My guard is up...I need advice

[kali]

kk So I met this really nice guy over a month ago and I gave him my number, he called a few days later but it was in the middle of the night so we only talked for a few mins.....A couple weeks went by and I heared nothing from him untill abut a week and a half ago, he called me up and told me he was going away for the weekend and asked me if i wanted to grab a coffee when he got back,I told him maybe and he said hed call when he was back.....So monday rolled around and I wasnt home when he called,I did get the msg but I didnt call him back(I absolutley hate talking on the phone).....I ended up seeing him Friday night @ the bar and since he lives just around the corner from me I met up with him at his place so we could finally talk. Everything was going great..we kissed a couple times,we joked around and we talked......then everything went wrong....finally i was getting ready 2 head home,and he realli didnt want 2 walk with me but his friend made him.....on our walk he was telling me that because my wall hasnt broken down already that he doesnt think he can be with me. I was like "We've face 2 face 2 times,my wall wont just crumble from seeing u twice".......Then he proceeded to tell me that since its still "up" he didnt think he would be the one able to knock it down........I'm really into him and ive been really hurt in the past(i havent dated in 2 years because i was hurt so bad from my ex),hes cute,and sweet,and smart and lots of fun to be around.....and I know he's into me to but what am I suppose to do...It take time for me to trust someone and I told him he cant just expect my wall to fall but he seems to think otherwise...he thinks it shouldve just came crumbling down and meeting him....what am I suppose to do???please help

[QueenofCorona]

I'm not sure he's the one worth letting your wall down for. For one thing he called you in the middle of the night? Guys looking for piece call during the night. Also you are joking around and smootching him in my book thats letting your guard down. What exactly does he mean by that? Putting out? Going home with him after the bar? He can ask you out on a real date...just the two of you and not out at a bar with his friends/your friends around. Get to know him on a more personal level before deciding if he's worth it.

[girl68]

I don't care what history you never gave him a fair shot at all. First you don't call him back, then you make out with him and you're annoyed he's annoyed with you? Ummm yeah, I would have given up too...

[kali]

QueenOfCorona : He meant letting my guard down as in telling him how i feel,telling him things that certain people dont know about,its not like i was full on making out with him he kissed me like 3 times.Thanx for the advice

Girl68: first of all he already knew I wouldnt call him back becasue i told him that the day i met him....I told him I hate being on the phone..doesnt matter who im talking to.....and He wasnt annoyed with the fact that i didnt call him back he didnt ven bring that up,hes upset cause I wont let him in right away..it takes more then seeing eachother twice before I let him or anyone in.

[cmacattack1]

Even so, I still think it's a little wrong he's on the offensive so early telling you to "bring your wall down." I don't think I really understand what this means, he was just on a walk home (that he didn't want to do?) and was telling you that you are cold? Stuck up? Prude? Just seems like a red flag to me.

[lahnnabell]

I dunno girl... Doesn't seem like he really went out on a limb to get to know her either. 2 times they've hung out in a matter of weeks and he's complaining that her wall hasn't come down? I'd be sketched too if the first time a guy called me was in the middle of the night! Not a great jumping off point. Only my family, close friends and roommates, and my boyfriend are allowed to get away with that. And then he waited a couple of WEEKS to call her again? I wouldn't return somebody's call lickety-split either in that case. Doesn't seem like he was crazy interested, otherwise she'd have heard from him sooner and at a more functional hour.

And he transitioned from being awesome and attentive earlier in the night to being cold and frustrated with you later on in the SAME night? I think "crumbling wall" is synonymous for "spreading legs". Forget him.

[kali]

cmacattack1 : Thats what I dont understand at first everything was really good,then next thing I know its the complete opposite

[lahnnabell]

Besides, good things are worth waiting for. There's a lot less harm in taking things slowly than there is in rushing it all. If he can't see that, he's clueless, or is only looking for one thing. I'd say back off and go do your own thing. If you stop hearing from him, or he keeps up this, "You never know when I'm gonna call ya!" dance, then you can pretty much assume he's only into playing games. He can't expect anyone to take him seriously when he's is making himself unavailable (i.e. inviting you over, then rudely refusing to walk you home despite your close proximity). This guy sounds like a chump. "Crumbling walls..." This isn't a Beyoncé song.

[Mish]

He sounds like a player, let him be