And now what?

[tdg89]

Hi,

I met a very cute girl in the gym. Yesterday, I talked to her for the first time. I was really nervous, but I have a good feeling about it. I'll try to outline the conversation below.

Me: Do you always train alone?
She: Yes. It's better. I used to go with friends but we would only talk and laugh.
Me: I know what you mean.
She: Do you train alone?
Me: I usually go with 2 friends, but they aren't here today.
She: You come here pretty often, right?
Me: About 4 times a week. I life nearby, so whenever I want to train I get on my bike and come over here.
She: Okay, I've seen you here before.
Me: You life nearby as well, right?
She: Yes, in ....
Me: Okay, I saw you came here by bicycle.

Then, I said I was going to get some water. The conversation was really hard because I was so nervous. I almost stuttered and we both had a hard time to look in each other's eyes. Still, I have a good feeling about it. When she left the gym, she walked by me. She said something like: Well, bye.

My question: How do I continue? I really like her and I want to get closer to her as soon as possible, without being pushy. But I don't want to get in the 'friend-zone' either. Should I continue with some small talk and get to know her better first? Show interest in her by asking about school and stuff like that? When is it time to ask for her email or phone number?

Thanks!

[Gigabitch]

Good for you for having the guts to just go up and talk to her. Even though you were nervous, it is much better than gazing at her longingly from behind the elliptical machine, you know?

The time to ask is soon. Your window of opportunity is actually kind of small- if you wait too long, she'll conclude that you're either not really all that interested or that you have no balls. Do it within a week. be respectful and ask her if she has a boyfriend first. Don't do that weaselly "let's be friends first" thing.

[VincenzoG91]

Small talk until the eye contact gets more steady.

Then try flirting. If she isn't interested, she will make some kind of discouraging remark in response to flirtation, like mentioning her boyfriend or fiancee, even if she doesn't really have one.

From there, see if you can bring up a topic that might lead towards a date, like talking about a movie that you're thinking about seeing, or a restaurant that you want to try. If she is interested in you, she may express enthusiasm for the topic, the movie or restaurant that you mentioned. Invite her and see how she responds.

[tdg89]

I'm probably seeing her on Monday in the gym again. What can I talk about with her? I don't know her that well. Should I ask about school, hobbies and other basic stuff like that?

[VincenzoG91]

It's odd, but if you ask people for help or advice, they sometimes like you more. So you ask her advice related to working out at the gym. Like if she's on the treadmill or stationary bike, ask her to show you how to use it, pointing at the one next to hers. Or ask her if she knows anything about stretching exercises or maybe even aerobics or yoga. Don't ask her much about herself at first, that might make her a little paranoid. Maybe try some generic small talk, like the weather.

[all alone]

I would suggest just next time you see her, go up and say hi, ask her how her weekend or week was.. small talk like that, then after ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee with you sometime. Something simple, low key, minimal amount of pressure.