A question about being seen as a brother

[BlueCat28]

This is my first post so hi everyone. I am a 28 years old male. There is a woman I love very much and she loves me too but the problem is that she loves me as a brother and she says she wouldn't see me in any other way. We're very close, we talk on msn everyday for hours. Even though she says she loves me very much, I just don't understand why she wouldn't give me a chance to be her boyfriend if she loves me a lot. I am also her closest friend. She tells me secrets that she never told anyone else.

So here is my question; if there's a male you love very much, just like a real brother or a very close friend, but if you say you would never want him to be your lover even if he's in love with you, why is that? Can you please explain to me because I'm about to go crazy and I've no idea what to do.

I told her on msn that when a male tells how he feels about a woman and she says she loves him very much but only like a brother, that male can feel that he's loved enough to be a brother and not enough to be a boyfriend, or have good enough qualities to be a brother and not good enough qualities to be a boyfriend. I explained some more things and after that she didn't even say that what I wrote is not true. Yet we're still very close and she still says she loves me a lot and wants to talk to me all the time about lots of emotional stuff.

Thanks for the replies.

[Jas_mine]

Ooooh, sorry dude but seeing somebody as a brother is worse than seeing them as a friend - at least there is a slight hope still left with the latter. It means she will never see you as lover material, end of, it's almost incestuous to her even though you are not actually related, you can't change her mind, it's firmly set.

[BubbleFreak]

Yah I agree with Jas_mine, I don't think she will ever see you as a boyfriend. Sounds like you are very special to her, but the chemistry is just not there.

[xxazurexx]

I agree with the above two posters, you can forget ever being her lover, it aint gonna happen.

[dewilliams2]

Yea you don't have a shot...I'm really sorry...I know it sucks to hear it that blunt...but....not a shot.

Getting put in the friend zone is a bitch and almost impossible to get out of...getting put in the bro zone (exceptionally rare)...your ****ed.

[NoName101]

I know how you feel, it gets even more confusing when she decides to do something "crazy" with you. And now it all goes from "brother" to "F***! what did we do?"..

[Kaius]

You have to believe the nature and biochemistry are in play here. You can be absolutely gorgeous, funny, successful, and it wouldn't matter because something like your natural scent or the way you walk triggers certain anti-sexual response in her.
The way you talk, or the way to smile.... it's hard to pinpoint reason why girls consider certain nice boys as non-mate material. This goes as far as evolutionary adaptations. Women don't like men who smell like dad because chances are, in the natural world,
you two could be related, and could produce less-than-viable offsprings.

Basically, you have to accept the fact that you and this girl would never be a couple. The good thing is, it is likely not your fault. Cheer up lad. You will find someone much more desirable who will treat you like a sex toy.

[BlueCat28]

We did lots of more emotional talk and she also told me how she spent the day with a male friend. She says it's just friendship but it seemed much more than that and I can't stand this anymore. I will start getting myself away from her and if she asks why I'm doing that, I'll explain. Because if she has the right not to see me as his boyfriend and see me as his brother, then I have the right not to see her as my sister. I can only be casual friends with her and that's only because I don't want to hurt her too much. I would rather not see her again if it was up to me.

Thanks for the replies.

[NoName101]

We did lots of more emotional talk and she also told me how she spent the day with a male friend. She says it's just friendship but it seemed much more than that and I can't stand this anymore. I will start getting myself away from her and if she asks why I'm doing that, I'll explain. Because if she has the right not to see me as his boyfriend and see me as his brother, then I have the right not to see her as my sister. I can only be casual friends with her and that's only because I don't want to hurt her too much. I would rather not see her again if it was up to me.

Thanks for the replies.

Looks like it will be alot easier for you than it was for me.