"good girls" vs. "skanks"

[MissAnn]

Ok, so this post will be full of speculation about people who I only know through tabloid magazines. I know this is ridiculous, but using celebrities as an example is easier since everyone knows them, so bear with me......

Recently the story came out that Sandra Bullock's husband had cheated on her with a woman that, according to the tabloids, appears to be a trashy, porn-star, white supremacist skank. Meanwhile, there are still porn-stars coming out of the woodwork claiming they slept with Tiger Woods.

Both Jessie James (Sandra's husband) and Tiger appear to have married naturally beautiful and classy women, but then cheated on them with (allow me to be politically incorrect), trashy whores. I know two men in my personal life that have done the same to their wives.

My question to men is - why? Is the the old Madonna/whore complex raising its ugly head? Do men want a nice woman to raise their kids, but a skanky sex-pot on the side? Is this because some men find trashy sluts more sexually attractive, but don't want to bring them home to mom? Does this stem from the fact that these women, especially in Tiger's case, were willing to do sexual things (threesomes, anal, S&M) that the wives were not so the men took it where they could? Is it just that trashier broads are more willing to sleep with a married man and then more likely to run to the tabloids after?

As a woman, I just don't get it, if I am with a nice, decent, man I have zero desire to have crazy sex with some sketchy looking dude. I was debating this topic with my male friends, and got a variety of reasons. I was wondering about the men's views of this on this board?

* I just want to be clear that I know not ALL men are like this-but it seems to be common with some men.

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah I was talking about it with my bf as well. HE also said he doesn't understand how Sandra's husband could cheat on her with that rubbish:

I wouldn't ****ing touch this shit. She looks like a bad dream,nazi bad dream. MY GOD , SHe's soooooooooooo ****ing ugly, I just don't get it why with her??? I would understand if he would cheat on her wsith some hotty but with ****ing this? It's just disgusting... I hope he gets nothing from the divorce. SKunk

[Gigabitch]

I was just talking to my husband about this today. An old boss of mine has apparently left his wonderful, sweet, hot wife and is now with some woman of "lesser quality", shall we say.

He think it has to do with men getting married before they've worked out their curiosities by dating. He thinks any woman who marries a man who hasn't sown plenty of wild oats is asking for trouble. I must say, I have to agree. I'll ask my brother's opinion about it. He's dated a pile of skanks in the past and is now with a lovely girl who could be a Disney princess.

[Asip4u]

I think guys like that have issues to begin with so it's not something that just happened. It's hard to read people especially if you are in love (you ignore negatives) so you kinda go with the flow and eventually it comes back to haunt you.

[VincenzoG91]

I won't defend that kind of behavior, because I think that it's immature and idiotic. But as a guy, I do understand it. There is a significant discrepancy between the amount of sex that men want and women want. Sure, there are outliers and special cases, but let's face it, prostitution has been around for a few thousand years, because when demand exceeds supply, there is money to be made.

From what has been made public about the Tiger Woods situation, it's clear that he has a very high sex drive and his wife has a low sex drive. And it wouldn't be unusual if her libido dropped even more after having each kid. As a rich and famous guy, there are going to be women throwing themselves at Tiger. Actually, the only puzzling aspect about it all is that apparently there weren't any really attractive women throwing themselves at Tiger. Or maybe he has really bad eyesight.

Anyway, a decent married man may eventually become somewhat dissatisfied with the quantity and quality of sex in his marriage, but he lives with it. Maybe he tries to work with his wife to improve things, or at least compromise on a tolerable amount of sex. Or maybe he spends more time jerking off. Or maybe he eventually seeks a divorce. But he doesn't cheat on his wife. A more selfish and unethical married man will just get whatever sex he can on the side. A mistress, an affair, maybe just the occasional prostitute. Whatever. Since they aren't looking for a serious relationship, just a sexual one, they are probably more interested in the trashier women.

[vashti]

From what has been made public about the Tiger Woods situation, it's clear that he has a very high sex drive and his wife has a low sex drive. And it wouldn't be unusual if her libido dropped even more after having each kid. .

Heh.. you make it sound like it was HER fault.

Anyway, that's bullshit. You have no idea if they had mismatched sex drives... you are just assuming. He has money, fame, and lots of women throwing themselves at him. Increased opportunity = increased likelihood. Infidelity often has very little to do with sex.

[MissAnn]

Heh.. you make it sound like it was HER fault.

Anyway, that's bullshit. You have no idea if they had mismatched sex drives... you are just assuming. He has money, fame, and lots of women throwing themselves at him. Increased opportunity = increased likelihood. Infidelity often has very little to do with sex.

So, do you think trashier women are just more likely to throw themselves at rich, famous married guys? Personally, that is my theory, but my male friends seemed to think it was just that these men wanted to do sexual things that either they wouldn't do with the mother/stepmother of their kids (madonna/whore complex), or that their wives weren't into (and I 'm not blaming the wives for this, I think everyone has the right to set reasonable sexual boundaries and it doesn't give their partners the right to cheat).

[QueenofCorona]

I was left for a "skank" in college. It totally broke me. I was/am kinda quiet and demure and hadn't been with many guys and wasn't much of a partier during that time, was concerned with school more so than staying out late/drunk every night. I loved him but had my own life and was independent. She was a "party whore" she had hooked up with many of his friends and was loud and had her tongue pierced and flirted with anyone with a penis. She had bleached blonde hair and dressed provocative and loved drama and was scandalous. A friend of his later told me that she had confessed she was very proud of herself for taking him away from me.

Fast forward 8 years later. I get a call from him. He got my number from one of our mutual friends. They had married and were divorcing. She dragged him through hell and back and took him for all he was worth. I don't feel sorry for him, only for their daughter who has to put up with their BS. She's already remarried and has another kid with the new husband. I got my apology after all those years, he actually had the audacity to ask me, "Jen...how could you let me do that to you?"

[vashti]

So, do you think trashier women are just more likely to throw themselves at rich, famous married guys?

No. i think that he just wanted something different than what he had at home. Variety is the spice of life.

[the_robot]

Maybe they want to try things their wifes aren't wiling to do, so they look for it in other places?

[VincenzoG91]

Heh.. you make it sound like it was HER fault.

Anyway, that's bullshit. You have no idea if they had mismatched sex drives... you are just assuming. He has money, fame, and lots of women throwing themselves at him. Increased opportunity = increased likelihood. Infidelity often has very little to do with sex.

I consider Tiger to be entirely at blame for his situation, though I would be surprised if his wealth wasn't a significant factor in Elin's decision to marry him. It's possible that she threw herself at him, too, and the big difference between her and the other women is that she happens to be his wife. And once she was married, she didn't see the need to indulge his interest in sex as often.

We do know that he was having sex with a lot of other women. If he was getting plenty of sex at home, it's possible that he might still hook up with one or two women on the road from time to time, but a dozen? Or more?

And yes, I am assuming a mismatch in sex drive, because that is the default human condition. There are male and even female prostitutes who service female clients, but they are quite rare. The vast majority of people making money from selling their sexual services are selling to men, because men want more sex. It's beyond dispute. And look at same-sex partners. Lesbian couples often face the problem of "lesbian bed death" while gay men face a much bigger problem with widespread STDs, because they are having lots of sex with too many different partners. And right here at LF, we've got at least three current threads about guys who aren't getting enough sex from their partners, and no threads from women who aren't getting enough sex.

Women just don't understand how much guys truly think about sex. When I was younger, it was almost constant. If I really concentrated on my work, I could go maybe five or ten minutes without thinking about sex. And there are other guys who are even more extreme, like apparently Tiger Woods.

[Incognito]

Heh.. you make it sound like it was HER fault.

Anyway, that's bullshit. You have no idea if they had mismatched sex drives... you are just assuming. He has money, fame, and lots of women throwing themselves at him. Increased opportunity = increased likelihood. Infidelity often has very little to do with sex.

That statement makes perfact sense from a woman's standpoint. I suspect that many women who cheat do so for every other reason besides sex. Men, however, cheat because of a want/need of sex. There are exceptions to every general statement like that, but it holds true in most cases.

Also would someone enlighten me as to what "lesbian bed death" is?

[vashti]

I consider Tiger to be entirely at blame for his situation, though I would be surprised if his wealth wasn't a significant factor in Elin's decision to marry him. It's possible that she threw herself at him, too, and the big difference between her and the other women is that she happens to be his wife. And once she was married, she didn't see the need to indulge his interest in sex as often.

We do know that he was having sex with a lot of other women. If he was getting plenty of sex at home, it's possible that he might still hook up with one or two women on the road from time to time, but a dozen? Or more?

And yes, I am assuming a mismatch in sex drive, because that is the default human condition. There are male and even female prostitutes who service female clients, but they are quite rare. The vast majority of people making money from selling their sexual services are selling to men, because men want more sex. It's beyond dispute. And look at same-sex partners. Lesbian couples often face the problem of "lesbian bed death" while gay men face a much bigger problem with widespread STDs, because they are having lots of sex with too many different partners. And right here at LF, we've got at least three current threads about guys who aren't getting enough sex from their partners, and no threads from women who aren't getting enough sex.

Women just don't understand how much guys truly think about sex. When I was younger, it was almost constant. If I really concentrated on my work, I could go maybe five or ten minutes without thinking about sex. And there are other guys who are even more extreme, like apparently Tiger Woods.

i know you are a newbie, but there are plenty of women who have posted threads about their men not giving it to them often enough. And as a woman, I know what my friends are saying... some of their husbands are heading towards impotence. You are dreaming of you think women don't have sex drives and that men are the only ones wanting it.

For men, it's not usually about lack of access to sex - it's about variety. Those guys visiting whores aren't necessarily not getting it at home; rather they may not be getting it with 20 year olds any more. or maybe their wives have normal boobs, and they want to touch fake ones. Or maybe their wife is blond and they want to try a red head. or maybe they want to get a blow job from a black woman, or maybe their wife is clean-looking, and they want to feel nasty by doing a skanky, tattooed crack whore.

[VincenzoG91]

Also would someone enlighten me as to what "lesbian bed death" is?

That's when a lesbian couple completely stops having sex, because neither one of them has much interest in sex anymore.

[VincenzoG91]

i know you are a newbie, but there are plenty of women who have posted threads about their men not giving it to them often enough. And as a woman, I know what my friends are saying... you are dreaming of you think women don't have sex drives and that men are the only ones wanting it.

For men, it's not usually about lack of access to sex - it's about variety. Those guys visiting whores aren't necessarily not getting it at home; rather they may not be getting it with 20 year olds any more. or maybe their wives have normal boobs, and they want to touch fake ones. Or maybe their wife is blond and they want to try a red head. or maybe they want to get a blow job from a black woman, or maybe their wife is clean-looking, and they want to feel nasty by doing a skanky, tattooed crack whore.

I'm not a newbie in life, I'm 44 years old. Tell me, where are all the prostitutes that service these frustrated women who aren't getting enough sex? Why is the vast majority of porn targeted at men, either straight or gay? Most strip clubs feature female dancers, and the vast majority of the patrons are men. Selling sex to men, either literally or symbolically is a vast and profitable economic enterprise.