am i being paranoid?

[amazed]

OK.. sorry for this being so long.

Myself and my girlfriend have been going out for 9 months. I am 22 and shes 18.

I have a few things playing on my mind and would really appreciate some advice;

1. She went away to see her friend last week in a different city. While she was away she was texting me a lot that night, before this everything seemed great. When she came back I had waited in the entire day for her, she'd missed a train and her phone was out of battery. I was in a bad mood because id waited around all day and he was in a bad mood because her holiday at the weekend had been cancelled (due to the UK airspace ban).

I decided to take her home because she had asked me to, and we were both in bad moods, but i immediately felt bad and tried to call her. She ignored my phone calls and texts. Later on, online, I told her I was worried about her and she called me to say shes fine and just to leave it. Then the next again day she text me saying sorry. However, she was really weird for the entire weekend.

Now, whenever I ask her about why she was annoyed all weekend, she says she doesnt have to tell me everything. She's apologised for being weird but won't tell me why.

2. On a night out a while ago I got a little jealous about her talking to other guys, the night wasnt great and didnt end on good terms. The next morning I went to check the time on her phone and saw text messages from 2 different guys (both old friends of hers from school). One of them was being really flirty. The other was just her friend who she had asked for this other guys number and was warning her not to do anything stupid because "ur boyfriends a great guy". She told him she thought he was "jumping to conclusions" but it still freaked me out. Ever since, ive been really weird when this guys text' her. It's even led to an argument because i checked her texts, which i felt awful for. I later found out through another friend that this guy is possibly an ex boyfriend, which doesnt make me feel great.

At a later date i checked her texts again because i was getting paranoid about this guy texting her. She caught me and we fell out.

Now, shes going out with a bunch of friends from her old school, that other guys going to be there. I feel completely paranoid and wish I didnt.

Another thing ive noticed is. Her sex drive seems really low, I have been trying to encourage sex but it only seems to happen when she is drunk, which is rarely and has been once in the past month. We're going on holiday next month and really hope this helps with this. I want to discuss it with her but dont want it to seem like im being a complete sex pest.

I love this girl and want things to work more than anything. She's cute and makes me feel incredible.

I'm not sure if im being paranoid about nothing or if I have reason to feel uneasy just now. I am also scared shes considering breaking up... and me being strange just now and pestering her about what was up with her at the weekend probably isnt helping. I just wish I knew what was going on.

Right now i just feel like i want to be with her all the time but i know that if you hold someone too tight it can sometimes push them away. I am not a clingy boyfriend, I dont mind her going out with friends at all and will happily give her space. Until i have been given something to be paranoid about. As soon as i feel uneasy about something I think i become a bit clingy.

Any advice on what to do next?

[sehvral]

Well, the signs could point to something going on, or it could be nothing. That being said, stop looking at her texts. Spying on your SO is not kosher, she was right to be pissed.

[alexa]

I think anyone who really loves is a little bit paranoid.Something happened to her but some time it's good to let it pass. I also had a period of uncertainty over my relationship and I was lucky that my boyfriend had patience with me. We decided to go on vacation and was fantastic.He reminded me why I love him and how good we feel together. I would advise you to try to have patience.

[amazed]

I know that. The first time was a complete accident, I dont have a clock in my room and her phone was sitting on the window sill. I didnt think anything of it because i had never even thought about looking at her texts. The second time, i used to mess around with her phone, facebook etc. But this time i looked at her texts and i told her right away. I didnt even get as far as seeing anything, i just felt crap for having the intention of looking at them and wanted to tell her how i felt about this guy texting her. She fell out with me but came round to mine later in the day to say she forgave me.

She just questioned whether or not i trusted her and i promised her that i did. This time last week everything felt perfect, now im left feeling a bit worried about things.

We're meant to be doing something on saturday, making a day of it. Should i give her space until then and stop texting/phoning? even though she is going to be seeing this guy on thursday? and wait until saturday before initiating contact, unless she talks to me first.

or should i keep texting/phoning her as normal, give her some good chat. then pop in to visit her when shes in the pub after ive been to the gym (as the pub is next door), just to say hi and leave.

not sure whether to treat her mean to keep her keen or just be myself and not let her forget that i do care

[amazed]

I think anyone who really loves is a little bit paranoid.Something happened to her but some time it's good to let it pass. I also had a period of uncertainty over my relationship and I was lucky that my boyfriend had patience with me. We decided to go on vacation and was fantastic.He reminded me why I love him and how good we feel together. I would advise you to try to have patience.

thanks, thats actually really helpful :-)

i am a bit worried in case she was a bit weird during the weekend because shes having doubts about us. It might not be... and she wont tell me so ill stop pushing it.

I'm sure our holiday will be good. I'm just not sure what to do about the rest of this week, until i see her and feel better about things.