Should I leave him?

[bacella]

I'm not really sure what to do with my relationship?
I've been together with my boyfriend for about two years and we've lived together for a year. Everything's been great and I finally feel after being in 3- 4 longer relationships that he was the one!
We have slowly started talking about moving closer to our families and maybe starting a family (we are both in our early 30es).

Then I found out from checking his e-mails a few days ago that he has signed up (not payed so can't reply to any messages) to two dating sites and have met up with at least 4 - 5 women that he has met on nights out woth the boys (the last one as recent as last month when I was away).

The messages were quite innocent and only had questions about where to meet up (a few lunches and one dinner) and some of them had follow ups around thanking for a nice lunch and when to meet again, which my bf didn't seem to have replied to. Or he said something around I don't want anything serious....

I've been extremly upset about this as I have been enjoying our lovley relationship, thinking how great everything is and how much in love we still are.

When I confronted him, he felt ashamed and I had trouble getting anything out of him.

He panicked when I said I move out and promised me that I'm the "best thing that ever happend to him". He's saying that nothing ever happened with any of the other women...
I then wonder why? Why would you want to hook up with all of these women when nothing happends...excitment? Wanting to live the single life? Having your cake and eat it?
He couldn't say....

I am absolutely in pieces about this,- but I need to make a decision! I can't waste my life in dead end relationships anymore,- I want a family and children and although I'm still young, I feel that time is running out soon..

I can't even bare to imagine my life without him,- but I'm strong enough to know that I can live without him if I have to.
What should I do?

[Gigabitch]

When he says "nothing happened", he just means nothing sexual. In my opinion, plenty happened. He's dating other people, for God's sake. That's "something".

I, myself, would never be able to trust him again. It's not like you're at the beginning of your relationship and he's still trying to figure out if he wants to commit. You've been together for years and you're living together, talking about taking it to the next level. For him to be doing this kind of thing now is a HUGE RED FLAG. Don't move back in with him. He's a cheater. Just because he hasn't had sex with anyone else yet (if you believe that) doesn't mean he wouldn't.

[VincenzoG91]

I agree with Gigabitch. And don't expect marriage to fix any serious relationship problems. Fix the serious problems before getting married, and if they can't be fixed, don't get married.

[bacella]

I know!
And it is worrying that he is dating other women now so far into our relationship. I think I know deep inside that I have to leave him.
I just need very, very good reason to be strong enough to go through with it!

[Gigabitch]

And this isn't reason enough? Really? It would be enough for me.

[girl68]

That isn't enough of a reason? Wow, you're really asking for it if you stay.

[bacella]

It is... It's just difficult to leave someone you love and I'm scared to be on my own again.

[Teddy057]

Man that's ridiculous. If a man is in love with you, WHY would he ever find a need to even THINK about joining a ****ing dating site?! If you start a life with this man, be prepared to walk in on him having sex with other women, don't even think about having children with such a pig. If he isn't 100% devoted to your relationship, WHY STAY IN IT? This is all coming from a male by the way. If you have any self respect you will leave the joke of a man you're dating, and go find a real man, one who wouldn't pull this bullshit.

[Gigabitch]

It is... It's just difficult to leave someone you love and I'm scared to be on my own again.

With this guy, you'll get more company than you bargained for.

[bacella]

Lol! Thanks... I needed to laugh...
Just spoke to him on the phone and he has booked us in for luxury week away in June.
God! He does make it difficult, but than again, it should be very easy considering what he's done.

[Gigabitch]

Did he do things like that before he got busted dating other people?

[bacella]

Hmmm yes...

but

I'm not gonna be able to trust him anymore, am I..?

[Gigabitch]

I don't think so, especially without a satisfactory explanation for what he thought he was doing.

I say go on the vacation and spend all his money, then cut him off when you get home.

[Teddy057]

Payback's a bitch.

[xxazurexx]

If you were the best thing that ever happened to him, why is he meeting other women and spending his money on wining and dining them? Sounds to me that he's with you, but has been very much keeping his options open and to see if there is anything better out there.

I think I'd do what Giga said though. I'd go on this holiday, have him spend a lot of money on me, then dump the cheating rat.