THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! (so far)

[kuriyente]

Okay, so here's the deal. i'm 17 and a guy, about 25, started courting me a month before my 17th birthday. We're both in college. Of course, I'm too naive to know what to do in relationships so we kissed after two months without us knowing each other that well. I'm already letting him kiss me because I also want it. The thing is, now, after being apart from him for about two months because it's our summer vacation, I just realized what I just did. We are in a relationship whether I deny it or not. I told him he's not my boyfriend yet and even though he disagrees, he just goes with the flow. We already know we love each other, but the thing is, I just realized that he HAS become my boyfriend even though I'm not ready for such a relationship, specially since I think I should know him better first. It has been 7 months since he courted me. I keep thinking we're in a mutual understanding relationship, meaning we like each other, but now I don't even know anymore. I've talked to a friend and he said that since we weren't boyfriend girlfriend, it might as well be called a fling. But we're not a fling! We're not seeing anybody else but each other. The reason why I can't consider him as a boyfriend yet is because I don't think I know him well enough yet, I even wish I could just redo it all and do it right.

I know he's trustworthy judging from what his friends say and from the stuff I've known about him so far. But I don't know what I should do. I don't want to think of it as a fling, but at the same time I'm very unsure. Help, please. I really need advice on this. I don't know if I'm underage for this or not but if anyone would be nice enough to help I'd be so glad.

[isay]

Everything should be fine. He thinks he's your boyfriend and you're not ready so don't do anything you don't feel okay doing. Don't ever do anything you don't feel ready to do. Take it easy with him and let him know you don't feel comfortable being in a serious relationship yet and that you want to get to know him better first. You can date, see each other, talk....this will help you get to know him and maybe feel more comfortable eventually....if not, just end it. Don't let him manipulate you in any way because you're young. Sometimes at that age it is hard to say no and make decisions on your own.

[Sonrisa]

just the fact that he is 25 is an issue for me

[vashti]

He's too old for you. Don't you have parents?

[Doc Durian]

If he's trustworthy, he's never too young or old.

(unless he's a psychopath and very highly unlikely)

See what happens, OP.. go with your feelings and your thoughts.

Just remember, as the age difference is slightly bigger, you both may have different timelines and different ambitions, depending on your situation... or possibly not.

Explore these things immediately, otherwise, without a clear path.... you both may well be unhappy should your wants and needs not be discovered eventually to be the same.

Having said that... I'm immature and always have been in many facets... your age gap suits me perfectly in so many ways.

[girl68]

Kissing doesn't equate to boyfriend. Least not in this world over here.

[Kaius]

It's just kissing. nothing to worry about yet.
he's too old for you, as stated above. People in mid-20s have very different
views from teenagers.

[Incognito]

You say that you don't want him to be your boyfriend until you know him better? That's how you get to know someone better. For the record I do think that the age gap is too much, especially since you're a teenager. Something about this guy courting you a month before your 17th birthday (which obviously places you at 16) is disturbing too. If you do really like this guy and want to get to know him better without being girlfrind/boyfriend make sure that you only go out in group settings. That way you're still getting to know him, but not in a 1 on 1, girlfriend/boyfriend setting.

[Gigabitch]

He's too old for you and the fact that he's going after someone your age makes me think he's a creep.

[vashti]

He's too old for you and the fact that he's going after someone your age makes me think he's a creep.

A creep, or incredibly immature and unable to relate to a female more appropriately aged.

Half your age plus seven years. That's the rule.