I need serious advice!

[Reallyo]

Ok here we go..

I have been with this girl for 4 years. We have broken up 5 times all from me because I though it would change her jealousy issues. I now know I cannot change anyone.

last August we got back together and let her know I would never leave again. I even told her sis I wanted to marry her and bought her a ring around Christmas time. Was going to ask her on her birthday in jan.

We were fighting a lot and her sis said that she was thinking about breaking things off with me. So I had to really make sure so I told her I needed time alone for a minute. I couldent tell her the reason. I had cold feet.

I knew when the time was to reconcile I showed up at her house and we made love and I knew that ok this is it. This is my life and I am happy.

That night she asked if I have my Number out or have talked to anyone. I said yes but it was just a friend of a friend and I am not looking for that. She said that she had also given her number out. I thought it was a jealousy ploy. Two nights later she said that she went to the movies with him. Again..thought it was a jealousy ploy. Until the next couple days she said she had sex with him. I broke down cause I knew this was not a jealousy ploy but truth.

I had to stop what was going on and confessed why I needed a minute away.. She said that she liked this new guy. But I knew that the relationship was not even 3 weeks old so I had a window.

She wanted to see the ring I had bough even tried it on. That weekend she was supposed to go to disneyland with him but showed up 2 hours later after she left my house and told me she told Him that she can have a relationship with him like that anymore due to her wanting to work things out with me.

We now spend everyday together. We are affectionate, we have sex, and we always tell each other that we love each other. So I should feel ok.

She comes home to me every night. But....she still has lunch with him and hangs out with him. She tells me that even if we don't work out she wouldent date him and that he's a nice guy and a friend. She never hides seeing him or talking to him.

All her friends and even her sister tell me that I have nothing to worry about and that she REALLLY wants to work things out with me.

I am so confused! Does anyone know what this is!? I have never been jealous but its tearing me up. Please help!!!!!

[blondy2]

If she new you were going to marry her, she probably wanted to see if she was missing anything before she made a life long leap. Then she realized that compared to you, it just wasn't the same. Don't worry, jealousy is a bad trait, don't pick it up now. If your relationship is meant to work, it will. Please comment my post, I really need your advice. Thanks! Love Advice "Blondy2"

[xxazurexx]

It's something I wouldn't be happy with. Particulary not and because, they have a past, ie: had sex together and quite recently it seems.

Although she's picked you over him, I'd be wondering why she feels a 'need' to keep this man around in her life and do lunch with him.

[Reallyo]

She just tells me throughout everything he is just a good guy. She told him not to wait around for her and to date other women. She has never lied to me before. she is also open about it too. She always let's me know hey I'm going to hang out with so and so. So I do trust her. Its just hard for me to swallow. I actually want to meet the guy but she says ok, but right now is too soon.

[Incognito]

Dude, seriously, you have evey right to feel jealous about that! She had a relationship with him while you two were together and cheated with him! What the f*ck? You should have accepted that things weren't going to work when you realized that you constantly fight. Also this "he's a friend" shit is just that...SHIT. She's still dating this dude right in front of your face! If she f*cked him once while you two were together she'll do it again, especially since they still see each other regularly. What, do you think they both lost feelings for each other just because YOU popped the question? NO NO NO NO. What you did/said has no bearing on the feelings that they have for each other. Do you have a ballsack? Does it have hair on it? Do you have a hotdog shaped piece of meat between your legs? If the answer to those questions is "yes" then you need to stand up, and tell her to get the f*ck out until she decides EXACTLY who she wants to be with. I really don't suggest that you do that though, as she's already proven herself untrustworthy. If you MUST, go with my first suggestion. If you've got the coconuts to stand up for what you know is right then give her the heave-ho since she's being unreasonable and inconsiderate.

[Reallyo]

She didn't cheat...cause we were apart for two months almost. I could of but I did not. She didn't know my intentions. But...honestly she has never lied to me before. That is why I think that this could be a friendship. I even heard that he is clueless in bed so...I dunno...she still comes home to me every single night.

[xxazurexx]

She didn't cheat...cause we were apart for two months almost. I could of but I did not. She didn't know my intentions. But...honestly she has never lied to me before. That is why I think that this could be a friendship. I even heard that he is clueless in bed so...I dunno...she still comes home to me every single night.

My ex husband came home to me every night too.......after shagging his affair partner.

[xxazurexx]

She didn't cheat...cause we were apart for two months almost. I could of but I did not. She didn't know my intentions. But...honestly she has never lied to me before. That is why I think that this could be a friendship. I even heard that he is clueless in bed so...I dunno...she still comes home to me every single night.

Also....she seems a little too quick to criticise him for my liking. Saying all this stuff about him, yet she still likes his company?

I'm thinking she is trying to cover her tracks, pull the blinkers over your eyes and she's succeeding.

[Gigabitch]

WTF? She ****ed this guy and is now spending time with him, what amounts to dating him, and you're supposed to feel happy?

You're living in a crazy world. Break up with that girl immediately and make a new life for yourself, one in which she has no place.

[Kaius]

Even though you 2 split up for a couple of months, it was way too fast to move on.... People in serious relationships don't move on and sleep with new people so soon. If you could put that part behind, then kudos to you.
The bad part is her hanging out with this guy...after having a fling with him. That is wrong. Lots of nice guys out there she can be friends with. Just not this guy. This guy is toxic in your relationship.
If she cares about you, she should consider your feelings. Your jealousy is well justified. You are human, and it's not too much to ask for. She needs to stay away from this dude if she plans to stay with you.
It's common courtesy, and adult responsibility. Don't take no for an answer.

[Reallyo]

I know how you guys feel about it. And honestly I'm sick of defending it. But...I did break up with her 5 times. She never broke up with me and has always been faithful. I can understand if she's scared because she dosent know what she will get...facing rejection again. She told me she loves me...but it will take time for her to be in love with me again. She never did anything wrong the whole 4 year relationship. I know I would never leave again. And its something I guess I am going to have to prove. Then I figure he will dissolve away. Its not everyday they see each other. And its usally for a short amount of time. So really...you guys don't think I should believe her?

[xxazurexx]

^^ Of course she doesn't see him a lot. It would raise your suspicion if she did.

She's covering her tracks and doing it pretty well.