Do women like men who are really different?

[Kaius]

Last night my woman and I went on a nice date... movie, coffee, etc... During our conversation towards the end of the evening, we started talking about physical fitness. She has been an athlete all her life... workout 5x a week...intense cardio and yoga. Her body is incredible....She is overall a very gorgeous American woman by any standard. I am a relatively cute Asian dude, savvy-business type...but not athletic at all. I used to play some team sports in college, but then I got fat. I spent the last year losing weight and now I'm kinda fit again....but nowhere as fit as my woman. So I asked her, "are you gonna be disappointed if one day you wanna climb Mount Everest, but I am not fit enough to join you?" She looked at me like if I were some strange alien asking an alien question.

I know she loves me for who I am. Maybe if I were any different, she would be less attracted to me. She looks at me like I'm the sexiest man on earth and she devours me. But in the back of my mind, I wonder what she sees in me. Hmmm... I feel lucky to be with such an amazing woman, but I wonder if it is common for women to be attracted to men who are completely different than they are. I'm not insecure or anything (I don't think). I like the fact that she knows martial arts and can kill anyone if she wanted to. I guess sometimes I feel wussy, and she constantly have to assure me that I'm more than man enough for her. Does this make sense???

[girl68]

For me no, I tried the whole opposite thing but it didn't work out. Of course I still have differences with my now bf but generally we're pretty on the same level in terms of interests and what not.

I can give you one example: we both play hockey, he is much, much better than me. We both play together on the same team. Does it bother me that I can't keep up with him? No, he's natually much better at it. I don't care. I'd only care if he was making fun of me or making me feel like I suck (even though I do). He does not. He knows I try hard, and work hard, and yeah.

[xxazurexx]

I don't think it matters. I've been involved with guys who were similar to me and a guy who was culturally 'worlds apart' from me.
We can't help who we fall for and no matter who or what they may be and a guy doesn't have to be different, for it to be interesting.

[lastwish]

If you think you're fat, why don't you just work out? It's good for your health.

[Mish]

I feel lucky to be with such an amazing woman, but I wonder if it is common for women to be attracted to men who are completely different than they are.

I think you are being a bit shallow. You are basing your entire perspective on physical fitness discounting other important factors working in the favour of a relationship. If there is a difference in fitness level it doesn't mean there is also a difference in empathic, emotional, psychological and behavioural alignment.

[Doc Durian]

Last night my woman and I went on a nice date... movie, coffee, etc... During our conversation towards the end of the evening, we started talking about physical fitness. She has been an athlete all her life... workout 5x a week...intense cardio and yoga. Her body is incredible....She is overall a very gorgeous American woman by any standard. I am a relatively cute Asian dude, savvy-business type...but not athletic at all. I used to play some team sports in college, but then I got fat. I spent the last year losing weight and now I'm kinda fit again....but nowhere as fit as my woman. So I asked her, "are you gonna be disappointed if one day you wanna climb Mount Everest, but I am not fit enough to join you?" She looked at me like if I were some strange alien asking an alien question.

I know she loves me for who I am. Maybe if I were any different, she would be less attracted to me. She looks at me like I'm the sexiest man on earth and she devours me. But in the back of my mind, I wonder what she sees in me. Hmmm... I feel lucky to be with such an amazing woman, but I wonder if it is common for women to be attracted to men who are completely different than they are. I'm not insecure or anything (I don't think). I like the fact that she knows martial arts and can kill anyone if she wanted to. I guess sometimes I feel wussy, and she constantly have to assure me that I'm more than man enough for her. Does this make sense???

Think of it as two worlds and times colliding.

The societal be fit/be buff/be physically attractive world of modern society versus the keep some extra fat/have some reserves/show your wealth through extra padding portion of numerous societal upperclass lines.

For her to have been lean and toned a mere couple of hundred years ago would have made her undesirable for marriage and child bearing.

For you to have had short clipped fingernails around that same time (dependent on your asian origins) would have denoted you as worker class.

There are too many variables of ethnic origins, genetic origins, environment, values, ambitions, and pop culture for you or any other to gauge what one finds attractive for another, these days.

You should consider your climbing question to her differently... had she realized that you weren't the type to be interested in climbing that mountain....and was cool with it... it was a given to her in her mind.... did your delivery of the sentiment suggest that it's because you intend to become obese, thus growing away from who she would like to become?

...Or that she doesn't care whether you make that climb or not, since she doesn't intend to make that climb either... she'd rather get padded having your babies?

Don't second guess yourself, or your relationship.... if you dig each other.