Should i wait for him or move on?

[mimsicles]

Hi there. 6 months ago my 3 year relationship was ended by my boyfriend because he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Anyway I gave him space and 10 days later he came back begging for another chance which i gave him.

On wednesday he said the exact same words he said 6 months ago, that he didn't think he wanted to be with me anymore. He cried his eyes out as i left and said that we'd meet in a month after time apart.

Do you think there is another women, or should i just move on and try and forget about him. I love him dearly and would wait a month because i think we have a relationship thats worth saving.

ANy advice would be appriciated!!

[lahnnabell]

How old are you? This seems to be a current trend on the threads right now. Young people (or people who just don't know what they want) try and do this trial break-ups to "see how they feel" or because they "need some space". Sometimes it is because they meet someone new and exciting and they want to feel that initial spark again (or to f*ck around). What you realize over time is that the honeymoon period doesn't last for any couple, and then it becomes about compromise and communication and commitment to keep things together.

Do what you feel is best, but giving in too easily will only result in his pulling this again, and that's damaging for you and the relationship in general.

[cmacattack1]

Was this out of the blue? I guess it always seems like that when you are the dumpee, but even you should pick up on whether he is lovey dovey anymore, communicates to you, if fighting has increased, etc.

It's amazing how we don't take the importance of breakups to heart. It's almost like it's part of every relationship and everybody goes through it. You shouldn't view this as a cycle and that he will just magically come back. He might if he doesn't have what he is looking for and gives into lonliness. But you break up when you want it to be over.

Take a good look at the relationship and if he comes back begging, think about it. Begging isn't attractive and would you want to take him back out of guilt or because you still love them?

[Gigabitch]

If this hadn't happened before, it would be a different story. This is becoming a pattern, though, and that's not good.

I think you should tell him you're tired of being jerked around and that he shouldn't count on you sticking around if he goes through with this again.

[xxazurexx]

I've always found that when they say they need space, don't know what they want, distance, it's because there is usually (not always), another woman waiting in the wings. or they have their eye on someone.

Anyway, this guy either wants to be with you, or he doesn't. Anyone taking time out, to decide if thy wanted to be with me would be long gone.
And of course anyone who truly wants you, doesnt have to think about it.

[Incognito]

I'll have to agree with a few here by saying that he either has another woman who he is considering being with (which obviously isn't right to do to either woman), or that he has some sort of emotional problem. In either case it isn't your fault, and if he ended it twice he isn't the man for you.

[flo]

I also agree with the other replies, that possibly there's someone else. I've just gone through something like this recently so i know how hurt and confused you must be feeling, (My ex's ex came back and he realised he wasn't over her. After months of messing aound and being 'confused', and me believing he still wanted me after we broke up, I realised he was just waiting to see what his ex wanted and I was his back up option.) so don't wait around. We were together for nearly 11 months and although all but the last two (and since) were amazing, I feel like I've wasted my time. I regret waiting around. And I wouldn't if I was you, especially as he has done this before to you.

I know it's hard, I won't lie i'm going through it now. I really fell for my ex and I know you probably are in love with him but he is only doing this because you are letting him. Once you say anything about walking away and giving him space, I'm sure he'll begin to have different ideas. If you are doing the break of 1 month now, don't contact him at all. Let him know what it is like to miss you and not have you around. And if he does come back, tell him that he needs to be sure that he wants this because it is not fair on you and I'm sure you don't want to go through all this again. And if he doesn't, and you decide to go your separate ways, then he was never realy worth it anyway.

The one thing I've learnt is to focus on yourself. He is focusing on himself by admitting this, so make sure you do things that make you happy. Really try not to think about him or what he is doing. Once you get into that frame of mind, it really does help. I'm beginning to get there now.

I hope everything works out the way you want it to.