Not sure if she likes me the way i like her?

[slimla]

Hello!

I met a girl through my roommate. We actually met at a party he brought her too and ended up "drunk kissing." I got her number and waited about a week (not here to discuss how many days lol) and then I asked her out. We went out and shot guns for fun at a firing range and then after we had some drinks. I dropped her off and we kissed. I got a text after "you are so much fun"
and I returned You are too and a great kisser =)

anyways from my past screw ups I felt that maybe I was pressuring them too much by contacting right away. I waited about 4 days after and then since we were on texting terms (she never texts right back always a few hours after so I do the same to her so as not to seem to into her).

I said to her you + me + bunch of golf balls + driving range = fun! what do you think? she text me back "awwww I'm at home for Easter"

so thats where we are at. Now to divulge a little deeper in my own personal self. People would define me as intense and direct. I am very driven and go after what I want. But I make you laugh and I am very conscious of the intensity which is more a presence of me that is who I am.

I live in Hollywood and it seems to me that every girl I date is interested and then fades away. I feel of course if every girl was right then it would be too easy but this is very hard for me since I have been single for over 3 years now. I do not want to settle with a girl that I am not interested in or attracted to. I do not try to date super models and most girls I actually like would be defined by most guys as "really cute"

I find it very hard to ask for advice from people when I dont know what I'm doing wrong or if it is normal for people to date and date and date and date and never really get past the second or third date. I dont want to mess this one up so I am curious to what you recommend I do or to create more interest in her. I want her to wonder if I am interested, I want her to call or text me I want her to think that I'm busy and if I am free I will go out with her. Girls love a challenge and if the guy is too easy to win and there is not anything that is mysterious etc then they will loose interest very fast.

I know all the games but when you are on the court yourself its hard to see from that birds eye point of view.

I also come across as the nice guy but i NEVER EVER do any actions that would define me as that. I am a gentleman that will open the door but I will challenge you if you say anything that I do not agree on or I will call you out or tease you if you are late or do something rude etc.

well I probably confused everyone reading this but the general question is I have is how long to wait to call her again and how to make sure she wonders about me etc =)

thank you for reading!!

[vicki2]

Just curious, why you never get past 2nd or 3rd date? You ended it or "they" ended it?
Not sure are you into it for novelty sake? All relationships - mostly started with attraction, but there're ups & downs ...the graph is not a flat one like out heartbeat, unless when we die..

[xxazurexx]

Honestly....If you played all those games with me, I'd get bored and lose interest really fast, lolz

You'd only get a very desperate, needy and insecure woman, pursue you in the fashion you require.

[LailaK]

When a guy waits a week to call me it usually does make me think of him and pull my hair out wondering "Why doesn't he like me?!"

Then, I get my sanity back and move on to the men who act like gentleman and aren't afraid to show me their interest.

I no longer have time for men who play stupid games. Perhaps the girl you're interested in is like me. If a woman is good looking and confident in herself you'd better believe that you are only one in a long line of suitors. If that's true and you are playing games there is probably someone out there who is treating her better than you are. Why should she pick you.

[girl68]

A week then 4 days... yeah I'm with Lailak... I want a guy who wants to see me. Take some time out of that "busy" schedual of his and call me. You sir are what drives women mad (or at the very least girls like me- who knows exactly what she wants).

[slimla]

trust me I want to call her and see her. Girls always seem to want a challenge and I feel that if I make it too easy which I have with girls in the past I feel they don't find me as a challenge. I'm not really sure. I have been the up front guy and maybe I have read to much about how to peak a girls interest. I really do like her and if I show I like her too much in the beginning then she will probably not feel challenged.

I never play games if I'm in a relationship but to be honest I just dont get the beginning part. The stupid games I hate and I want to call her. Then if i get the answering machine do I leave a message or not? do I text her but then I hear if you are a man you will call. then the dreaded answering machine. Its a texting world now and everyone prefers to text.

I'm not a game player and I do want a relationship. I come across as the harmless nice guy and its always the guys with the edge who date the girls easily because girls like unpredictability/excitement not the kind nice guy. I'm not a push over or a pleaser. I'm a gentleman but girls always seem to lose interest in me... I dont know

[LailaK]

Hmmm... I think I remember writing a thread very similar to this one. Just substitute "you" for "me" and "girls" for "guys". A couple of months ago I was convinced that guys needed games in order to fall for a girl. In my head you needed to pretend you weren't interested so that you wouldn't scare them away.

Looking back, I recognize that theory is utter bulls**t.

It works but the caliber of guys I was attracting by doing that were all jerks and a**holes. When I gave up that theory and started acting genuinely and from the heart I met a really nice guy who treats me the way I've always wanted to be treated. We're moving slow, but it's nice. I encourage you to concentrate on finding the right person for you and to spend less energy worrying about games.

[slimla]

well i agree and wish it was like that. the girl i was talking about just doesnt seem interested anymore and normally id move on but because its the same damn thing over and over and over again its very frustrating to me because i just dont know what I'm missing out on. what I'm not bringing to the table. The me is not a commodity in any means. and Ive heard that saying just be who you are and you will find the one. I can agree to a small part of that. but when the dating game is on girls see red flags and when they see one or two they move on because in Los angeles they have guys beating down their doors. guys left and right all over the place. Models, rockers, hipsters, actors, musicians, athletes you name it LA has it. Girls have so much to pick from and so you have to bring something to the table other then just you. girls like and always seem to be attracted to the guy who yes might be a gentelman but has somethinge extra. challenge, they have something....

[jamie2010taylor]

Fact is it has been scientifically proven recently,men on average sleep with 7 partners compared to women which have 13 in their life. with regards to LA i can see why you would be bothered by this. It is true while you must be a gentlemen you still have to have an edge to you, girls like this because it is different from other guys who treat them like princesses, and instead play life by their own rules. You have to make it clear to her somehow to start with that your back in the dating game. Believe me if she wasnt interested before she will be now. Say something like i met this girl the other day and we really hit it off, okay not suttle but if she questions the situation from that you can be sure she does like you to some extent, if its ignored you know your answer. It is a risk , but it does pay off well. Women are genetically programmed to go for men who have a sexual appeal to women other than themseleves and if you make that apparent to her you are conveying that you are moving on from her (an alpha male characteristic). You must also speak with content language to show you are enjoying a life without her. This is my advice as a starting point to go from and its never failed with me personally.
hope this helps,