Worried about my ex...

[hoggy522]

Hey all.
I came out of a relationship with my ex nearly 3 months ago now, she finished with me for an American (Were British), they met on a Social Anxiety forum as she is a member of it, her anxiety i feel isnt that bad at all now, she has become a lot confident.

Anyhow, she got herself into a state and wrote a blog on the forum (Before the American man came over to meet her for first time), her blog was weirdly written and basically saying how stupid she is and whether this will turn out to be good or bad (The meeting).

Now a little history about the American guy, he's 30 my ex is 20, he REALLY wants to be with her dispite her sleeping with me a month ago again, He's on anti-depressants, on something for ADD, on sleeping tablets and some more which i dont know about, he sees a pshychartrist too frequently, he wants a committed relationship and my ex isnt sure shes ready for that just yet.

Now they met and my ex says she is really in love with him, then every now and again she'll txt me or say things about "us", and then start txting me about really fit guys at Uni...

Thats not what im here for, im worried as she is drinking really strong percentage alcohol like vodka, on a regular basis and even through the day....Ever since she dumped me this has started....
Shes not the girl i once knew, ive noticed shes really cold towards me ever since that American has been and gone, Like before she always asked to see me for a walk to talk about things, and now shes making up all kinds of excuses not to see me and talk. I feel she is having some sort of nervous breakdown and want to talk to her like we did before the American turned up, I just hope shes not bottling things up inside.....She even self harmed before the American came over and that really scared me to see the marks on her arm.

What could i do? I dont wanna be pushy with her, and everytime i invite her out shopping or something she turns me down when i know we could have a laugh and i could lift her spirits up.
Im just concerned about her state of mind, i wanna be a good friend and tbh i really hope she is happy with the American and that things turn out great as if she asked to give us another go i dont think i could, i wouldnt be able to trust her again.

[Doc Durian]

She broke up with you and started dating a loopy fellow online.


Leave her to her own devices. It's no longer your concern.

[OneQuestion]

I agree with doc... Don't talk to her anymore it is only hurting you, and you are only comforting her. You are having your heart ripped apart, while she is being consoled. Initiate NC now!

Stop worrying about her happieness, she isn't worrying about yours...

[Cbrider]

She broke up with you for a guy in America? Lmao, you are worried about this massive mess why?

[hoggy522]

Does anyone know, is it hard for a Uk citizen to get a visa to America? Ive heard its quite hard, time consuming and costly, so does any American here know of this?

[happyjule2009]

I know its easier said than done but you must go on. Let her learn from her own mistakes.

[Gigabitch]

Does anyone know, is it hard for a Uk citizen to get a visa to America? Ive heard its quite hard, time consuming and costly, so does any American here know of this?

I know more Brits working here legally than any other nationality. It can't be that hard.

[lovelyladie]

I think you should get on with your life she left you!!

[kai]

Leave her alone, brother. She's a mess. She's going down, and she'll take you, too. You tried to help, she didn't take it. Her choice. Move on for your good future.

[Mish]

She's on the path of self destruction and there's nothing you can do for her. Leave her be before you get caught in the whirlwind.

[Incognito]

It seems to me that after dumping you she wanted to stay friendly by sending texts and asking you to spend time with her. She is/was using you for emotional support. That's what therapists are for. If she doesn't want your support anymore then its time for you to move on and not look back. She WILL crash and burn in time. Make sure you aren't in contact with her anymore when it happens so that you don't feel bad/responsible/compelled to do more than you already have.