I dont understand!

[jim2929]

I love my girlfriend more than anything but she has developed an obsession with xbox live and started to be very different with me and I dont know what to do about it.

I have made a mistake of knowing she was upto somthing and snooping a bit, eventually that came out and we had an argument about trust and now she says we dont trust each other. I do trust her but not when shes being like this to me.

So now shes keeping things from me, literally talking to random guys on xbox for hours on end, from the start of the day to the end, up till 5:30 am, then sleeping till 10 and back on. I feel like I am no longer much of a priority and she has no care.

Yes i have tried to confront her, she has told me to give her time for the whole trust thing and she admits she is being different. She says she loves me (but it feels reluctantly). The whole relationship feels like its turned on its head in a week when we had something perfect for so long, i just dont believe that small error I made of mistrust can lead to all of this and the unhealthy obsession is really getting to me.

I feel like getting online friends and doing the same, keeping things about them from her but I couldn't. If she didn't want to be with me I think she would have broken up with me already so there must be something there.

I am so lost, girls+guys help me

[cmacattack1]

Ah it's not that simple. Much of the time they will keep you around much longer than necessary until they are detached from you and can make a transition to a new guy more smoothly. I would be concerned with this because I have read stories on this very forum about guys that have lost their girls to other guys on XBox Live. It progressed from game friends to talking on the phone and so on and so forth.

Unfortunately the snooping just made things worse. It gives her some ammunition against you to keep herself validated in what she is doing right now. Communication is key and that was a break down of it. It's true that she probably would have denied it anyway but it takes that as the first step.

Anybody that plays XBox that much is living an unhealthy lifestyle. Being a former big video game nerd myself I can attest to that. Her life has to be suffering in other ways too. Clearly your relationship, but what about her work, school, physical health? Having a talk with her about this and opening the lines of communication is probably your best bet in the beginning. You don't have to accuse her and say this is what needs to be done, but maybe ask her some questions. Why is she doing this? Does she think this is right? Where does she see this relationship going and is she okay with spending less time together? That kind of thing. Really get her thinking and going here. It's very possible she might not respond to that but you should try that first. Then evaluate your options later.