main course next time.

[ryna88]

Yeah, well, it was odd. My friends did say after that he's a flake, and stands them up too. Not worth it. I just was too hard on myself.

[cmacattack1]

Yeah, don't beat yourself up for it. A lot of women always think they did something wrong and it plays right into the hands of the guys. He may have issues with relationships (his family, his ex) but you shouldn't have to be punished for that. Those issues needed to be sorted out on his own.

[Gigabitch]

He's just weird and no, you didn't deserve that.

[intrepid1]

Move along-he wasn't the guy for you. You don't have to worry about making the same mistake again, because you didn't make one in the first place. Go out and find the right guy for you!

[QueenofCorona]

Sounds like an immature d-bag. I think he's one that just enjoys the pursuit/chase and then maybe gets bored once he "gets" a girl. You didn't do anything wrong, his loss. This kind of stuff will catch up with him.

[ryna88]

Thanks for the affirmation. I think I was so blind at first. Everyone's general consensus includes these words: immature, selfish, and jerk. I got the clue, moving on...