Why does my ex want me to stay?

[PackMan]

I want to apologize in advance for this long post. I know this might be alot to read but please bear with me.
I dont really know what to think and id really like to hear someone elses take on it.

My ex broke up with me a few months ago and before that we had been together for 5 years. Our relationship had been off an on. The past few years she has broken up with me 3 times because she thought she had feelings for someone else. During those times she'd always keep me in her life and eventually we'd get back together because she realized she didnt have feelings for the other guy.

Well ever since she broke up with me a few months ago we had been hanging around each other like we were still in a relationship. Phone calls, sex, gifts, etc. But everything started changing around January. One day she tells me that she has to stop kissing me b/c she doesnt know "what we are" at the moment. Later on I found out that she hooked up with someone else. So at this point I told her that I needed to distance myself from her. I was doing pretty good getting by without her. Then one day she breaks the no-contact by calling me.

Next few weeks I go on again without talking to her and out of the blue she calls me and tells me that she misses me. The next day she calls me while out with her friends telling me about a ticket she got and that she wishes I was with her (i dont even think that i can hang around her friends anymore b/c they know the situation and one of the guys she liked is in her circle of friends so that was weird). That Monday she called me to hang out and we hooked up.

I felt bad after the hookup b/c i felt used so I talked with her about it. She said that she has missed me and there are times that she thinks that I am the one for her. But she doesnt want a relationship at the moment. There are alot of guys trying to talk to her (she is beautiful) but she doesnt want to talk to anyone and just wants to have fun. She just wants to have a strong friendship with me and wants me in her life.

This made me feel better but ever since then its like she doesnt care for me. She never calls me, when I call her she always ends the call after a minute or so, and she never makes time to hang out with me (she'll make time for anyone but me). But whenever I bring this up she always says that im the one who never talks to her and all this BS.

But yea, I recently told her that I was moving to Florida (might transfer to go to school in Florida so I can be a Florida resident when applying for Med School). We spoke about it earlier this week when having lunch together. She keeps telling me that I shouldnt go. She knows that I would stay here and finish my degree here if there was a chance of me and her getting back together. When I told her this she said it could go either way with me and her.

When talking to her about this kind of stuff she gives me the vibe that she doesnt care for me as much. But everythings different when we are actually together. I can actually see her falling for me when we hang out b/c she'll start off very closed off, but by the time we're done hanging out shes hanging all over me and stopping herself from kissing me.

Im so freaking confused right now. Half of me wants to leave so I can stop getting hurt by her. The other half wants me to stay because I feel like were probably going to get back together after she test the waters or something. I dont know, my mind is going a million different ways right now. Ive hurt her in the past and sometimes I feel like this is karma for putting her through hell. We both agree that if we get back together its probably going to be forever b/c we can both see ourselves being married to each other.

But yea...I need someone elses input. What do you think is going through her head? Anyone ever been in a situation like this?

[Kyouhen]

Man that is a tough decision, but I'll be honest, which would ruin your life, not hooking up with her, or missing out on fulfilling your dream

[xxazurexx]

Why havn't you ditched her ass and long before now?

The girl is fickle. Has sudden flights of fancy whereby she is going off to test the waters with other men and when it isn't working out, is returning you and you allow her to return.

Does the thought of being 'second best' and to all these other men, appeal to you or something?

She sticks around and because nobody has come along yet, that quite 'floats her boat', or maybe they dumped her so she came crawling back.

BACK UP is what you are.

I wouldn't trust her, as far as I could throw her.

[Teddy057]

Don't let her come in your way of your dreams. Go to Florida, start a new life, and go to med school. This girl is nothing but dramatic bullshit, all of which you don't need. In fact, when you leave for Florida, I wouldn't even tell her, she doesn't deserve to know you've left. It sounds like you're 100x more mature then she is, find a woman on your maturity level.

[xxazurexx]

Teddy is absolutley right!

Don't allow this 'train wreck waiting to happen' stand in your way of you fulfilling your dreams.

Get out there on your own and fulfil your ambitions and don't give her a second thought. She doesn't deserve it.

Think of what YOU want and don't allow her to drag you down.

Come back and thank me and Teddy in 10 years time and when you are a very successful man, happily married to a loving woman you don't ever have and won't ever have to doubt...and your three gorgeous kids to boot....or four maybe, who knows

[Jas_mine]

Sorry dude, she sounds like one of those from the 'grass is always greener on the other side' school of thinking - she has previously ditched you three whole times because she quite fancied the taste of somebody else - she didn't return because she had some great epiphany and realised she loved you, more like the dudes in question kicked her to the curb or it just didn't work out with them the way she had planned.

You seem to be Plan B for her, you know, her backup plan but only because you allow her to - please don't let her get away with her 'use and abuse' behaviour, have a little confidence and self-esteem - you deserve so much better than the little she offers.

And go to Florida dammit, don't listen to that little selfish so and so - there are probably plenty of decent females that await you there.