How many times do I have to say no...

[vashti]

Who cares what I let him do? He's been a selfish lover in the past (ie unconcerned with my big o). If that doesn't change there's no point in continuing anything.

Ahh, I didn't see this mentioned on your thread. Did you mention it before?

[LailaK]

@ Vashti: I've mentioned that he usually gets a blow job and then leaves me hanging.

@Lahnna: It does bother me that he doesn't seem willing to go down on me. In all fairness, I haven't asked him to, but I've never had to ask other guys before. Usually guys just do it. I think he might just be bad at sex or clueless. I keep flip flopping on whether or not I want to teach him. Outside of the bedroom he's a great guy. In the bedroom he's a little dull and clueless. I'm at a very pivotal point where I'm not invested or attached yet. If I want to get out without any heartache or messiness the time is now.

[lahnnabell]

@ Vashti: I've mentioned that he usually gets a blow job and then leaves me hanging.

@Lahnna: It does bother me that he doesn't seem willing to go down on me. In all fairness, I haven't asked him to, but I've never had to ask other guys before. Usually guys just do it. I think he might just be bad at sex or clueless. I keep flip flopping on whether or not I want to teach him. Outside of the bedroom he's a great guy. In the bedroom he's a little dull and clueless. I'm at a very pivotal point where I'm not invested or attached yet. If I want to get out without any heartache or messiness the time is now.

I'd say if you're flip-flopping than that's a "No". You shouldn't have to settle for anything less than you want, and playing hot and cold is only going to frustrate you both.

I remember I dated a 26 year old pure-snow-virgin when I was a 21 year old very-not-virgin. He was absolutely fascinated by everything about my body. He would go down on me and sometimes just look and touch. At first it was amusing. I remember when we had sex for the first time he came pretty quickly. As I was walking him to his car (total role reversal right?) he said, "I can't believe my sperm is inside you right now." I almost died laughing. Eventually I got tired of him "experimenting" with me. He was also far too sensitive, never assertive. I broke his heart, and that was sad.

[cryssii]

I do think it's ironic that my bitchiness is directly correlated to my need to get laid.

So we had lunch yesterday and I told him that what happened was a mistake and we were both at fault. That I shouldn't have given in and that he shouldn't have kept pressing to have sex without a condom when he knew that there was a very good reason for me telling him "no". He agreed and said that it wouldn't happen again. I told him that it wasn't that simple. That I felt disrespected and didn't want to take the relationship further.

(Paraphrased)
Him: So, you want to break up with me because I forgot to bring condoms and you f*cked me anyway. That doesn't make any sense.

He's got a point there. It's like telling a kid they cant have the ice cream, but giving it to them anyway. It confuses the crap out of someone.. jus' sayin'

[Incognito]

I think the bottom line here is that this guy only listens when he wants to (can't remember condoms, but remembers her favorite movie when he tries to patch things up), is unconcerned with LailaK's sexual gratification (doesn't make her orgasm during sex and doesn't go down on her), and doesn't have enough respect to accept "no" as an answer if he's horny. He sounds like a selfish KID. You need to find a respectful, caring MAN. Don't fall for this guys bullshit. You're out now, so don't look back.

[LailaK]

Update: I don't know what happened but it's like I'm dating a whole new guy. I asked him to share responsibility for our sexual health and he is. I asked him to be more attentive and sensitive to my sexual needs and he is. Things are going pretty great. I hope it lasts.

[Doc Durian]

So how are you meeting the challenge, yourself?

You asked, and so should he ask or eventually ask for the same...

[LailaK]

Well,

He get's the condoms and I pop the birth control pills. So 50/50 we're not having babies any time soon (yay!)

I love sex. I've never turned him down for it and as long as it's not illegal, disgustingly unhealthy, or painful I'm pretty much down for whatever he wants to try. I enjoy making my man feel good. I think it's fun. I'm just happy that he's extending me the same courtesy now.

[Junket]

And so begins the search for another guy to boink me on the regular... -_-

I hate being single!!!!

Sorry, I'm taken.

[Doc Durian]

with man prong?

[IndiReloaded]

There are so many stupid people in the world. Its really sad.

[Kaius]

Wait...sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but I would be pissed if my woman forces me to cover up. I hate condoms. I hate opening the wrap, wearing it, and having to pull it off afterwards. I can't believe mankind hasn't been able to improve it much over the last 40 years.
Since you are on the pill, what are you worried about? STDs? Why don't you have him get tested, and then do it with him when he comes back clean? If there is no trust in that area, how would this be a good thing? I guess if you are assuming he has HIV, herpes and all of that stuff,
then it's wise to force the rubber. In all of the relationships I ever had, including my current, I have never used a condom regularly. I get tested every 6 months, always clean..... mainly because I always get to know the woman really well before we go have sex.
I do the porno-ending pull-out every time, and have never knocked up anyone. I use a condom once in a blue moon if I want to finish inside of her....I suppose that's what it's good for...

[Incognito]

Sorr Kaius it doesn't matter what the reason, if she want s him to wear a condom she wants him to wear a condom. If he doesn't want to wear one that badly he can leave. I think its selfish for any man to refuse to wear a condom, especially when the reason is to avoid pregnancy. Men don't have to carry a child for nine months and deliver it, women do. I hate condoms too, with a passion, but that's why I got a vasectomy. I totally advocate a vasectomy for any man who doesn't want children and who hates condoms. Most health insurances consider it "preventative care" and will foot most of the bill. My vasectomy cost me a grand total of $50.00, not that it does me much good these days though.

[LailaK]

Wait...sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but I would be pissed if my woman forces me to cover up. I hate condoms. I hate opening the wrap, wearing it, and having to pull it off afterwards. I can't believe mankind hasn't been able to improve it much over the last 40 years.
Since you are on the pill, what are you worried about? STDs? Why don't you have him get tested, and then do it with him when he comes back clean? If there is no trust in that area, how would this be a good thing? I guess if you are assuming he has HIV, herpes and all of that stuff,
then it's wise to force the rubber. In all of the relationships I ever had, including my current, I have never used a condom regularly. I get tested every 6 months, always clean..... mainly because I always get to know the woman really well before we go have sex.
I do the porno-ending pull-out every time, and have never knocked up anyone. I use a condom once in a blue moon if I want to finish inside of her....I suppose that's what it's good for...

You should read my posts more carefully. I just got back on birth control pills. BC pills need about a month to kick in and start protecting against getting pregnant. During that time you need to use a second form of BC. We've both been tested, we're both clean, after my BC kicks in we can ditch the condoms. Having sex now without a condom means that I risk being pregnant or I have to keep taking the morning after pill which tore me up pretty badly the first (and only) time I've ever taken this. I don't advocate violence but if a guy knew all of this and still wasn't willing to wear a condom I'd not only dump him but I'd punch him in his f**king face. I think I'm a pretty good girlfriend, I don't ask for much and I love to see my man happy. PUT ON A F**KING CONDOM SO WE DON'T HAVE A F**KING KID.

That's my stance.

[LailaK]

There are so many stupid people in the world. Its really sad.

Indi, are you referring to me? I'm curious to know your thoughts.