Guys, if you were in his shoes.. would you ever contact her again?

[sheenietee]

We met at a party and we made out and did some other stuff the first night (no sex). When we woke up in the morning he wanted me to come back to his apartment which I declined.

He constantly was texting me and flirting with me and asking when he could see me.

Then a few weekends later we had sex(he didn’t last long) and then he avoided seeing me but still texted me somewhat. I finally asked him that thursday to hang out and he got even less personal.

I called him out on it saying "do you always take girls' virginities and just drop them?" and he responded"Here's the truth. I dunno why what happened did but I didn't really think we would end up actually having sex. Guess I can't control that part of my life, but I have been busy lately, and school isn't getting any easier. I have only taken the virginity of 2 girls. Think what you want though."

I responded and he said "You're fine. I was embarrassed and that didn't help. let break happen (our sb starts tomorrow) and then after we can try to hang out. If you want to, but let's not get serious again, I'm not trying to play games."

He really is a nice guy and not a player type, I think what happened was he just didn’t want a relationship right now and when we had sex that scared him off because he thought sex=serious relationship(which is NOT what I equated it with). I think we did both like eachother though.

I still kind of like him and thought that we would have gotten along really well. I don’t think I should contact him cause that would make me seem clingy.

I know it sounds like it's over (and it probably is) but since the only thing that ended it was a superficial fear... do you think there's any hope he'd contact me again?

[cmacattack1]

The confusing part is that he didn't last long but you STILL like him? Sorry totally kidding.

I don't know if I like the path this is following. Played very hot and then got sex, played very cold. I can certainly see your confusion. And the texts, while they are to try and make this seem like it's not a big deal, just added to the confusion. It's difficult to know what he really meant by his comments and what tone he used them with, which works doubly for you too. Doesn't seem good though.

I love how guys will say something like "Oh, school is sooo busy right now." Why weren't you busy when you were constantly texting me before huh? Even the best students, when they like somebody, will still talk to them during finals week. Just my personal experience.

By all means, if you like him despite his coldness, give it a little time and see if he wants to do something again. Maybe outside of the realm of partying and hooking up. You can learn alot from his reaction. Doesn't want to? Does want to but doesn't seem into it when you do hang out? Try not to get your hopes up.

[geminigirl1234]

Hey,

Saying this out of personal experience, and also from reading lots of relationship books, let the man chase you. If he pulls back, you pull back. Remember you are expensive, and rare. Men stay with girls that are expensive and rare.In other words, if you love and respect yourself, the man in your life will too. If he is pulling away from you/acting distinterested, you do that too. That doesnt mean be cold or rude, I mean you should be friendly....but dont make the impression that you NEED him. Men sense this about a woman.

Anywyas, my best recommendation for you is to read the book why men marry bitches.
Its very eye opening.
I have been in many situations like yours, where I would spend nights, days, if not months, thinking about the same guy, the things I did, didnt do, etc.....

The interesting and ironic thing in life though, the more you focus on yourself, and focus on how expensive and beautiful and wonderful you are, the men in your life will take notice, and will want to be a part of your life. Being happy on the inside, and not letting any man weaken you, or make you insecure, is what actually attracts the good guys.

Also, as the author of the book said, there is nothing wrong with sleeping with a man (After you get to know him), what is important though is how you act afterwards. You should always be a strong, independent, and happy woman, in all stages of a relationship, even in the bumpy roads of the relationship.

The author says that men crave this type of women.
Usually with most of us not so relationship educated women/insecure women, we tend to become so fragile and vulnurable when a guy pulls away. But that is the opposite effect you are aiming for. If a guy pulls away, its his loss, and you should treat as no big deal. Then the guy will take notice of that, and think hey, where did that girl go? How come she is not texting me anymore. His intrigue for you will go up.

Anywyas, like I said, its a wonderful book, and I highly recommend you purchase it.

Best of luck hun!!!!

[1337lizard]

Hey geminigirl, stop ****ing advertising. I swear to god I read one more time that men like bitches I'm going to hack your computer and infest with a couple hundred viruses.

Men DO NOT like bitches. That's why we call them bitches.

Your guy seems like a nice enough guy. It seems to me that based on your responses he's looking for a nice girl, not a bitch, so I wouldn't take the advice of gemini who appears to be going through posts and telling people to buy a book (GTFO please). honestly, your best bet is to just openly communicate with him about how you feel. If you tell him hey, I'm sorry things fell out the way they did, can we please start over? I don't want to ruin something potentially good with a dumb mistake before it's even started. Then ask him to get some coffee or something. If he's still on the fence or uninterested after that then he's a lost cause.

[OneQuestion]

I called him out on it saying "do you always take girls' virginities and just drop them?"

why oh why would you give your virginity to some guy you met at a bar, after only a couple dates...

[sAsAk1]

why oh why would you give your virginity to some guy you met at a bar, after only a couple dates...

Just my thought... >.< Too bad I can't say to not ever do that again...

[kenned]

why are people so obsessed with books and movies, and finding the recipe for the perfect relationship. it doesnt exist! and everyone works differently, just figure out what you value in a relationship, and find someone who values the same.

and oh, sorry to say, but i think you just got played. i have, sadly, kind of done the same. its been a while since you have last had sex, and you start to get more and more desperate, and then when you finally get a girl to sleep with you, even if you thought you actually had feelings for her or something, it turns out to just be about the sex. and then comes the whole part, where you try to pull away, even though you might have said some very comitting stuff to get with the girl.
not something im proud of, but im sure im not the only guy to ever do so.