Question?????????????

[Killabrand]

Well Im new here. I got a question maybe some girls or guys can help with my problem. I was engaged to a girl for three years, we were high school sweethearts. Well we started fighting for two months at the end of the relationship about all kinds of stupid stuff. I knew we needed space but we never alowed it. So we both just got on each others last nerves. Well I have OCD. Im not scared to talk about it. thats Obsessive compulsive dissorder it causes me to to do things over and over. Such as when I would call her when she was with her friends I would call ten times. Well she gave me many chances. More then twenty. It came down to that last day and we got in a huge fight I broke a special frame between the two of us and she blew up rightfully so. She told me it was over for good. Well instead of letting things cool. I kept calling. It bugged her to the point where she finally said she doesn't love me or care about me and she doesn't want to hear or see my face again. I called a week later and she told me the same thing. She told me she was seeing someone else. She was, obviously to get her mind off me. Well to make a long story short she just called me about five days ago asking if we could meet to exchange our stuff. Thing is all she has for me is her ring and a couple of my shirts. She told me she wanted her stuff back. She doesn't have anything over here. She knows that. Well we ended up talking for fifteen minutes. She wanted to know what I was doing to get help. I told her I started counseling and medication. Which is helping me everyday. I can tell a difference. She told me she just doesn't know if she can trust that Im going to change. Now ive asked many people, and they have all told me that they think she has to still love me and care about me and she was prob calling saying that crap as an excuse to see how I was doing. In my own oppinion I think she is mad yes but I think she has to still care about me. Im just saying we were so close and shared in so many experiences it would be impossible for any other guy to top me. Im just asking for your oppinions. Everyone around me have just told me to give her time. And that she still loves me. Maybe all I need is some words of encouragement. I don't know. My problem can be fixed thank god, I just hope and pray that she sees a renewed me. I hope she sees that I wont go back to my obbsesive ways. Its only natural for her to feel hurt. She gave me so many chances. I just never got help or help didn't help me enough. Not alot of people really understand what ocd is or what it does. its hard. Well I asked her if she could care about this guy as much as she cared about me. She said yes it's possible its only been four weeks we never get to spend time together. I responded by saying you no its not possible. She didn't say anything. To top it all off the guy she is seeing works with her. That is a rebound, someone to get her mind off me. I can't see that happening. I mean everywhere I go brings back a memory. It has to be the same way for her. She said she took down all of her stuff to go in her room. Everyone is telling me to just give her time. So that's what I going to do. Trust me she's worth it. She brought out the best in me.

[Andy_S]

Give her time mate. Things will come around and seems to me that you are determined to change for the better. Your getting help, your doing ALL the right things.

I actually respect you for admitting you have a problem (most people i have met would try to shift the blame) and if a random guy on the internet thinks this, im sure she will think something along these lines aswell.

Just give her time, if its meant to be, it will be

[Killabrand]

Give her time mate. Things will come around and seems to me that you are determined to change for the better. Your getting help, your doing ALL the right things.

I actually respect you for admitting you have a problem (most people i have met would try to shift the blame) and if a random guy on the internet thinks this, im sure she will think something along these lines aswell.

Just give her time, if its meant to be, it will be

Thanks, yeah im geting help and that takes alot since I was in denial while with her. I just felt she would stay with me. The only thing Im worried about is this guy she's seeing they have been together for almost a month and a week now.

[Andy_S]

dont let it worry you too much mate. Just make sure you continue to get the help that you need, for as long as you feel is neccessary, everything else will then fall into place

[Killabrand]

Thanks, so this guy really is nothing that I should worry about? The hard part is going to be proving to her I have changed and hoping she gives me the chance to show her. She has given me way to many chances and all of them have failed.

[Andy_S]

Well look on the bright side (a phrase i usually hate when talking about break ups but none the less) if you dont get back with her, atleast you have sorted your top priority which should be yourself.

Theres no doubt in my mind... if you complete getting help then im sure she will notice and respect you.

This guy is probably just a rebound to take her mind of things. Just give it time. In the mean time, just concentrate on getting help

Let me know how you get on

[kanzaki]

she loves u. Dun worry. And bout the other guy, it may b a lie.

[Killabrand]

she loves u. Dun worry. And bout the other guy, it may b a lie.

Ive seen them together. Ive also seen her at his house.

[Killabrand]

Ive seen them together. Ive also seen her at his house.

But I still think she loves me. He's a robound thats all. At least thats what I hope. If it looks like a rebound and feels like a rebound then it most likely is.

[Killabrand]

But I still think she loves me. He's a robound thats all. At least thats what I hope. If it looks like a rebound and feels like a rebound then it most likely is.

I guess

[abercromqt20]

this guy is is probably a rebounder. just give her time. by all the stuff you said you can tell she most likely still has feelings for you. just work on urself and what u need to do to get her back and whats meant to be will most likely find a way. just give her what she needs right now. there's no need to piss her off.

[blue]

ok its ok to keep caring about her and keep moving on with your life continue to get help and take care of you first, thats all she ever wanted from you in the first place. do not aproach her let her come to you and this guy yes could be a rebound but if it turns out that hes not then you know that this wasnt meant to be and that all things happen for a reason. take care of you first.

[Killabrand]

I dont care anymore. Talking to someone else.

[Killabrand]

I dont care anymore. Talking to someone else.

I know you will be reading this. Im sorry about last night.

I dont understand what's going on. I like you alot. Your such a sweetheart. Im just so confused. I was in my room and I came in my sisters room to see if you were on she told me yes. I Im you and you didn't respond. My sis without me knowing it Im you and you responded. I Im you and you didn't. So she responded asking why you weren't talking to me. I got mad because I thought you were ignoring me. I'll give you the benifit of the doubt. You prob weren't ignoring me. Im sorry if you weren't. That's one of the many reasons why I don't talk online. Ive gotten into lots of fights with alot of my friends for the exact same thing. Next time I see you online to make it alot easier on the both of us I'll ask when you can talk on the phone. To make it all worst. I called you at 9:30. I forgot its 10:30 over there and your mom answered. So I guess this day can't get any worst. I miss you. Im so sorry. If you can ever forgive me.

[Killabrand]

Its been two weeks now since she called me. I tried talking to someone else but it just doesn't keep me away from thinking about her. Now I can see why she started dating someone right after we broke up. It does help a little talking to someone but not alot. Stupid me didn't want to go date after we broke up mainly because I felt it wouldn't help. For some reason she new subconciously it would help. I can see now how it is just a diversion from thinking about me. This guy is a rebound, no person comes out of a relationship being engaged and for three years and takes a relationship right out of the brake up serious. I didn't. Im just taking my time, going to counciling, working on myself. I have no doubt in my mind that she can not completely blank me out of her mind therefore she is going to want to check up on me. I am confident she will see a change in me. A change that will be permanent. She will see how great it is that I have my ocd under control for good. I think that will lift a huge boulder off her shoulders knowing that I changed permanently. I think her knowing that Im striving to conquer this problem I was born with makes her happy for me. Though she may not sound like it I think she still has to have hope in me. Thank you all for all the words of encouragement. Every time Im down I come on her to read all your comments and it puts a smile right back on my face.

Thanks