Relationship Advice.

[faultysunrise]

Hey guys,
This may be a long wall of text but please bare with me.
Im not one for posting on a love forum, i like to resolve problems myself but im so unsure about this that i thought it would be wise to get some advice.

Im not like most guys, most guys my age anyway.
I tend not to go for girls unless i really really like them and think that something can develop from it, because of this i have only ever had one girlfriend before this which lasted about two years and was broken off by her for silly reasons.

Well about 3 weeks ago, i officially had another girlfriend after being single for a long time.
Before we got together i spoke to her on the phone, messaging and at college.
My problem is as follows and it might be a little difficult to explain but please help,

She hates initiating contact, We hardly ever speak at college due to us both having different friend groups and the only time we actually get to speak is when we have classes together which is rare.
She not only doesn't initiate contact at college but on the phone and online, so sometimes i test to see if she will initiate contact if i don't initiate it first for hours and sometimes she does but very rarely.
It makes me feel uncomfortable especially at college where it just seems like she wants me to leave her with her friends until were alone.

She hates public affection,
We don't do anything in public, Hold Hands, Kiss which i dont complain about because that's who she is and who she is is the reason i am with her.
But sometimes it just feels like its just me, she wont show public affection to me.

She thinks i lie a whole lot,
She thinks i lie about my grades, What i did at parties etc.

And possibly the one that gets to me the most, she ignores EVERYTHING.
If she has a problem with something, she won't tell me. Even if it does involve me,
when i persistently ask her whats wrong she will drop hints and when i pick up on them shes just like "Oh its nothing",
In fact one time i got the vibe she thought i was seeing someone else and i asked her about it and she said
"I don't really care if your cheating on me anyway"
That really struck me, because that's not who i am and its surely not what i want from our relationship.

Shes only ever been in one relationship before and her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, so it makes me feel as if she is insecure or I should just really wait it out for a few months and see if she starts changing and trusting me?

I would also like to add that when were alone,
My house or her House, Everything is so different, its just so perfect.
Shes who i know she is, and it seems like for those hours in which were in that room watching a movie, kissing etc she really does have feelings for me.

Please help =/

[faultysunrise]

Im not sure if i am allowed to BUMP but,
BUMP

[Mish]

It sounds like the two of you are too different and incompatible and you need someone else who has a better chemistry with you.

It's probably hard seeing this, but letting this one go and finding someone more right for you is probably the best advice you can get at the moment. It's usually easier to understand this a couple of months after the break up.

[faultysunrise]

Thanks for the reply my friend,
Its always good to hear what others think.

But see the problem is We got together, infact i fell for her because we were so compatible, we have so much in common that breaking up with her because were incompatible just seems like a far-cry.
As i said when were alone everything is just perfect, she seems to trust me then.
it seems as though its just her insecurity since her ex-boyfriend or that as you say we are incompatible and she really doesnt like me.

I just don't want to end it too soon and regret it as i know i will,
Because at the end it will just seem as if i didn't try to figure out what was wrong and just found a scape-goat.

[Mish]

But see the problem is We got together, infact i fell for her because we were so compatible, we have so much in common that breaking up with her because were incompatible just seems like a far-cry.

It doesn't seem that way to me looking at your original post.

You've only been together for 3 weeks and already:

- She makes you feel uncomfortable in college because of your different points of views on what should be the right level of conflict
- You have completely opposite views on public affection
- She doesn't trust you and thinks that you lie a lot
- She doesn't communicate her views about issues in your relationship and that bothers you
- She ignores EVERYTHING (to paraphrase you) and that bothers you

That doesn't sound to me like a healthy relationship. These are not "simple to fix issues". Considering you have so many issues in only 3 weeks of being together, it would be a lot healthier for you and her to go your separate ways.

[sunnybunny8212]

well why is she perfect when no one is around, but then a complete different character in the open...?
shes probably a bit hesitant because shes been in ONE relationship, and doesent know how to adjust to a new
relationship or simply shes not ready to do so... I say if you really like her, wait it out a bit.
see how things go... she doesn't say when things bother her because shes not used to a boyfriend asking.
she was cheated on so therefore her actions may come off a but hasty or different but shes probably just trying to
protect herself you know?

give it time <3

[VincenzoG91]

I wouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who considered me a liar. She needs to get over her trust issues or this isn't going to work. And her communication skills are going to cause trouble again and again. If she has an issue that involves you, she should talk to you about it. I don't think the public affection issue is problem that needs to be fixed, some people are just shy about that kind of stuff.