would you forgive a cheater?

[Incognito]

I actually think hate is an over used word. If you (man or woman) TRULY hates someone, there is no way you could comprehend having sex with them imo.


Errr, didnt quite happen like that. What wouldve been a better thing to do? make him wait?..if so- how long..how long is a piece of string?

Anyway, i made a mistake in letting a guy get close. I for sure wont be doing it again.

True. Hate generally denoted despising someone to the point that you'd kill them if given the chance, but since many use that in place of "dislike" I just went ahead. It probably would have been better to make him wait. No string, just don't have any relationship or sex until he has had time to get over his ex. I suppose it doesn't matter now because its over. It is unfortunate, however, that you won't let any guys "get close" to you anymore. I think Mr. Right will come along one day. Hopefully you won't have a wall up when he does.

[qwertz]

It is unfortunate, however, that you won't let any guys "get close" to you anymore. I think Mr. Right will come along one day. Hopefully you won't have a wall up when he does.

Everytime I let a guy get close I get hurt. There is a pattern forming. I dont need nor can i handle anymore hurt in my life.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you shouldn't be allowed to choose your own guys. I think you should go back to that guy who used to be your boss. Give it a chance.

[qwertz]

I do make shitty decisions dont I.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't think dating your friend was a bad decision, Q. Unless you had some idea he would cheat. It was his screwup. Why are you beating yourself up over it?

[qwertz]

I don't think dating your friend was a bad decision, Q. Unless you had some idea he would cheat. It was his screwup. Why are you beating yourself up over it?

No, i had no inclination he would cheat, he has never cheated on previous girlfriends and was absolutely distraught when his wife cheated.

Not really beating myself up over it but im just pissed with myself for letting myself get hurt..yet again.

[misombra]

i have a song for you i'll go get it hold on...

[misombra]

_______________________

[SirWagginston]

I don't mean to be rude, but the number of threads like this I've read make me want to believe the whole "Nice guys finish last," thing.

[Cosmo]

No non-assertive guys finish last.

Nice does not equal assertive, but, if others perceive you as nice you are probably not assertive enough.

Assertive means letting people know what you want then taking it. It's about seizing the day and seizing the moment. Invariably you'll be an asshole if you disagree with someone or tell them how it is. I've learned that being nice doesn't mean sacrificing your voice and needs.
You can still be nice but tell people how it is. It's invariably better to speak your mind, that way you'll meet someone who thinks similarly to you (instead of say, withholding your opinion to make sure you don't offend her).
You know how you were taught to be polite, subjugated, docile and to only say something if you had something nice to say? **** that, that filter turns you into a door mat. Speak your mind, tell people how it is. Do what YOU want to do.

Jerks get with a lot of floozy's and ignorant women, but once she gets pregnant or he gets fat he gets stuck with her in an unhappy relationship until one of them cheats a few years down the road. The relationship is great at the start. Think about how fired up you are when you get mad, same thing with jerks and women except its translated sexually. Eventually that gets old.
Nice guys spend a lot of time masturbating and alone, but eventually they find the girl of their dreams who likes them for who they are. If the girl knows what she has, they'll last forever. If she doesn't, oh well, whip out the latex glove, olive oil and sock again until you find ms. right one more time. Also you can try going to the bar and 'playing the role' of the jerk, telling girls what they want to hear, to lower your cost on olive oil and latex gloves.

[qwertz]

I don't mean to be rude, but the number of threads like this I've read make me want to believe the whole "Nice guys finish last," thing.

well this guy would come under 'nice guy' labelling. He was my best friend for years, in those years i got to know him pretty well and there is seriously not a bad bone in the guys body. I think him cheating was just a mistake by him and i do think he is genuinely devastated that he has hurt me.

All the same, i wont be taking him back.

[decapitatedtoe]

I would forgive them once. The punishment would be a great deal of respect lost for them.

[Incognito]

.........
Nice does not equal assertive, but, if others perceive you as nice you are probably not assertive enough.

Assertive means letting people know what you want then taking it. It's about seizing the day and seizing the moment. Invariably you'll be an asshole if you disagree with someone or tell them how it is. I've learned that being nice doesn't mean sacrificing your voice and needs.You can still be nice but tell people how it is. It's invariably better to speak your mind, that way you'll meet someone who thinks similarly to you (instead of say, withholding your opinion to make sure you don't offend her).................

These are clear contradictions. What exactly are you trying to say? Also, the whole issue of nice guys and relationships is in another thread. This thread is specifically about Qwerty's situation, which I still think was a matter of timing.

[Cosmo]

It's not contradictory at all.

You might be the nicest human being on the planet, but others perceive you as a jerk because you don't kiss ass all day and actually do things for yourself.

I can be nice to someone, and I always am, but I can also disagree with them and tell them when I think they are behaving in a foolish manner.

[Incognito]

Ok, that makes sense. It was the way you worded it the first time. I took it to mean that you have to be an asshole to "tell someone how it is", but that you can still do so while being nice. Obviously that is impossible, a "nice asshole" is an oxymoron.......unless of course you're talking about an actual ass hole which can be nice