Friend thinks it will be weird to go out.

[kvnband]

OK, if you read my other thread, you found out that I asked out a VERY close friend and she said yes. We held hands the rest of the way home, but both of us like to take it slow, so we still haven't kissed. Today, however, she pulled me into a room and said we needed to 'talk'. I knew it was bad. She went on to say that she feels like she's not being fair to me. I asked her about what and she said that she wasn't sure she liked me the way I liked her. The thing is that just days ago, when I did ask her out, she told me that she had been thinking of me for about a month, (we worked together every day about a month prior) and that she had been waiting for me to ask. But now, she says that she's not sure??? WTF! She then went on to say that she was afraid that it would be weird when we kissed. Because we're such good friends. I know for a fact, however, that if you fall in love with a close friend, it is just that much better. Friends know you better than a random stranger you meet. I think she's just having a problem with the transition from friend to girlfriend. I finally talked her into giving this at least another week (Hell, we haven't even kissed yet. How does she know it'll be weird?). The thing is, that I think unless I can convince her otherwise, she is going to dump me after this week. Should I just pour out my heart to her and tell her how I feel? I really like her A LOT, and I just don't want to let her get away. She's one of the few girls that has ever made my stomach do somersaults and I just would die if she left me.

Please give me some advice on what to do. Does she like me? Is she just afraid of the unknown (what it will be like to be an actual girlfriend?)

Thank you.

[jakki2903]

I think she's scared that the friendship will be ruined or that after a while you might become bored of her - dump her - then she's lost you and the friendship. I would say she is being like this because she values your friendship so much so go easy on her and try to make that first kiss happen. I mean taking it slow is one thing but your going at a snails pace!! Feedback how you get on - all the best - don't give up!!

[abercromqt20]

maybe after working so closely with u for so long she got to wondering maybe she had feelings for you, but after a few dates realized that wasn't the case. or maybe like jakki said she might just be afraid of losing ur friendship. i don't really know, only she knows for sure. just lay it all out, let her know how u truely feel, and she'll let u know what shes thinking.

[KirstyM]

She's probably just afraid of jeopardising your friendship, or maybe the fact that your other friends arent exactly over the moon is getting to her. Dont give up on her.

[Rach]

I think she's just afraid of losing the friendship you share, because once you cross the line from friends to more (girlfriend/boyfriend, or just sharing a kiss), it's hard to go back to before that event. Like that saying "Friends can become lovers, but lovers friends...never"

If you really like her, pursue her then, but if she begins to feel uncomfortable, you may lose a good friend as well....

Good luck!

[kvnband]

Thanks for the tips...last night I decided I couldn't wait for responses, so I went and wrote a letter..and it all just sort of poured out...actually 4 pages worth. I explained my feelings for her...and, well, today she wrote back a very nice letter about how I was right to a "T".

The note said that she didn't know what to do around me any more...and that is was weird to her. She was afraid that it would be weird forever until I got bored with her and broke up with her (it's happened to her before)

Excerpt from note:

I love you more than anything (except God and my mother) And I don't want to give up on us. I really, honestly don't. But I also don't want it to be weird between us. And now I don't know what else to say...I've hit a blank wall.

So now I'm a little more confused than before. Does she want to stay with me or is she giving up so it's not weird? She was smiling all day today though and was holding my hand, etc..the normal girlfriend stuff. I asked her if the note made any impact on her thoughts of me, and she said it did. At the end of her note she also wrote:

For future reference, if you ever want to get a girl in the sack, just write her a note like the one you wrote me. Just a little tip.

We have an overnight trip this weekend and I plan on her sleeping in my room, so hopefully we can get some of these jitters settled. To jakki, yes I'm VERY slow. First girlfriend that I really honest to God liked (loved even) and I don't want to screw it up. The note that I wrote really came from the heart, and I think it showed her how I really feel about her. Only time will tell. I will come back here monday and let everyone know how the weekend went.

Thanks again.

[abercromqt20]

good luck on ur trip!.....

[cyberken]

Soemtimes you cross the line to friendship and it can be the point of no return.
If you can't be more than friends remember this
"If you can't be 100% with someone in your life, Better to have someone 75% than to have someone 0%"

Cyberken

[kvnband]

OK, trip went over OK. The thing is though that we were too tired to do anything. We just cuddled and slept. Last night I was over at her house and as I was leaving, I finally got that first kiss in. And she didn't seem to feel weird about it, so it's looking like this might work. Our friends that were mad about the relationship are now OK. (I had a heart to heart with each of them...they both cried)

Thank you for all your help

[KirstyM]

Awwh I hope it works out for you.

[babyangel0519]

I hope everything works out for you, and that you and this girl are very happy together!

Good luck

[abercromqt20]

thats so good that u had a heart to heart with ur friends.... good luck with everything. i hope it all works out for ya

[Fillmore Slim]

she doesn't want you. move on.