Interfering friends

[Syph]

Hello all,

The girl I am currently dating as a very annoying friend. I clashed horns with him over a jest I made about him being in the friendzone. Let's just say he didn't take it very well. I feel that he is undermining her decision as much as he deliberately is trying to piss me off. i.e. he called me on her mobile, thankfully I missed the call.

Should I worry about his influence?

Cheers,

[xxazurexx]

Depends if he's really in the 'friendzone' or not. The guy obviously doesn't seem to think he is and for some reason. But then some guys have a hard time accepting that the woman they like doesn't feel the same way and they keep on sniffing around the female, living in hopes things will change....ahh bless.

Was he a bf of hers previous or has he always just been a friend to her?

[Syph]

Was he a bf of hers previous or has he always just been a friend to her?

Always a friend. May have fancied her in the past. He's got his own gf at the moment.

I feel the SOB's stitching me up...

[xxazurexx]

^^Well if he's always just been a friend and even though she has been aware he likes her, then he is likely to always just be destined a friend.

Give him a little something, that would ensure he gets 'stitched' up ...lol

[Syph]

This still doesn't help me come a a decision if he's manipulating her from the sidelines, I mean what kind of girl lets a guy mate on her phone. She either doesn't care, in which case I'll stop anything with her or she didn't know...

[IndiReloaded]

LOL! Good for you, the "friend zone" comment is exactly what you needed to tell him. You just asserted yourself as Alpha to him. Of course it pisses him off--you are where he'd like to be.

Don't be too much of a dick, tho, or it will backfire on you. If he complains to her, you need to tell her (nicely) that she is the woman for you and that you are just making sure everyone knows it.

[Mish]

I mean what kind of girl lets a guy mate on her phone.

I think this is a question you should be asking her. You should tell her about how you feel about her friend, though you should probably have some good evidence to support your arguments against him.

[cmacattack1]

I don't like putting her in a position to choose between you two, but I guess it's going to inevitably hurtle towards that eh?

Have confidence in the fact that you are doing everything you can to be a good boyfriend right? How can he really manipulate and get his way in on her if you are the model boyfriend? If she were to really break up with you or leave you for this guy despite everything you have done for her and everything you are, she was too immature to be your girlfriend in the first place.

Have some confidence and don't worry about this guy. You have to deal with him, but don't give him any ammo to fire at you about. You don't have to be best friends with him, but when you do run into him, just tolerate him and be a bigger person. Does he spend more time with your gal then his own?

[Syph]

I think this is a question you should be asking her. You should tell her about how you feel about her friend, though you should probably have some good evidence to support your arguments against him.

This could be difficult considering we haven't been on our first date. However, we have organised a date next week... I'm not really in a position to make demands for answers. Should I still do what you suggest?

[Syph]

Have confidence in the fact that you are doing everything you can to be a good boyfriend right?

More like a good suitor, we're not a couple. I'm building it up because we're both busy this week.

Does he spend more time with your gal then his own?

Not a clue... seems to be very possessive over her though. He even interviewed me on facebook chat when we first met? She insists he like a big brother she never had...

It's just odd.

[xxazurexx]

So you are not even her bf? Nor even had a date yet?

He's likely a friend and he's just looking out for her interests and as friends would. He could be trying to find out info about you and to ensure you aren't a 'dick', so that his friend doesn't end up hurt. He's likely to be a good mate and protective of her.

If she has known him longer than you, then I'm now thinking that you have no right to be interfering in that and especially given that you two havn't even dated yet.

If he is bad mouthing and she takes notice, then she couldn't have wanted to date you that badly anyway.

[iSAMMiEx3]

He probably has/had a thing for her. Talk to her about it first, if she thinks it's nothing then it's hard to do anything. I had a guy who's "best-friend" would be all over him, I told him she likes him, he said no, a week later he found out that she does, & he told her off. It's really on the girl's part if she wants to take action.

[Syph]

So you are not even her bf? Nor even had a date yet?

Embarrassingly no... We have arranged a date after the exams. In hindsight, I realise the first sentence of the original post was a little misleading to be fair.

He's likely a friend and he's just looking out for her interests and as friends would. He could be trying to find out info about you and to ensure you aren't a 'dick', so that his friend doesn't end up hurt. He's likely to be a good mate and protective of her.

The way he went about it was like I was on the apprentice...

If she has known him longer than you, then I'm now thinking that you have no right to be interfering in that and especially given that you two havn't even dated yet.

If he is bad mouthing and she takes notice, then she couldn't have wanted to date you that badly anyway.

I'll see what happens. I'm not guessing her decisions until they pass from her lips.