Why do I fall for guys who don't respect me?

[Lexi]

I've been thinking over my past relationships, they've all failed and I think it's because I go for guys who don't respect me or my feelings, who treat me badly. I've got male friends who treat me like a queen and I know they are interested, but for some reason I can't feel anything but friendship for them. I think I'm addicted to drama! Someone who will love me passionately, and who isn't afraid to yell at me, what is wrong with me?!!

[xxazurexx]

If you allow guys to walk over you like a doormat, then no they won't respect you.

To get respect, you have to command respect and if you have no respect for yourself, don't expect that anyone else will either.

[VincenzoG91]

You need to read up on the differences between assertive behavior and aggressive behavior. You probably want an assertive guy, but you are choosing aggressive guys.

[Gigabitch]

It's because you don't respect yourself, Lexi.

[bluesummer]

Passionate love has nothing to do with someone yelling at you. Maybe you should try out one of these drama-free guys, and give it a chance. You'd be suprised how quickly you come around to it.

[RdHrshyKss]

i totally feel the same way sometimes. i have come to grips with the fact that out of all the relationships i've been in that have gone to shit, there is one commonality...myself. i'm not saying your situation is exactly like mine, because i know everyone is different and everyone has had their own experiences that has made them who they are. but i've learned the hard way that my shitty self-esteem and constant fear of what others are thinking of me has led me down a really crappy road relationship-wise, and in other areas of my life too. not to say the blame is all on me, because i know that a guy shouldn't treat me like shit no matter how i view myself, but it's my fault for not feeling that i deserve better and allowing myself to be treated that way. what i've noticed is that once a certain type of guy realizes how vulnerable you are, they take advantage of it in all sorts of ways to boost their own confidence. with my bf now, i think that he does certain things that he knows hurt me because me getting upset (in a really f*cked up way) assures him that i care...

like everyone else has said so far, if you don't respect yourself, the guys you choose to date won't feel the need to respect you either. might be best to take some time to evaluate yourself. figure out what's going on with you, why you are the way you are (past experiences) and what you do in relationships that makes guys feel like they can crap on you. once you come to grips with yourself, are confident in what it is that you really want/need, this problem will hopefully disappear. i say "hopefully" because i'm still trying to figure myself out and have yet to even reach that point... :o(

[warriormaiden]

Maybe it's because you don't respect yourself? Self esteem issues can lead to some really bad choices.

I like assertive guys, I don't really find it a turn on when a guy just sits back and lets me take the reins. But the guys I've mostly found myself with have been 'bad' boys. I guess I just need to distinguish between a good guy who has confidence within himself, and just an out and out douchebag.