Saying I Love You too quickly and the difference between love and liking alot.

[Questionasker]

Hi everyone. I'm 19 and had my first real girlfriend last year. We were good friends before we got together and I didn't feel the same way as her until we went to Paris on a school trip where we became bf and gf. It lasted 2 months as she decided that she didn't want a bf anymore and that she couldn't let me keep falling for her when she didn't feel as strongly. Anyway a month into the relationship I told her i loved her...she didn't say it back but I told her it was okay cause i got mine out. Now i'm not sure i did cause now almost a year later i've been questioning that did i love her or just liked her alot. So 2 questions:
1) How far into the relationship should u say i love you?
2) How do you know if you love someone or like them alot?

The reason i'm asking is because if i have a new gf i don't want to make the same mistake cause what i'm thinking now is that i shouldn't say it until she says it. Thanks.

[bluesummer]

That's a tricky one. I've always found men so quick to say "I love you", and I'm not sure why this is. I think a month in is way too soon, especially at your age. I'm 30 and when my bf told me he loved me after two months I was pretty shocked. There is no rush, she's not going to run away if you don't say it to her right away....in fact, you may freak her out!

[xxazurexx]

That's a tricky one. I've always found men so quick to say "I love you", and I'm not sure why this is.

Sweet talk that ensues they get in a females pants more quickly.

[bluesummer]

Well any girl that thinks the words "I love you" are the keys to letting a man between her legs is a dolt.

So I guess if they get in before that and still say they love you, you know it's genuine

[Kaius]

It's one thing to say "I love you." It's another to really be in love. Love is really hard to explain. You just know it.
Once you are convinced that it is love, then you should tell her, without expectation of her saying back.
It would be nice if she reciprocates. Sometimes women are in love but don't tell you for some reason.
My woman told me that she was already in love with me when I said "I love you", but was hesitant to tell me.

But I have a policy regarding love and sex.
I would not have sex with a woman unless I am in love with her, and she is in love with me.
You not only have to say it, but convince your partner that you mean it.

[xxazurexx]

Well any girl that thinks the words "I love you" are the keys to letting a man between her legs is a dolt.

So I guess if they get in before that and still say they love you, you know it's genuine

I'd be more inclined to believe a guy who said he loved me afterwards and who continued to stick around yeah....than a guy who told me he loved me within 2 seconds of meeting and before sex.

Men will say whatever they think we want to hear, to get in the panties.

The gullible and naive female will believe them.

Not true in all cases for men however, but for 95% it's all usually sweetalk.

[xxazurexx]

I also think it takes a long time and to know if you love someone.

I love you, is way too hastily said and is more likely to be 'Im in lust with you' in the early days.

Men particularly so, can confuse 'lust' for love.

You usually know if it was either love or lust and because once the newfangleness of the relationship wears off, it doesn't go to the next lvel.....committment.
If it's love, it tends to go onto long term.

[kai]

I always wonder why people get into a relationship, if they don't love each other.

[Jas_mine]

You could be dating somebody for a month and be in love, you could be dating somebody for a year and still not be in love - love is not time dependent.

And you just know, I don't know how but you just do - I know that doesn't help much! Try to distinguish between whether you love her or are actually in love with her.

[Questionasker]

Thanks for replies guys but to the last message what's the difference between saying I love you and I'm IN love with you aren't they the same thing. Also when i was going out with her I did feel really excited that i was going out with her only because it was my first and that's why i'm confused whether i was in love with her or just liked her alot.

[nowomannocry]

I told my ex, online, that I loved her before she ever said it and it was the worst mistake I ever made in my entire life, probably.

I used to say to this question "who gives a ****" but now I'm starting to realize hm... maybe I should wait until she loves me. But what women aren't ever going to realize about me is that I love life even when it sucks ass. I tell the birds that sing in the morning that I love them.

[nowomannocry]

Thanks for replies guys but to the last message what's the difference between saying I love you and I'm IN love with you aren't they the same thing. Also when i was going out with her I did feel really excited that i was going out with her only because it was my first and that's why i'm confused whether i was in love with her or just liked her alot.

Oh, yeah, I haven't been in love yet. You'll know.

[Teddy057]

There really isn't a set time to say that you love someone, you'll know it when you feel it. Just be careful, try not to confuse obsession and enjoying being in a relationship with actual love for a person. From personal experience, I can say that I have only been in true love once, and we started saying it after dating for two days. I meant I loved her when I said it, but, she must have been confused and enjoyed having a boyfriend more than enjoying being with me.

[sagarbekal]

You could be dating somebody for a month and be in love, you could be dating somebody for a year and still not be in love - love is not time dependent.

And you just know, I don't know how but you just do - I know that doesn't help much! Try to distinguish between whether you love her or are actually in love with her.

wow... a beautiful thought expressed by you... would love to talk to you and discuss a lot more about all such related issues...

have written some stuff here and there which i think suits your interests...

blog: blog_sagarbekal_info (replace underscore with dot)

i too have some thoughts about love and friendship and related things on my blog... its just that i dont find many who could understand it that well at times... think you would do... looking forward to hear from you...

take care..

-sagar

[Teddy057]

In my opinion, truly being in love means putting that person above everything in your life. It also means you would rather be with that person than anyone else in the world, and would drop anything you're doing to be with them. You would go out of your way just to make them smile, because when they smile, it makes you feel overwhelmed with happiness.