WTH? My ex just stopped speaking to me for no reason...

[shecaughtstars]

My ex and I broke up about 18 months ago. Our relationship was really good, and we had even talked marriage quite a bit.

We broke up mutually. I had been really depressed and didn't want to burden him with it. In addition, I wanted to travel while he wanted to stay put. He also doesn't have a lot of long range goals for himself, which really bothered me. He wanted to split because he needed some "time apart". Although the decision was mutual, it was still very painful. We continued acting like we were together for a long time, until he left to go on a tour and then we decided to stop talking so often.

My friend died while he was gone and he was an absolute jerk about it. It took me a really long time, but I finally cut my ex out of my life because I felt like it was totally rude and unfair. I reconnected with him around Christmastime this year. I should mention that I did end up traveling and moved half way around the world during this time and was able to forgive him after a long thought process.

Now I've returned and after a year and a half, we're finally back in the same city. We talked on the phone for a long time and had plans to meet up. Then, I got sick and had to cancel and he was totally cool with it (I get sick a lot, which he knows, I have a condition, but whatever that's not important to the story). Later, I tried to make alternate plans with him, and he seemed to want to, but seemed hesitant. I had texted him once and he never responded. So I just asked him (by e-mail) if he didn't want to see me or seeing me made him feel uncomfortable. No response. He later poked me on facebook. I reassured him I wasn't looking to get back together him (he thinks all his exes are in love with him) and that I had moved on. In fact, I am interested in someone else (I didn't say that though). No response.

It drove me crazy for weeks on end, especially since we run around with a few mutual friends and do have the possibility of running into one another. So I just told him if seeing me made him feel uncomfortable, he should have said something and it's really rude to just ignore me.

No response.

WTF? If he is scared to see me for some reason, I wish he'd just SAY instead of being rude and not responding....this is driving me nuts.

[Doc Durian]

He might be wondering about your mental happiness/state right now, if you were depressed prior.

Being depressed is hell... watching and waiting for things to change, as a partner, is an equal hell.

He could be hung up about the past.

Maybe initiate deep and meaningful discussion with him about your current state?

[Petit Papillon]

Do you care? He's your ex. Ex = past.

[shecaughtstars]

I'm pretty sure he knows I'm not depressed from the last conversation we had.

I care because it's kind of rude. Ex=past, yes, but I feel like I did something wrong.

[shecaughtstars]

He told me he was just "busy". Uh, okay...

[misombra]

he don't want to talk with you anymore. sorry.

[lahnnabell]

He ignored your pointed requests for a direct answer, and then resorted to poking you on Facebook? He's very immature emotionally, and instead of dealing with an uncomfortable subject, he's trying to avoid it. Don't be blinded by your history with this man. He has not grown up despite how much time you spent apart. Move on.

[davidtorres]

hahaha he doesnt give a crap about you anymore.

[Gigabitch]

Let it go. Maybe he's just experiencing drama exhaustion. I think you both should move on.

[shecaughtstars]

hahaha he doesnt give a crap about you anymore.

Helpful.

He wrote me a long e-mail saying he wasn't trying to ignore me, blah blah blah and he still really wants to see me. Eh. I'll believe it when I see it.

[Libralicious]

The situation with your ex kinda sorta sounds like my past with my ex, except..... I've decided to end contact with my ex because of the past. I"m trying to learn from it. BUT..... I still have deep feelings for him and I felt that in order for me to get over him, I have to completely cleanse him from my life..... however, I don't want that fully.

He claims I've hurt his feelings and that I was "the one girl he could count on no matter what". But after all the places he's seen and his track record, kinda hard to believe that.

Anyway, I think it'd be best for you to move on. He sounds bitter and trying to stay away from you and maybe he has unresolved feelings from the past? I'm not sure. BUt I think you two need to talk about it though so you all can have a better understanding of whats going on. I also need to take this advice because it's bothering me. I am okay with whatever outcome may happen but this 'Not knowing' is ridiculous and old. But he's not responding to my emails though.

Anyways. Good luck, not a man but I just wanted to respond because I can sort of understand where you're coming from.

[1337lizard]

It sounds like he has a girl he's chasing and doesn't want to hurt things by hanging out with the ex. Either that or he just doesn't want to deal with any drama or doesn't want to risk reconnecting romantically when history has proven that it ends badly. I would say if that's the case then he's doing it poorly. The right way would be to tell you what's up then end contact, but it's rare for people to do that nowadays.