So Nice

[bah]

to be dumped on Mother's Day. Who does that shit?

[xxazurexx]

This isn't in relation to the guy who was stringing you along is it?

[bah]

Unfortunately, yes and I won't go into the drama of how it happened. But the point is, it would have been nice if he waited an extra day. I'm a single mother so it was a special day for me.

Just needed to come here and vent so that I don't shred him to pieces over it and move on. I am in "no contact" mode. He already called me to see how I am doing but I ignored his ass. Thoughtless prick.

[bah]

I love this quote:

"The best revenge is a life well lived."

[xxazurexx]

Oh my gawd, so you didn't keep up the last 'no contact' then....tut tut tut

What are you like eh? But then I guess I have no room to talk. Reckon I probably hold the world record for keep going back, despite knowing Im flogging a dead horse, lol

[bah]

LOL yes. I failed. I usually am the "dumper" (then he chases me like crazy) but he dumped me for the first time. (And I know damn well he is expecting me to chase him) Surprisingly, even though I shed some tears it was easier that he dumped me and a big weight was lifted. For some reason, he being the initiator of the dumping was enough for me to just finally have enough. Weird huh?

Now I'm not even the least bit tempted to talk to him. Especially since it was done so insensitively. We've become a "habit" to each other and I take great pleasure knowing he is going to struggle awhile trying to replace the attention & ego trip I once gave him.

He is still blocked everywhere (from last time). The only thing I have left to do is to change my phone number. Then, *poof* be gone, asshole! LOL.

Here. This might inspire you: [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i7GEMQC2IY[/url]

[xxazurexx]

As I said before, your situation is identical to mine. I do the 'endings' and he does the 'returns' and all the time.
The guy in my situation has never ended it totally. Other than after an argument and he didn't speak to me for 2 months, but he came back.
Then back in November when I'd called it off again and said I couldn't do friends any longer, he'd said that this time he was going for good and wouldn't be back. 3 months later he was back again, lol ...

I'm unsure why they play this game, but because your situation is so like mine, I reckon that despite him ending it, he will be back and given time.....but nothing will have changed and he will still want it on his terms.

[bah]

I'm unsure why they play this game

Because we put up with it! We are their always-available-opened-armed doll that they can take out of the box anytime they want. When they are done with us, they shove us back in the box and put us in a dark corner of their closet, just out of reach to anyone else who would truly love us back.

I reckon that despite him ending it, he will be back and given time.....but nothing will have changed and he will still want it on his terms.

Oh, I know. That is why he will not even have the time of day from me. I am very glad it happened this way. Obviously, I felt like the "dumb one" when I did the dumping but now it's like "why the hell did I put up with that for so long"?

I guess I got a wake up call.

How long has your situation been going on?

[xxazurexx]

The trouble also is, is that our situations have gone on for so long and these guys have become 100% sure of us.
Everytime we end it, they continue to come back and because this pattern has repeated itself time and time again and for so many times.

I've even ended it and thinking that time alone would make him reflect/figure out if he wanted me or not. Still didn't work.....even 3 months apart wasn't long enough for him to have figured anything out. Total waste of time.

[bah]

Total waste of time is an understandment! Waste of our hearts, minds, souls and everything. God, it's messed up to toy with someone you really don't want to be with.

Does yours have insecurity issues? Mine does. I think we are mainly being used for an ego trip along with any sexual and emotional gratifications.

[xxazurexx]

How long has your situation been going on?

It's been a year of 'back and forth'...
Prior to that I'd known him a year. We'd actually met online and for a few months just chatted, but there was a romantic interest on both sides. We are also kinda long distance, but we met a few times. Then he'd say that financially he was in a bad place and he couldn't afford the trips and he made no effort to return, but kept me hanging on the telephone for a year after, lol..
I guess I hung around and all this time, because he'd talk like this was a relationship...but no effort to make it a relationship.
And you do eventually get pissed off in that kinda situation.

[xxazurexx]

Total waste of time is an understandment! Waste of our hearts, minds, souls and everything. God, it's messed up to toy with someone you really don't want to be with.

Does yours have insecurity issues? Mine does. I think we are mainly being used for an ego trip along with any sexual and emotional gratifications.

I don't think in my case it is for sexual gratification and because we are long distance. And we don't chat dirty either, so it's not that keeping him around.

He did seem to have insecurity issues in the beginning, in that he'd seemed possessive, always demanding of my time and a tad controlling. But it's been two years now and I think he became a lot more secure. Although now and again if I said I was going out, he'd show signs of jealousy.

I think I'm an emotional tampon to be honest. He would say I'm the only person he can talk to and be himself with and that Im 'different' to other women he's ever known. He tells me everything, from minor problems to major ones. Sometimes I felt like his therapist.

Thing is, he's a good looking man!! He'd have no probs finding someone else...yet he always comes back to me....I couldn't figure it out

[bah]

I think I'm an emotional tampon to be honest....yet he always comes back to me....I couldn't figure it out

OMG. Me, too! I think we are "safe" people for them. Someone who knows about their problems and is easy to talk to. Maybe we are their therapists in a way.

I feel bad for mine. I know he is having problems and I helped him soothe some issues in life. But the thing is, people need to learn how to stand on their own and especially learn not to emotionally abuse others.

I also think there is co-dependency going on as he helped me through with some issues in my life, too.

I've been reading non-stop about this stuff for a couple of weeks now if you can't tell lol.

[xxazurexx]

OMG. Me, too! I think we are "safe" people for them. Someone who knows about their problems and is easy to talk to. Maybe we are their therapists in a way.

I feel bad for mine. I know he is having problems and I helped him soothe some issues in life. But the thing is, people need to learn how to stand on their own and especially learn not to emotionally abuse others.

I also think there is co-dependency going on as he helped me through with some issues in my life, too.

I've been reading non-stop about this stuff for a couple of weeks now if you can't tell lol.

LOL, yet again, the similarities are uncanny, so we defo dealing with same 'type' of man.
Mine also helped me through some problems in the beginning and was there for me. Likewise and when he's had stuff going on, I was there for him and he could never fail to rely on me.

Saying that, he's not riddled with problems and they aren't major problems he has had. Just daft stuff really, like a dispute with a family member, or issues with work, when he was working, etc and I'd be there to hear him and agree or whatever. He'd even text me and tell me what he was eating for lunch and what he was watching on tv.....lol. I got soooo bored with his idle chit chat...

[cmacattack1]

Coming back to "prove to you" that it can work is proving nothing at all. That's why after a couple months, things never change. That seems to be the window of "if I don't have anybody by then, they may have somebody so I gotta make a move."

I don't want to say that people don't change, because they do. The people that do change though don't do jumping jacks in front of your face telling you "how much they have changed" though. It does take some time to really come a long way and put into practice what you have learned about relationships into your every day life. But most of the time by then you will find somebody else.